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MaleficentZebra4166 Archive

View 0 posts and 40 comments by MaleficentZebra4166 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Quite similar to mine actually, especially the 'picky about job', kinda ashamed in bed, also anxiety and depression, but that she controlled well. It really bothered me was the excessive control, I think all marriages are like that, like you completely lose your freedom, become distant from friends, you hide in some man-cave, fake to other ppl everything is perfect, but at home, walking on egg shells. If you follow all their desired you become a light pole. Then they hate you because you are a l…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/26 05:41 PM
6

There won't be accountability as she thinks it's not her fault, remember, it's always your fault. All what you are doing, you brain got a lot of empty space so it's normal, the sentimental part of the brain ends up in the logic part and vice versa, that's why all the confusion, only really time will re-adjust that. I had had many pizzas for like 10 years, got to 100kg, wanted a diet, and made it. Now down to 73, id didn't happen in a week, more like months to years. Sounds rough but it is what i…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/26 08:14 AM
10

There is no enough. The moment you do what they request, this is the new normal, not you doing something nice anymore, up to the next, and so on and on and on until there's nothing left. You can see even super rich get divorced, those in theory can give them whatever they want.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/26 08:08 AM
3

Here to, I noticed in time, or whatever god helped me. She really had a massive vengeance in her sleeve, it's really unbelievable how far they can go.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/26 08:05 AM
3

You do way more then I was doing, I still did fix the main thinks she complained about. I don't think it is about how much you do. It looks quite similar to what it was at home, mine still kinda 'faked' that she cared about me, but after 13 years together I could see it was not real anymore, it was really minimal, and then basically she could not accept anything from me anymore, like gifts, compliments, walk hand in hand. From me she just wanted one think: I needed to be problematic, the one cau…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 01:08 PM
4

It's impressive how they are equal. Digging old stories. Facts that happened many many years back. They list a lot of stuff you don't do. Then you do it, you fix it all. Doesn't matter, what matters is you didn't do in the past. Some kid traumas. Mine had traumas from her mother saying stuff that she carries for life, dunno how much true it is or ifs just useful arguments that can be randomly thrown. Using intimacy to get what they want. Never being happy, no matter what you do. You become a zom…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 12:20 PM
2

Oh c'mon she was a red flag with legs, you dodged a bullet, I know it's hard to hear it now, the way you describe it you did your part, you cannot blame yourself for it. I had kinda similar scenario, her mother liked me a lot but would never mind if her daughter returns home, so via whatsap video calls they where constantly finding problems in my behavior, those small cracks grow more and more until there is no relation anymore. But that's usually for longer relations, they come up with stories …
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 08:13 AM
2

My ex never wanted children, I was like, well if it happens it happens, I probably would have been happy. but she did not want, so I was kinda, it looked pointless to be married as she had checked out, you feel for losing the company, but that's probably about it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 09:28 AM
0

Stay strong, your thoughts are withing specifications, after so much time and suddenly there is a big empty space in the brain, those thoughts will inevitable pass there. I'm now week 4 I think, after 13 years, it's very lonely, quiet, sometimes sad, then memories come up, the good times are all the time displayed, it is a long process to recover, I know I have many months ahead of me, but I try to analyze it, most of the time without much success, but I wait, that I can do, accept, and wait for…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 07:29 PM
2

You are not the only, you are playing safe. I call it 'reloading', as in, reloading the trauma, and honestly, for now and probably some more time I don't want that gun reloaded.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 07:22 AM
1

I think I kinda can feel it. After 13 years together, finally we achieved our biggest dream, we did all together, basically traveled the world and where now living in our dream country. The she started to distance herself, I could feel it, probably as well did see greener grass, there was nothing I could do, I was just the ugly frog. We ended it, I wanted because I could not live like this anymore, she basically was using me until she gets a job then she would leave anyway, she's back to her par…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 04:35 PM
1

Once they start talking bad about the husband to the her mother it's a first very bad step, they retro-feed themselves and still act they love you and all is fine. My wife was doing that, I allowed it for a few months because it also seemed to calm her down, until I found out there was nothing I could do, no matter what I did, she always had something to complain to her mother, eventually the mother came to me telling I need to help at home, do dishes and so on... like how would she knew anythin…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 08:34 AM
2

