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Miserable_Dare_5958 Archive

View 7 posts and 78 comments by Miserable_Dare_5958 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Then probably an authorized user? Her name is on the card, but it draws from my account that i contribute to. She never added a penny and buys hand bags and shoes with her job income.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/26 01:34 AM
1

I added her as a dependent to the card. But before she would always give a heads up before making a purchase. I have a high deductible.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/26 01:29 AM
1

currently married.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/26 01:23 AM
2

I'm so sorry bro. Time to speak to a lawyer?
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/26 10:32 PM
4

That is f*ked up bro. I'm so sorry that you and men in general have the f*cking cards stacked against us in family court.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/26 09:07 PM
1

Sorry bro. Do you get a chance to prove your innocence?
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/26 08:18 PM
2

Thank you. I added a lock yesterday night. She tried to enter my private room at 3am but failed. There is also a barricade, door sensor, and 4 cameras now in that room. Since she failed getting in, she blasted the TV for an hour at 3am (it's recorded, along with a sound meter reading). It will be hard for the courts to look the other way when i present my evidence in court. Thanks for the tips on getting valuables safely stored elsewhere. I rented a storage place to use as my storage and staging…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/26 04:33 PM
3

i was a coward. but now i grew a spine thanks to studying state and federal laws. there is a treasure trove of evidence waiting to be released.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/26 06:16 AM
1

Thank you. I'm in a no fault state. So I am covered. I won't clean up after her dog poop and garbage and stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/26 02:35 AM
4

Thank you for this. It all makes sense now. I'll let her puppy poop, dishes, boxes, and garbage pile up. I'll take care of only my stuff. I am thankful to her for increasing my endurance and enabling me to spot BS and abuse a mile away now.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/26 01:29 AM
2

i can't afford to rent another place while i am paying 90% of bills, including the current mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 11:58 PM
1

Thank you so much. I am definitely a spineless prisoner in my own home. I will focus on my health and safety first. Next, I will work on documentation, evidence, and expenses so I can make a strategic exit with an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 11:48 PM
0

no divorce yet. just compiling 1 year of evidence and then deciding on next steps. i really need a break from doing the house work when i am sick. and will probably just stop because i discovered all the lies of the spouse.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 11:28 PM
0

she told a lie and said some of the expenses were higher than they actually were. i did an audit to discover this. she went scorched earth after the audit. but if i don't pay, both of our credit will take a hit.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 11:26 PM
6

10 years erased in a matter of months. I discovered her real self. I unraveled all of her BS. I can't un-see any of that now. Time for a strategic exit.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 09:43 PM
2

WTF. i hope she doesn't get support.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 08:10 PM
1

I am in a similar boat. I lived frugally before marrying the spouse. Just started the divorce process. I buy groceries and items only when on sale. I hunt for coupons. On the rare occasion of eating outside, I only do so at a restaurant that has app coupons. Plan your meals ahead of time based on sale items. Start tracking your expenses if you haven't done so already. Cut any unneeded subscriptions. For any required subs, do an annual plan to save a little here and there. I will try the donating…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 08:09 PM
2

I'm glad the Zoloft and therapy is working for you. I will ask my doctor as well about those. Is it covered or subsidized by your employer or insurance? Keep up with the progress. I will do more therapy for sure. I agree with being careful with advisors. I already cut off one person, who happened to be a Christian leader. He mocked the abuse I was experiencing. He didn't want to hear my shit and told me to speak to others. I may also cut off another Christian acquaintance who doesn't respect bou…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 07:10 PM
1

So sorry for what you went through. You are strong and courageous for surviving all of that. How are holding up with the therapy? Are you on any meds for the anxiety? Does CBT help for the anxiety? I can relate to the gaslighting, projection, and emotional abuse. Nothing physical yet, but if the trend continues, I will get physically assaulted soon. I am seeing non-religious counselors, and Christian advisors. I will keep at it until I am free and healed. Thank you so much.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 12:27 AM
1

I don't recall the last time we agreed to anything. It's always been her way or the highway. She's treating me with extreme contempt. She can't negotiate in good faith. But I think she might sing a different tune once she finds out the cost of an email or phone call via her lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 11:26 PM
1

I'm so sorry about the silver bullet divorce. Do you have a lawyer yet? I am just learning as I go. This is what i have so far. For the kids - weekend trips and family trips - photos - church events, sports events, school events - haircuts, medical appointments - parent / teacher meetings For the harassment - thrown items - foul language - loud noise after midnight - threats to take kids away - threats to sell our car and home - removing nanny cams
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 09:06 PM
2

Yes, it's too expensive to let the lawyer handle everything. I want the lawyer just to do oral arguments and strategy. I can handle mundane emails and administrative work.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 08:13 PM
1

I'm glad you get along with your spouse. We don't get along. It's worse than hatred at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 07:53 PM
3

Thank you. The lawyer said the same thing. Communicate only via email. Don't get baited into yelling or worse.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 07:50 PM
6

I am so happy for you brother. Keep it up.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 07:29 PM
2

We both love our jobs. I love my work and my team so much that even when I was not experiencing abuse, I still go to the office 7 days a week.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 09:21 PM
1

I am glad to hear you can walk freely in your home on some days. The van and the Black Card at PF are such a huge blessing! Is the wife dragging her feet or making the division of assets unnecessarily difficult? Is this mediation or the actual trial? I'm still in the very early stages. I want the court to give her a rebuke of her harassing behavior towards me.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 03:07 PM
1

