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View 0 posts and 111 comments by Dayman115 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

You have been too, lol. You could have backed out at anytime. I keep arguing because I think I'm right. But yeah, doesn't really seem to be going anywhere. It's been an interesting conversation. Have a good one
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 08:02 AM
2

So I got around to taking a look at these studies. The first one doesn't conclude thst men objective women, but that men more exposed to sexual imagery might be more prone to objectifying women ("this study proposed that the more men are exposed to objectifying depictions, the more they will think of women as entities that exist for men's sexual gratification") Also, the sample size was only 187 people. Thats really not enough to conclude anything about the entire gender. As for the second, I co…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 07:22 AM
1

You can have these conversations without assuming most men don't view women as people. You are free to make those assumptions if you want, but you may get called misandrist.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 07:02 AM
1

Why not both?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 06:42 AM
1

I believe that not to judging people based on the gender they were born is helpful to all.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 06:18 AM
1

And that's all great, but why then do you need do judge that every man MUST be viewing them as objects? Don't you see how that's the same behavior as men who believe all women do x w or z?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 06:02 AM
1

Guess it's over then. I must view women as objects, as dictated by the studies. I mean, I think I view them as people, but they obviously know better. Could you tell me what the studies say should be my next hobby? Or what movies to watch? They clearly know more about me than I do, haha. Tell me, if hypothetically there were a scientific study that proved a misogynistic talking point about women to be true, would you still call it misogynistic? Just curious.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 05:55 AM
2

What's there to debate when you have the studies that prove everything? Kind of shuts down the whole conversation to say "its a scientific fact, you can't argue with it. You may be different tho". I'm sorry, bit no study will ever convince people they hold beliefs they don't have. People know their own mind a lot better than any scientist that has never met them. It "became" a gender war? This whole thing started because you said men who swipe on most profiles don't view women as people. How is …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 09:22 PM
2

Height is not behavioral. That is data that can be measured, but you can't measure the mind of every human being on earth. Maybe one day, but we can't now. So studies like that are subject to change and are not infallible. Racists used use "science" to explain why they were superior. That has long since been debunked, how do you know these studies won't also become outdated? I think there's things to be learned from studies like this, but you can't place judgements on everyone you meet because o…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 09:10 PM
2

One more thing I would like to add about objectifiction. You're right, I don't hate my car, but I don't love it either. Cars and tools are replaceable. People are not. Every person and the relationship you have with them is whole unique and can never be replicated exactly again. It's dishearting to have this feeling about a group of people, and yet for some reason people think I view them as tools like a car.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 08:58 PM
2

I agree hate and objectifcation are different. Not the best analogy on my part. My point was it is misogynistic to think all women will think the same way, because they are women. Likewise, it is misandrist to think all men think the same way, because they are men. All this is is me trying to explain how people may view this as misandrist, like you asked originally. Optimizing chances on an app that uses ai algorithms to match people does not mean you view them as objects. And if you think it do…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 08:52 PM
2

Yeah it evokes emotion to be told you hate something you like. Sorry if I assumed that was directed at me, but it sounded like you were talking about men in general, which I am a part of. So I included me in that analysis. Look, your welcome to think all or most men view women as objects, just don't be surprised when people call it misandrist. If I said all or most women like men for their money, people would call me misogynist (and rightfully so).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 08:39 PM
2

When I have talked about women as an object? Do you not see how demeaning it is to say "you think you actually view these people as people, but really you think they are objects"? Especially if you really DO view them as people? How would you feel if I told you you might not think you hate men, but really you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 08:29 PM
2

Lol. Yes, I do care. I tried doing it "like your supposed to", carefully analyzing each profile and sending likes out very sparingly. Problem is that led to no interaction. I tried swiping on every profile and, lo and behold, I started getting likes back. THAT is now the point in which I vet a profile. Why spend hours vetting profiles that have a 99% chance of radio silence? I'm sorry, but maximizing my potential of meeting someone (who i want to be my partner for life btw) because the app is de…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 08:23 PM
1

Because people are complex and can't be reduced to studies? I swipe on most profiles, but I don't think women are beneath me. Now what?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 08:17 PM
1