I did try to fix for about 14 months, but mainly I wanted to be sure I was not taking a wrong decision, on those 14 months it just got worse, she drifted more and more, I was married but never felt so lone before, all the 'Can't do" of a marriage with basically no benefit, In the end indeed, I actually felt more like a tool to her and she definitively would have moved out as soon as she gets a job, probably move in with another guy and blame me for X reasons, fortunately I did not allow that to …
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/26 03:25 PM
6

She lost the admiration she at for me, I tried to find out why and fix, which made look even more boring making her lose more admiration, she was already monkey branching. She transformed me in her, the more I became her the less she liked me. Honestly, once admiration is gone it's over, you may may stretch a few more years or the rest of your life, but it's probably a miserable situation, even if the person has the ability to paint it otherwise to the outside, the real life/situation is when th…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/26 01:57 PM
4

You being like this is expected, nothing out of normality, it will get better, for now, accept it, let the time pass, you will get better. The brain got a big empty space and the logic and sentimental parts get berserk, like everyone says here, there is only way to fix it, and it's probably the one we like less: time, you have to wait, just stay strong, you are in command, don't let you brain fk around to much, it will anyway, but like said, it's normal, you get better, one day after the other, …
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 08:05 PM
1

Trust the gut feeling, I did and after challenging her it was down hill. 1.5 years, I know you have the kid. But I was probably having it monthly and felt abandoned, she was emotionally disconnected, I was just a tool for her 'new nice 'live. I'm feeling better now, in control of my life again.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 09:05 AM
2

I get that her may not like you being close to your ex, probably feels you never left there fully for the new wife. Marriage is that, there is always something that grows and grows over the years, it's not that it grows, but life stabilizes, not so much emotion anymore and small stuff suddenly looks like big monsters, I hardly believe there is any marriage with 10+ years that both still fully happy. Yeah, you feeling bad about her I think it's part of it, this mainly on the beginning, it settles…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 08:59 AM
1

What do you think Incompatibility, communication issues, not feeling supported, feeling disrespected, growing apart means?
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/26 12:21 PM
6

Yeah, same here, once I noticed the 'flags' some 12 months ago and paying attention to these there was probably no turning point (and I tried those 12), at one point she thought she was pregnant, then I commented if true I would required DNA test, she basically said 'Oh really'.. she had something in store for me, thanks god I was able to find other signals that ultimately caused divorce. It will cease to impress me how they can to that to a person that basically changed their life to heights sh…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/26 08:09 AM
7

Also, once living together you will know her not-in_vacation-mode, after a few months some initial complains, which evolve, then soon she also weaponizes sex to get what she wants, usual marriage drill, keep that in mind to reinforce your goal of not living together. There is one woman before and one after marriage, living together is pretty much marriage, maybe a little bit less traumatic since you still can easily run away.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/26 12:18 PM
5

I'm also beginning of week 3, brain doesn't want to leave me alone. Hot Saturdays doesn't help a lot, not much todo, but I know what it is, I know it will be better, just have to endure it. And I will. And I will leave this better.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/26 06:39 PM
1

Neither I. I can't understand. The only think I can think (but talking on my case) that she is dumb, because it doesn't make any sense to trow so many years(13) together away, or at least not thinking on the consequences that those actions would have, it crashes my mind, but I have to move on, I feel betrayed yet the sentimental part of the brain only thinks on the good times, not that she changed, I tried to fix, that stressed her even more and so on, spiral of relation death... Mine got a lot …
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/26 05:42 PM
2

yeah... once the mask falls you see what they are, it is impressive how long they can carry this, for the other dude she is again another version, but he will also see her when that mask also falls, but at time you probably will be in your own life, with your own stuff, wont even care, as it should. :)
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/26 03:56 PM
5

Also, make your place your place again, whatever sometime she changed that you don't liked, go, do it your way. It probably was best this way, it would have gone just worse and worse, it was my case and I feel free now, I do whatever I want now, it sucks, but it's not the end, just a new beginning, that may be even better, you probably can't agree now, but you will later, so hang on there. Ah BTW, I also trusted, blindly, very similar to you, I mean not to that length, but I never minded her lon…
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/26 09:31 AM
2

After 10 years together you notice even the subtlest of signals, that may indicate some changes are happening. In my case: She never did take pictures, suddenly on a bike ride on a Sunday she was making a lot of random pictures, in the past it would have been selfies with me, this time not, I noticed, made no big deal, was just off. That same day we went for dinner, for whatever reason she suggested the nearby city, which was also odd, she never really was into cities or whatever suddenly she ha…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/26 10:12 AM
2

