| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 130 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage. | BroSquirrel | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 12:40 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Dating so-called spiritual women seems to always be a losing proposition.I’m in Orange County, CA | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/24 03:02 AM |
| 1 | Dating so-called spiritual women seems to always be a losing proposition.I just had this come up on my Instagram feed. Sacrena App - The Sacred Dating App https://www.instagram.com/sacrena.app?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ== Supposedly it’s a new dating app for spiritual people. I’m not on any of the apps because they sound so bad, but I’m actually considering this one. I don’t know, I figured I would share it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/12/24 07:03 PM |
| 1 | Dating so-called spiritual women seems to always be a losing proposition.You feel like you’re one of the fake spiritual women or genuine ones? lol just joking around, I know what you are saying! | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/12/24 06:53 PM |
| 1 | Dating so-called spiritual women seems to always be a losing proposition.I totally get what you’re saying. I’m specifically hoping to meet a spiritual woman, but one that is genuine and not the “fake spirituality” you are noticing. There’s a real difference between people who genuinely embody spiritual principles and those who use the label as a way to avoid accountability. Authentic spirituality, to me, is about self-improvement, personal responsibility, and the constant work of evolving as a soul. It’s about practices and beliefs that help us learn from our pain, g… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/24 03:45 PM |
| 2 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.I can’t imagine that. Loosing a wife is bad enough. I can’t imagine loosing the time with your children too. I don’t know, I don’t see how the idea of divorce is just thrown around so easily by some people. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/10/24 11:36 PM |
| 3 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.It’s like if your boat had a minor leak and instead of patching it, you grabbed an axe and chopped a giant hole and sank it so you could just go find a brand new boat instead. That’s how your’s and mine saw marriage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/24 11:13 PM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Right, focusing on the negative too much blinds you from the positive. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/24 11:10 PM |
| 2 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.That’s such a good point. My parents are still together so I learned by watching them work things out. Her mom was divorced three times so she learned from that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/24 08:33 PM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Your chances of having a partner divorce you as a gay man or a woman are way lower than they are for a heterosexual male. That’s all I meant. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/24 08:31 PM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Yes, this! I didn’t go into detail about her childhood, but that’s why she is the way she is. Dad hit her as a baby, then left. Mom was divorced three times. Many other layers to it, but she doesn’t know what being loved feels like, and she doesn’t know how beautiful a family can be. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/24 08:27 PM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Yeah, there’s really two outcomes. She never regrets it and spends the rest of her life wondering why she’s unfulfilled She realizes she made a mistake and regrets it. I think she’ll spend many years at option #1 before she makes it to option #2 | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/24 08:25 PM |
| 2 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.It sounds like your divorce wasn’t just because the spark died out, but because the spark died out AND your partner didn’t want to do the work to recover it. It’s not like you felt bored and just decided to leave without addressing it. That’s kind of the point I’m making. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/24 10:10 PM |
| 2 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Wow that’s a powerful story, and a powerful lesson she is learning. Seems like women want to romanticize the idea of divorcing, being free and independent, only to have to face a very different reality. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/24 10:06 PM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Thanks! I’ll definitely read at some point. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 03:28 PM |
| 2 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Yep. If the next one doesn’t sign a prenup, I’ll question her motives for marrying me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 03:27 PM |
| 2 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Yes so true. She said she thinks she can have a more meaningful impact in the world by working and not having kids… that’s her right to hold that opinion but I think she’ll regret it one day. Brainwashed by our culture. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 03:27 PM |
| 2 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Yes. Definitely learning from it. I’ll choose better next time. Also grateful this happened before kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 06:16 AM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.I never thought about that part of it. That’s true. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 04:40 AM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.I’m sorry dude that must have been a draining. I can’t imagine. I am glad it happened quickly. Better to rip the band aid off. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 04:35 AM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.At the beginning of a relationship, the predominant neurotransmitters are dopamine and adrenaline. After bonding and building a deeper connection over time, that shifts to oxytocin and vasopressin. The love doesn’t go away, it’s the adrenaline that goes away. Some women just conflate adrenaline with love. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 04:33 AM |