Don't you think you're dehumanizing men by assuming all men are like that? Would you feel dehumanized if people assumed you had the self control of an animal due solely to your gender?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 08:11 PM
3

I think the misandrist part is when you said men don't care about women as people. That can sound extremely insulting to the men who do see them as people. Even if you only mean men who swipe on every profile, and not all men, it's still rather ignorant to think there could be no other reason than that they view women as sub human. For instance, could be as simple as the app incentives and rewards that behavior?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 07:27 PM
1

Oh wow, that's quite the struggle. If only I could trade places to make things easier for her. Then, she wouldn't have to deal with the pain of choosing or settling for awesome sex, because no men would consider her as an option. That would make this SO much easier for her, and I would gladly shoulder the burden of having to choose between different suitors and fun sex, but alas! If only we could trade places! I hope she can find peace between the attention and sex
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 01:43 PM
4

You say no one thinks they are bad, then go on to say why they might be bad. "anyone who is chronically single is that way for a reason. You probably do have personality traits that turn people off, maybe you hold views about women" So I'm not a bad person, I just might have bad traits and have messed up views about women? And I'm supposed to interpret that as you NOT thinking I'm a bad person? How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 04:20 PM
–

But how can someone women do not find handsome find validation? And yes, I get some validation from places like work, but knowing you can do a job is different from knowing you are the type of person women want to spend time with.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 03:54 PM
–

Don't get me wrong, having friends ds and family goes a long way. I do get some of what I carve through them, and I'm thankful everyday to have them in my life. I do various things for touch, like a pet (cat), massages, and even a cuddle therapist. And if I really want sex, I could go see a professional (I'm considering it, but not there yet). But something is still missing. I am missing that external validation, that proof that I am indeed good enough. And if I'm good enough for one person, I c…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 03:50 PM
–

I hear what you're saying, but I have some issues I'm not sure how to deal with. Like wanting a hug or someone to hold my hand. I don't feel the need for it often, but sometimes I really want it. How do I deal with the hurt that comes when I realize no one wants to give me these? The hurt that I'm not good enough for anyone to want to give me those? This of course can be expanded to wanting someone to talk to, someone to comfort me when times are hard, someone I'm confident has my back, or just …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 03:36 PM
1

It's to avoid hurt. I guess I can only speak for myself, but I avoid woman because all my life has taught me it only leads to emotional pain. I know it's not a 100% chance, but years and years of it has me feeling that it's just best to avoid it all together.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 03:14 PM
1

What if that one person died many years ago in some freak accident? Would that mean there is no one now?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 02:33 PM
3

Why were you having sex with people you considered abhorrent in the first place?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/24 04:38 PM
1

People that don't think it's needed for sound mental health should try going 30 years without it and see how they feel. Put your money where your mouth is.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 02:21 PM
6

I care about her character, her mind, her soul. If her mind and soul are tied up with her profession, I would, of course, care about it for her. I would, of course, be proud of her accomplishments and happy she is doing something she loves and has overcome many obstacles (presumably) to get to this point. My point is that it would never be a negative. I would never be like, "Yeah, I like this girl a lot, but she's a [occupation], so I won't go out with her." All that matter is how she acts aroun…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 05:53 PM
2

? That's a strange question. Why does it matter if they are into me? Ummm, feels like it should be self evident, but I want someone who is into me, yes. Do you usually go for people that aren't into you? I just want a companion who I like and who likes me in return. That's it. Why would I lead with the fact that they don't want me if it's irrelevant? Because them not liking me is not irrelevant. I can't very well go out with someone who doesn't want to with me. I was trying to say that none of w…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:43 PM
58

I would, but they don't want me. I would, but they don't want me. I would, but they don't want me. Not dating these women has nothing to do with ego or control, and everything to do with the fact that the answer is always no from them. I don't care about a woman's social standing, income, or if she's more intelligent than me. I just want someone who cares about me, so I can offer the same love and care in return.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 02:49 PM
3