I think she is emotionally disconnected, kinda happened to me, I tried similar techniques like the one you did. I remember in the past if I slept or tried to sleep 1 night in the sofa she probably would not be able to sleep alone. When I noticed her change I also wanted to see if shed miss me, went to the sofa in another room, sleep there, moved my PC to the same room and basically lived there 1 month, nothing from her. Next, vacations, another country, each at his own family houses, almost 2 mo…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 03:56 PM
1

Have a very calm conversation, expose the facts. Keep in mind, if you tell her you have even considered leaving she will store this and use it against you at some point in the future, it may even make it worse now. The think is the truth is the only way. This probably will reset the process for a few weeks, you may be back to the hole in the future, extremely difficult keep a woman happy, should not be the husband obligation to keep her happy, we try anyway and fail, we all.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 11:51 AM
3

Mine additionally was vindictive (I think they all are), I think in the end I got lucky to get out at the right time (10 days ago) because I believe she had a master plan that would crush me.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 09:33 PM
1

I did read it to, maybe watch a few of these videos: https://www.youtube.com/@john-griffin What you listed is basically how it is nowadays, I had kinda similar experience, it was amazing for 11 years, then that 1 one year she disconnected from me - keep the bare minimal to keep me around, new friends at the gym and I felt abandoned, very close to depression, I was miserable, she made a small mistake, not so horrible (giving a gift to the mother of a gym friend - that's what I know, it may be mor…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 10:59 AM
2

bogs me how can they lie to your face like this, had a similar experience of lie on the face while I was 100% sure it was a lie, I don't think a relation can move forward when this happens, the person you trust does something on your back and still can lie about it later face on. I'm single now anyway, but again, still bogs me how they can lie this way to a person that went above and beyond for them.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/26 02:35 PM
1

For me what, well I think, works is getting rid of visible memories, the less you get triggered the better, I even went trough the home and moved every think a little bit, so now I was the last one touching it, call me crazy. Also, specific photos with her moved away to hard to reach backups, did laundry on my own, removed old clothing that I don't use anymore o to rarely, take all garbage out, unclutter the house - make it more man style, as in, changed curtains to new ones I bought, got rid of…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/26 08:40 AM
2

I'm in a foreign country, at 44 after a 13 marriage. Now single for 6 days, I think my relation was so toxic, all the time she was complaining about something, I had to calculate each move, anything from me to her she usually didn't want to see, as If I'm not allowed to make her happy. So few days and I'm already starting to see the light. Rather alone then become something that you are not just to feed a monster that's always hungry, urgh, I don't miss that. Every time my brain came up with pas…
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 03:05 PM
3

she probably thinks you are bluffing (experience from mine), and when she get the papers she likely will get a shock and very fast convert it to anger.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 01:50 PM
1

It's actually more like 'impressive', that has to be some kind of skill where they can switch instantaneously from love to hate.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 08:20 AM
1

This moment is quite stressful for the brain as it it brings finality and all the connections the brain created during the years will be lost, get ready, it is rough, very, but it is normal, brain hates going out of comfort and will have all kinds of strong tricks to not lose it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/26 10:29 PM
1

Prepare mentally, it will be much worse than you can anticipate, it is normal, brain goes brrrrrrrrrrr What I would do? I actually don't know, - I just separated after 13 years last Friday and it is really not a good experience. I still feel guilt. I think both this relations will fail, current wife eventually will have some kind of revenge, that's how women are, and the 24y one likes to be disputed, once this is over or once you are all hers it will stabilize for some time and then start to loo…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/26 06:08 PM
2

oh yeah, on the eyes of the family of the X we all are or will be disrespectful AHs.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/26 03:22 PM
6

"She took my kindness for weakness" same here. Once they enter a line of thinking of whatever they hardly come back, also usually extremely stubborn, they may go back to level 0 of their lives, loose everything but doesn't matter, they have some kind of tunnel vision and are unbeatable on this. But, they are not immune to time, when you start moving again only then they will analyze it properly, usually to late for them.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/26 08:32 AM
3

I had the impression it was going the same way with the wife, basically waiting to find a job, if she gets one I'm pretty sure she would leave in less than 3 months. She even had the audacity to ask if she could stay around until she gets a job, wtf, please let me find a job so i can live with my new nr1 .........
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 06:51 PM
3

Why they all do this, subconsciously try to run the guy off with attitudes, disrespect, bad home energy, secrets, they still do the minimal to look not so blatant, I think they want to call it they want you to call it so they don't have to carry the responsibility.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 06:21 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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