| 2 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Yep. I fucked up. I’ll play victim for a little while if I damn well want to. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 04:28 AM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Thanks. Only 3 months. Spent the first month trying to work it out, then after no effort from her, I told her I wanted the divorce as well. Spent the second month negotiating, and the last month doing the admin. She’ll finally be moved out this weekend. I’m going to distance myself from her. I won’t stay friends and I won’t let her keep me attached. I want to heal. I’m doing a lot of spiritual and inner work as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 12:34 AM |
| 2 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Karma is a bitch! | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 12:32 AM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Right! Look at Hollywood movies. Two of the most popular romance movies of all time, The Notebook, and The Titanic. They have the viewers rooting for the girl to cheat on her man! | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 12:30 AM |
| 2 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Exactly what’s going to happen. Everytime she gets that spark, it’s going to fade. Then she’ll come back. That’s when I’ll get the satisfaction of ignoring her and watching her realize she threw away a perfect life. We had everything we used to dream of when we were younger. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 12:27 AM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Exactly. I’m never giving anyone the power to hurt me again. Nobody has that power. You only give them that power by believing you need them. I will love again. I will find meaningful connection. But I will never believe I need it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 12:25 AM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.If you truly feel like you don’t deserve love, a high dose of magic mushrooms might show you a different prospective on your life. You can always get better. You can learn from your past mistakes. It may take some spiritual work as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 12:23 AM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Yeah, I’m in a no-fault state. But it doesn’t matter. I got the house and the dog. That’s all that matters. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 12:20 AM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Sure, but her vows specifically said she didn’t view it any differently. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 12:16 AM |
| 3 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.I wish women understood this. I’m human too. I’ve gotten “butterflies” before when another woman flirts with me. But I would never act on it and that would never cause me to distance myself from my wife because I get something so much more meaning than “butterflies” from her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 12:15 AM |
| 3 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.I was going to say this. Men should do all that to keep the spark alive, but so should women. They made the vow too, but they act like it’s the man’s fault if the spark dies, and it’s his and only his responsibility to change. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 12:13 AM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Right! That always annoys me to hear everyone always say “communication is key”, but nobody ever teaches anyone HOW to communicate. The Gotman method is good for that. I just wish it was common knowledge. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 12:10 AM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.I can’t wait until mine comes crawling back after she finds out how lonely real life on her own is going to be and how devoid the dating landscape is of quality partners - Just so I can reject her and make her deal with the consequences of her actions. The idea of how hard it will hit her when she realizes she lost a husband that treated her like a princess, her dog, and million dollar house makes me happy. She had it made. But there’s nothing exciting about having everything you need. She wants… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 12:05 AM |
| 2 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Haha scary how text book this story is, huh. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 11:56 PM |
| 2 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.It sounds like you’ve learned how to be happy without anyone else. It was probably hard at first. Don’t you think people can do the same thing, but inverse? Learn to be happy with their partner for those 20 years, like they were in the first 10? I agree that there is no poor reason to leave a new relationship, when just dating. If someone doesn’t seem like spouse material, move on and find one you really want to spend the rest of your life with. But after getting married, work together to learn … | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 11:55 PM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.We got engaged at 2 years, married at 3 years. Then we were married for almost 4. The whole time, it was exciting because we were building our careers, creating our life, buying the house, but as soon as we had everything we used to always want, that’s when she got bored. The only thing left to do was have kids like we planned on, but I think that scared the shit out of her when we finally got to a place in our lives where that would have been our next step. She had a shitty childhood and shitty… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 11:47 PM |
| 7 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Thank you. It just drives me crazy that I’ll never get the truth. If she really didn’t have an affair, I’ll never believe it and there’s no way for her to prove she didn’t. I’ll always be left wondering. And if she did, not like she’s ever going to tell me. The pain is high right now, but there are some positives. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 04:15 PM |
| 5 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.I want to be a woman or gay in my next life so I don’t have to deal with this shit again! | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 03:36 PM |
| 5 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.You’re truly a lucky man if you put in the effort to keep the spark alive and your wife actually appreciates it. 75 men have commented in here whose wives didn’t appreciate them, and I’m sure most of them, if not all of them tried. Next time, if I ever get married again, it will be to a woman who appreciates everything I do. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 03:33 PM |
| 8 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.I see where you’re coming from and that’s solid advice. But I promise you I did everything imaginable to keep that spark alive the whole time. We just couldn’t afford to go on any vacations, but that was the only difference. I still randomly brought her flowers out of the blue, took her on date nights (when she wasn’t using work to distance herself), always got up to give her a meaningful hug when she got home, still opened the car door, carried her bags, left her nice notes when I left for work… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 03:30 PM |