It's hard to say which I'd prefer since ive never experienced anything like that. I know it would hurt a lot to learn that they don't really want me, or prefer another, but I don't see hating myself as a result. Instead, I would be focusing on the fact that something about me was good enough to at least be settled with. I could work with that and maybe improve further, or lean into whatever strength I have to find people that would want me. It's hard to explain if you've never experienced it, bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 04:06 PM
3

I find your examples rather confusing. "But you have your sanity and mental health intact." I'm a little confused by this. In this scenario if I am not picked, then I am alone forever? How does one maintain their sanity and mental health? I can say from experience it is very harmful to both. To know you are not worthy of anyone's love is very damaging. "and your confidence and self worth may be affected." More than being alone forever? How could someone choosing me, even if it's only settling, p…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 03:29 PM
3

What would advice wpuld you give to a guy with no female friends? I'm rather shy and haven't made any new friends since high-school. Expanding my social circle seems like the only way I'll ever find success, but I don't know how to. People always just tell me "go out" or "talk to more women", which I then follow with "ok, go out where? Where and when should I talk to these women?", which is met with "idk".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 01:47 PM
1

Where are these women who prefer it? I'd really love to meet them (and apparently, they'd love to meet me!)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 01:04 PM
1

I still don't really understand, but that's probably why I'm in this situation in the first place. Once again I'm going to give it a shot because there's no reason not to, but I would just like to clarify exactly what you are saying to do. Should I be more demanding about physical standards or personality standards or both? For instance, I absolutely love redheads and gingers. I think that hair color is stunningly beautiful. Should I state on my profiles/in interactions that I'm only looking for…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 05:08 PM
1

Again, I totally get what you're saying and it makes sense. But on the other hand, I feel like it's advice for guys who can already attract women. Using your job analogy, would that be a wise answer if it's the first applicant for the job in 3 years? What if this is your last applicant for the next 5 years? What if you get no more applicants at all? Would me being more brutal and relentless in my standards make me attractive to more women? If I can't even get one date to save my life, I don't un…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 04:51 PM
2

That all makes sense to me, but I also see lots of women complaining that guys just want casual relationships and won't commit. I would think being up front about wanting to commit and not just have "fun" would be what they want, but I don't know, maybe not. Regardless, I'm going to give what you said a try because why not. It's not like being upfront with my intentions has been working, so worse case scenario, nothing changes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 04:21 PM
2

I would love to try that. The problem is that even women I'm not crazy about don't want to date me either. Could part of it be that I always answer that I'm looking for something longterm when asked? Would women be more open to the idea of going on a few dates if I said I just wanted something short?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 03:51 PM
1

That would fall under the "she doesn't want to do it with me specifically" category, thus hurtful and not something I could do longterm. If she really loved me the way op describes, then I would hope she would be eager to show me what I'm doing wrong and work on getting better at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 03:22 PM
4

What would you say is the dating equivalent to starting "with a low pay and doing less important roles"? How should I go about getting that "low paying job"?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 03:20 PM
1

Ideal wife is a woman who loves me. I don't care who is the breadwinner
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 02:49 PM
3

Considering 2 times a year is already an abundance compared to my normal amount (none), I would choose love. Alough it would still depend on something not mentioned in the hypothetical, which is why it's only twice a year. As others have pointed out, if she really loves me, we would likely be having sex more than that. So I would pick it if I can assume her decision to abstain is not out of lack of lust for me. For instance, some kind of medical issue, trauma, religious reasons, or even some kin…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 09:12 PM
9

I would love it. Not so much for the flowers themselves, but to know she was thinking of me and cared enough to go out of her way to get them. The gesture itself would feel fantastic.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 04:08 PM
3

Never had any experience. Women don't seem to like me. I don't know if it's because of how look or something about my personality, but it's like any time I talk to them, they look like they'd rather be doing anything else. They don't seem put off or disgusting or anything, just bored. It's like my voice just drains enthusiasm from women. Doesn't happen with men, I get along fine with them, and sometimes they are eager to talk to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 04:04 PM
1

Thanks, I needed a good laugh! This post is hilarious! In the future, I would recommend not playing it up so much. The best troll posts are the ones that are believable, and when you lay it on so thick it's just obvious you're trolling. Still funny though 😆
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 04:40 PM
6

Wow, this sounds incredible! You mean that attractive women will actually approach me and do all the work? All I have to do is vet them and decide which one I like best? Sign me up, please!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 02:23 PM
1

No, not really. Had a couple of acquaintances in school while growing up, but we were never very close. I've always been a little awkward around women, especially at that age. To be honest, I would really like a platonic friendship with a woman, but I don't really know how to start one. Women aren't exactly the most warm and open around men they don't know, and most will probably think I'm trying to hit on them anyway. What is your recommendation for a 28y man to start some friendships with wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 01:43 PM
–

Can we please switch places? I'm the kind of guy who has never, and likely will never, be seen as a sexual being. Needless to say, it's a very cold and lonely existence knowing you are wanted by no one. I would gladly take unwanted advances if it meant people I liked thought of me as sexual too.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 06:28 AM
2

No, it was to see if you are consistent with your views. Which it seems you are, stangly enough. You actually think you just shouldn't trust what people say, even those you are trying to be close to. It's a very strange way of doing things to me, but you do you. I think people should mean what they say and say what they mean, not play mind games. Who cares who's fault it is? Ummm... you do? Do you remember saying "It's his fault"? That was you, not me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 04:51 PM
2

If I asked, begged and pleaded with my gf to shave her head bald, and when she does I break up because I don't like how she looks bald, is it not (at least somewhat) my fault for the breakup? I mean, had I not brought it up she would never have shaved her head, right? Is it her fault for believing the words of her bf? Should she have just known most men don't like bald women? In this scenario, I would say I'm responsible for the breakup because she did the thing I SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR. Accordi…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 04:33 PM
2

And people say men are the bad communicators, lol. How are you supposed to communicate with someone when there's a 50/50 chance they actually mean the opposite of what they say?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 04:22 PM
2

"That's why he's to blame" Yeah, how dare he not read her mind to know she really wants the opposite of what she said she wants? Like, duh! Just read her mind idiot!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 03:19 PM
3

It's going to be a case by case thing. I'm sure there are plenty of people who would lie for nefarious purposes, but I think it can also be them wanting you to like them by being into your interests, even if they really aren't. It's like how I am with my friends sometimes. One of my friends loves biker gang culture/history. Personally, I'm not super interested in that, but because I know he is, I might ask more questions or engage more in the conversation than I would normally. Because he's my f…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 05:20 PM
3

It's more about having someone actually want to pursue you. The idea of women trying to pursue me is a foreign concept. I have never experienced a woman doing this, so I would think it's sweet if someone met me and thought, "I really want to talk to him. Let me think of ways I can get him to like me". If anything, I would maybe think she's a little awkward or shy because she thought she needed these tactics to get closer to me, but it would not repel me at all. I guess it's just feels different …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 05:02 PM
3

I would be flattered a woman took the effort to even fake liking the stuff I did. If they actually liked me enough to come up with strategies to get with me, although unnecessary, would be really sweet and show me I mean a lot to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 02:09 PM
1

Don't get wrong. I have thought about that, and I was going to ask about it but we ran out of time. I may bring it up another time. She did sort of imply the breakup did not involve attraction. For all I know, he cheated or something, I really have no idea. It wasn't super relevant at the moment because we were focusing on just getting me to a point where a woman wants to go out with me. Baby steps and all that. If I just say, "Well, it didn't work out for them, so i have no hope," then I defini…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 06:24 PM
2

Well, I requested that I get an enlightened perfect human, but they were fresh out, so I had to settle for a normal human being. She doesn't just give relationship advice either, we talk about lots of stuff regarding confidence and social anxiety. At the very least, she's the first therapist that has acknowledged and understood the difficulties that come with constant rejection and a life of no intimacy. It feels like someone who actually listens and understands. I'm not saying she's infallible,…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 05:22 PM
2

Nope. In fact, I asked my therapist about that. She said that women have slightly different ways of attraction. She used herself as example, she said she was not attracted to her first husband when they first met via mutual friends , but over time she got attracted to how he acted and treated others. Obviously not every women is going to find their partner that way, or even feels attraction the same way, but it was the cas for her, and so probably is for others. Remember I was replying to someon…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 03:56 PM
1