| 10 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Your right. That is good advice. I wish I would have seen the red flags before we got married. I loved her too much to see them. And when they say 80% of the time, it’s the woman that initiates, it might even be higher. My ex-wife initiated, then didn’t do anything about it, so I was forced to file in her. Then she gaslit me and said “Your the one that divorced me. I was thinking we would just take a break and stay married.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 03:22 PM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Yep, 31 years old. Happy she did it now and not after 20 years and kids. But still so weak. I'm passed the point where I'm sad and depressed about it. Now I'm just mad. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 09:43 AM |
| 5 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.I can't wait until mine realizes that she ruined her life. I got the house, I got the dog, I kept my retirement, pension. All she got was cash. She is acting like marriage is refundable. But one day she'll realize she's lonely, nobody wants her for anything other than her body, shell be alone. And she'll realise she threw her life away. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 09:40 AM |
| 2 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.I want to go through her phone so bad but I don't think I would like what I might find. And if I don't find any evidence, I still wont be satisfied because maybe she used a different phone. But I do know her journals were one of the first things she moved out of the house after asking doe a divorce. Makes you wonder. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 09:34 AM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.I dont know if its a man or a woman thing either, but I've never heard of a man just leaving because he got bored. But I hear stories of women doing that all the time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 09:31 AM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.You’re right it should be common sense. I don’t know why they think it’s going to be adrenaline and dopamine forever. Its delusional. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 09:30 AM |
| 3 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.I will never take her back. Strong chance there is someone else in the picture. She may not be sleeping with him, but someone else may very well be influencing this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 09:25 AM |
| – | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.I’m realizing my situation is almost every divorce. I always thought divorces were from affairs, abuse, constant fighting, alcoholism, etc. but nope. They are all because the woman gets bored. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 09:24 AM |
| 6 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.She did give me a few things she wanted and I did them. But everytime I did, she would move the goalpost and want something else. She literally said one time “you fixed all the problems I asked and I’m still not happy, so you must not be the one for me.” Something along those lines anyway. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 09:22 AM |
| 3 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.That’s so sad man. Reading all these stories is crazy. Sure, I like sex just as much as anyone. But thrills seeking is not worth it for temporary pleasure. I would rather have a lifetime of trust and teamwork. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 09:19 AM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.I agree. It’s a culture problem as well. “If he’s not meeting your needs, leave, girl!” Is the message. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 09:16 AM |
| 1 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Sad. I’m not looking to remarry for now but would like to have kids one day, but hopefully I find a woman with the right relationship with god first. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 09:15 AM |
| 2 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.I agree. And she says she “isn’t cheating” but just because she isn’t sleeping with someone else, doesn’t mean she isn’t interested in anyone. With or without his knowledge. She swears she just wants to be alone, but I don’t really buy it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 09:13 AM |
| 3 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Thank you. I will. “Awareness” by Anthony De Mello has helped me a lot. Attachment is the root of suffering. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 09:09 AM |
| 3 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Sorry to hear that. That is horrible. I can’t imagine how hard that is. Now that I’m divorced, I’m hearing all these divorce stories and it is so common. She shouldn’t have done that to you. It makes me realize that men love deeper than women. We love unconditionally. They love until they think they found someone better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 09:08 AM |
| 3 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Hahaha love this. Thank you. I’m waking up. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 09:05 AM |
| 5 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.We share the same views on this. It’s sad that when women cheat, it’s always “well she was probably neglected, her husband wasn’t meeting her needs!” But when men cheat, they are scumbags. Male or female, cheating is sick. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 09:04 AM |
| 3 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Yeah man. I feel like they put it all on us. They’re like “bring the spark back or I’m done”, but don’t try to bring the spark back on their end as well. I tried. I asked her on creative date nights, tried couples therapy, asked her to go on a couples retreat. She said no to all of that. Distanced herself, worked more, saw her friends more without me. Even went on a vacation without me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 09:02 AM |
| 5 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Very possible 🤔 | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 08:59 AM |
| 7 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.I totally agree with this in a dating situation. But I view marriage differently than dating. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 08:58 AM |
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