Also, something I wanted to ask: What advice do you have for an inexperienced man who genuinely wants a relationship? Is it just over for these men? Is there literally no hope? Because that sounds like what you're saying...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 03:06 PM
2

Well, I agree. But according to a lot of people on here, lack of attention shouldn't be an issue at all (i disagree, of course). According to these people, attention and intimacy are not necessary to survive, so there should be no baggage at all from lack of attention/validation. I'm not saying you are one of these people, just that I'm curious how they square that round hole. If they truly believe its no big deal, then they must disagree that there would even be baggage. Or if they agree with y…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 02:52 PM
3

I'll be sure to tell her a rando on reddit said she's a idiot. I'm sure she'll change her whole perspective after hearing that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 02:43 PM
2

Emotional baggage from prolonged loneliness? But wait, I've seen plenty of women argue that being alone is no big deal, so why would they have baggage from something that shouldn't be affecting them in the first place?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 02:41 PM
3

You should have a chat with my therapist then. She has told me lots of women value personality over looks. She claims it's how she fell in love with her first husband. I mean, I find that hard to believe based on what I see, but she is adamant that is the case. Did she just lie to me or what?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 02:37 PM
1

What is your advice for guys who view women as equals, goes to therapy, but still struggles to get women interested?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 04:33 PM
1

I agree that objectification, as well as any form of de-humanization, is abhorrent. All I've ever wanted is a deep connection to a girl that really likes me, treat her how I would like to be treated, and to know what love feels like. It hurts to never have that, and very very distressing to think I never will. How do you think those who are not happy alone feel when they can't get the company they feel they need? If you expressed anguish over a lack of intimacy, don't you think it would be reall…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 03:33 PM
1

Ill try one more time. I'll use a different hypothetical. Would you live a happy, successful life with no human contact? None. Ever. You must live ever second of every day alone from now on? You ok with that? If your answer is no, then you MUST agree one needs more than just food, water, and air. Can we find common ground here?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 06:58 AM
1

I guess I'm not explaining it right. I'm not being literal, I'm posing a hypothetical to show you one needs more than food, water, and air as needs (which is what you said). If you NEEDED nothing else, you would be happy being vegetative, but you wouldn't be, sp you DO need more than food, water and air. Do you get it? I'm aware you can have a relationship without sex? I never implied otherwise. YOU are the one bringing sex into this. You keep assuming so much about me because of my radical beli…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 06:47 AM
–

Nope, thats not what I believe or what I asked. You said, "A need is something you need to survive". You can live on a feeding tube. So, by your own logic, you would need nothing else. Anything else is not critical for survival. Obviously such a life would be horrible, but I'm trying to illustrate a point. Just because something is not 100% necessary for survival doesn't mean you don't need it to live a happy normal life. And yes, relationships are one of those things for most people.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 06:26 AM
–

Would you he OK existing on a feeding/breathing tube, unable to move, speak, or interact in the world in any way? I mean, you don't need anything else to survive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 12:16 AM
0

People don't need friends, or family, or fun, or laughter, or all your limbs to survive, but I think we can agree that living without one of those would make life a lot harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 05:16 PM
–

I can relate to that as a late bloomer myself. Well, I guess I'm not technically a late bloomer as I have yet to bloom, so to speak. I hope that op was just rage baiting and doesn't actually believe what they said. If they do, then that just sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 05:04 PM
–

Don't get me wrong, I agree and have no problem with late bloomer women. I was just curious about what the op would think about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 04:38 PM
–

What about late bloomer women? Should we ignore and shun them as well? They would share most of these traits, would they not?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 01:58 PM
–

Ah yes, the classic incel fantasy of wanting your partner to be attracted to you... sure hope none of your partners have been attracted to you, that might make you an incel, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 04:49 PM
4

So as long as I offer some possible solutions, I can be as big an ass as I want? Just trying to figure out the rules here
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 02:48 PM
4

If I were to hop on a depression board and post something like "why can't you people stop complaining and just improve yourself?" I did, and my life is way better!", and then when people get triggered say, "I love how triggered these people get, lol"", would you think I'm invested in helping them, or that I'm being a bit of an asshole?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 02:42 PM
3

Using what as an excuse? I'm just calling out someone saying something really assholeish, that's all. Not an excuse or a life hack for anything. Never said it was...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 02:27 PM
3

I still don't think you see the contradiction, but whatever. I have to actually go to work now (which unfortunately for me does not include reddit, lol). Enjoy your trolling or whatever this is. I hope it does something for ya, cuz I don't understand it. But you do you I guess
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 01:26 PM
3

You said "I just get paid to do nothing sometimes". You also said "should I be able to sleep in not work and make money?" As a point to that other guy. My point is that these two statements seem to contradict. According to you, yes, sometimes you can expect to be paid for doing nothing
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 01:19 PM
3

I work a 9-5 office job :) maybe you could have asked instead of just assuming everything about me? And from my experience working in an office, I can't be working AND on reddit at the same time. Unless you've found a strategy I'm unaware of, you must be taking time out of working to be on reddit? Meaning you're being paid to do nothing?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 01:10 PM
7

But wait, you do do that? In another comment you said you make all these posts while you're getting paid to do nothing at work. So it sounds like you DO expect results from doing nothing...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 12:38 PM
5

How helpful. Yes, it's easy to trigger emotionally vulnerable, depressed people. What's your point? Do you want a medal for figuring out you can hurt vulnerable people?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 12:29 PM
1

Well, all I can really say is I wish more women thought like that. Them seem rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 07:25 PM
1

What you described is exactly what I'm looking for. And yes they might not be interested in tons of experience, but NO experience? Even you just now said you prefer less experience, but not none.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 04:06 PM
2

In what context is unintuitivness or social awkwardness good?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 04:04 PM
1

I would just say I don't want to talk about my past relationships yet, but I have had them. That would not be a lie. Guess I'm just really confused as to why inexperience is a hard deal breaker. Everyone always says losing your virginity doesn't matter much, and you're still the same person after you've lost it. While this is true, it seems really important to women, even tho I'm literally the same person with the same personality, with or without a v card. The fact that this "problem" can be oh…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 03:59 PM
1

I'm really confused by what you said at the end there. You say they "aren't necessarily bad or good," but are they not? If they were good traits, why is it so rare to be attracted to them? Seems to me, given everything you've laid out here, that they are in fact bad traits. If I want to attract people, and these traits are unattractive, they are bad traits, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 03:48 PM
2

What I'm saying is yes the lie will likely ruin that initial relationship, but now the next time you are in that situation, you don't need to lie, because you have had experience. Assuming you'll always be rejected when your inexperience comes to light, what alternative do you propose? Also, does one lie mean you're treating your partner like shit? I mean, lying isn't good and should be avoided generally, but I think it takes a little more to say you "treat them like shit"?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 03:36 PM
2

Lying about it could lead to experience, so you won't have to lie about it anymore in the future.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 02:08 PM
–

No, some of us just want someone to be with and talk to when we get home from work
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 05:09 PM
5

OK fair enough. I find it embarrassing to be told I'm not good enough. If it's someone in a social circle I'm a part of, I find it embarrassing because they will tell their friends and may mock me. I find it embarrassing to be laughed at or mocked (which has been rare). I find it embarrassing to know I've bothered or creeped someone out. I find it embarrassing to have to admit to my friends I struck out yet again. I find it embarrassing to fail at something most people can do. How do you not fee…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 10:32 PM
6

Why is rejection embarrassing? Are you trolling?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 10:16 PM
8

Very introverted and shy, yes. I used to be able to psyche myself up to some degree, but I haven't been able to in a while. I feel pretty defeated after nothing but failures. "Why go and embarrass myself when she's just going to say no?" Is what goes through my head now.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 08:57 PM
10

Admittedly, it's been a while since I have in person. I stopped because wveryone said no. I've tried online/dating apps with no luck. I just don't think I'm the type that excites women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 08:48 PM
26

I'd love to, it sounds like fun! But, in order to go on dates with people I find attractive, a woman has to agree to go with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 08:44 PM
4

My theory is that it is a defense mechanism. The idea that there are people who, for one reason or another outside their control, will never experience love and affection is frightening and depressing, and so some may try to rationalize that they must be bad people for such a horrible fate. It's far more comforting to believe bad people are getting their just desserts than the reality that some people are just really unlucky and there's nothing anyone can do to help them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 05:57 PM
6

Don't worry, I think I have realistic expectations. I know I'm not much in the looks department, so I won't be expecting a lot. Besides, I'm not very picky when it comes to looks. I think my problem is more my shyness. Feels like my whole life has been a vicious cycle of being too shy to approach or say what I want, which lowers my confidence, which makes me more shy, which lowers my confidence, ect. I'm fine when I'm around people I know, I have very close friends I get alone really well with. …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 11:58 PM
15

Please dm me if you're serious. I would be very interested in something like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 10:27 PM
3

Could you elaborate on that a little? Maybe it's just my social anxiety, but I really feel like just approaching random women and saying hi won't work out too well. I would think they would think it's abnormal and might make them uncomfortable. Maybe that's more normal in school, but what about other settings? And even if they are comfortable and it's going well, how should one take the next step to see them again without coming off as trying to get a date with them?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 05:33 PM
–

My whole issue was the framing that this is winning. If escaping into a virtual world is preferable to real life, you are not winning.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 08:18 PM
3

In the example I responded to, you would know you are "in the matrix". Could you be happy KNOWING you're in a fake reality? I mean if you could, more power to you, but I couldn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 04:42 PM
–

So because we don't know for sure, just fuck it? Dam, I never know people actually unironically agree with Cypher
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 04:40 PM
2

No, our senses tell us about reality. Our senses do not create reality. Unless you're a solipsist, but I am not.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 04:33 PM
1

Wait, so you actually would agree with Cypher, and just I've in the matrix? It wouldn't bother you to know that nothing around you is real?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 04:09 PM
–

You really think sitting in your room all day surrounded by virtual worlds, without any real-life affection or intimacy, is winning? Being dead inside doesn't sound like winning to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 02:09 PM
–

OK this is going to sound weird, but how should one go about joining an online group? I've been told by multiple people that that's how I should try to meet people, but I don't use much social media, so I don't really know where to start. Which platform would be best to find these groups, and what do I do exactly when I'm in a group?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 02:47 PM
2

I've been alone my entire life (27M). As for bottom of the barrel traits, for physical I really don't care. If they are into me and want to be around me I'm willing to give almost anyone a chance in that area. Obviously i would prefer someone im at least a little attracted to, but at this point, I'd be willing to try just about anyone. As for social, my only barrier right now would be if I had reason to believe she was dangerous or a sociopath.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 06:14 PM
4

I mean, "anyone" would be a bit hyperbolic. Like, I wouldn't want to be with a murderer or a meth head, but besides some crazy extreme like that, I would basically take anyone at this point. Being alone for your whole life does some shit to your brain. It's hard to explain, but yes when you've gone long enough with no one taking interest you, you start to want anything, just prove it's still possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 02:57 PM
2

I agree there is a difference between value to society and how people personally value you. Yes, the person who cured cancer but is hated to be around is useful to society, but that doesn't change the fact that people don't value them as a person. If they did, they would want to be around them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 05:38 PM
3

Dating itself does not add value, however people wanting to date you does. I can't say this for sure, but I imagine people would want to be around the person who cured cancer. If no one wants to be with you, doesn't that say something about your value?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 05:10 PM
9

If there's a person who no one wants to date, do they not inherently have lower value than someone who is wanted? I mean, if they had value people would date them, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 04:27 PM
3

It has a lot to do with hope. When someone has 100 bad suitors, they at least know that it's possible for others to find them attractive. And if it's possible, then one day a suitable suitor may find them attractive. But with zero suitors, there is no hope. How can a suitable suitor ever find you attractive if NO ONE finds you attractive? So the question really becomes, would you rather live with hope, or with no hope? I think it's a little absurd to say living with hope and without hope are the…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 02:42 PM
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