I think you will get 50/50. Do you have any journal logs or evidence if the spouse mistreated you or the kids? Do you have a journal logs or evidence that you weee a good husband and father? are neighbors or neutral witnesses able to vouch for your character? Be careful of spouses where their side of the family may lie to get a restraining order against you or try to get custody of the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 06:43 AM
1

When I went to several paid consults this year, all lawyers asked me if I left the home. Depending on your state, it may be frowned upon or it may hurt you if you left the marital home. I live in my car or office out of necessity a few days a month because the spouse makes loud noise on purpose
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 05:40 AM
7

I decided it was enough when the spouse treats me with contempt, by default. she gaslights and projects. she dismisses all my sacrifices. all the impossible tasks I complete for us only buys a few days/weeks of peace before the next impossible task comes. she lies. she committed financial infidelity. all the problems and failures are my fault. but anything good is because of her. she is a despicable human being.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 03:18 AM
3

Now that you know the truth, it's time to start planning a strategic exit. I think the second you are not useful in her eyes, you will be discarded. I know it's super hard and your life and your kids lives will be upended and temporarily sent into chaos, but you need to get out.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 03:15 AM
1

Why do you have to move out? Did the spouse file a temp restraining order or exclusive use of the marital home? Is she abusing or harassing you?
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 03:11 AM
2

Sorry brother. It is time to make a strategic exit. It's not worth saving this marriage. Time to move on. Have you started seeing a counselor? Please prioritize your physical and mental health. Also if you haven't already, please speak to a family lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 03:07 AM
4

Doing paid consults with a few family law attorney's is your best bet. It may range from 200-450 an hour. The free consults are largely useless. The family laws are specific for each state.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 03:02 AM
1

I just wanted to add that I can't stack any more boxes in my office without raising any additional scrutiny or attention. (I don't know for how much longer staff will turn a blind eye to me living and storing stuff at work, but when there is a public safety risk, people may complain). And also my car is stuffed to the absolute maximum. So I may need to rent some storage space temporarily soon. There are still some items in my home that the spouse has guarded with security cameras (but she has no…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 02:38 AM
2

Thank you brother. Your positivity and kindness are much appreciated. I owe it to this community and to YouTube for getting me through the hardest parts, when even half of my own church neglected me. I'm going to keep paying it back to my community once this nightmare is over in 1-2 years.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/26 10:16 PM
1

Thank you. The office is actually quite comfortable. There was also a domestic violence shelter and my manager's house. I almost took my manager's offer, but he already did so much for me and I didn't want to burden him any further.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/26 09:24 PM
2

I am glad you are divorced and living a more delightful life now. I would have called the cops, but it hasn't turned violent yet. The POS is very discreet and covert in her abuse and harassment. But it's all documented now.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/26 09:23 PM
1

Were you required by law to release the number, or did you do out of good will?
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/26 03:53 AM
2

Thanks. My phone is unlocked. I'll try porting, but have the backup plan of getting a new number.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/26 03:51 AM
7

Congrats bro on keeping the home and the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/26 03:50 AM
1

Young man, don't get married without a prenup. Actually don't get married unless the woman has equal or greater wealth than you and has great personality and looks. The person you knew when she was a girlfriend, is not the same person as your wife. Sex is men's Achilles heel.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/26 01:53 AM
1

this is so true. my spouse complains the loudest, but you know what the problem is her. it's always been here, and it always will be here. full of BS, lazy, ungrateful POS
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/26 01:44 AM
2

Thanks to AI, Tik Tok, Facebook, IG, etc. nothing will ever be enough for some women.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/26 01:42 AM
5

i read similar kinds of books. while they make a good point, i think women are the issue if men sacrifice everything for them, and women don't appreciate but take it for granted. you know what, i don't need a women anymore. f*ck it. i can build so many things and enjoy so many things and accomplish so much without the BS of a narcissist women holding me back.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/26 01:40 AM
2

Good luck with lawyer search. I did 4 paid consults already.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/26 12:43 AM
7

I think social media and greed has turned some women into what they are now. But I still believe that there are good women out there. It's just becoming less, I think, because of social media and greed. If a women can't achieve financial success on their own, they will try to take it from a guy through the wealth transfer system in the US/UK/Canada, also known as western marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/26 10:00 PM
3

WTF bro! We all married the same woman. Everything is spot on identical. It's like these women worship the same same God (or Demon). or they studied from the same playbook (it's quite possible because she spends hours a day on social media instead of doing something productive. I hope you found a good lawyer and started strategizing on a safe exit. your spouse will use your baby as a pawn against you. You will be paying support payments until the baby is an adult. Keep fighting the good fight.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/26 09:54 PM
22

- Every sacrifice I made was dismissed. - Everything that was wrong in the relationship is my fault. - Everything that is good in the relationship is a direct result of her genius mind and hard work - I pay 3X - 4X the bills while not even making 2X of the spouse, and the spouse insists it is 50/50 - She lies about finances, hides her finances - The goalposts keep moving every year - It's my fault the spouse is lazy, unmotivated, overweight, unemployed for 6+ months - Every time I achieved an im…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/26 08:55 PM
2

Thanks. I will start looking for a new carrier. Even if required by law to allow me to transfer my number, the spouse will drag her feet as long as possible to inflict maximum inconvenience. I bought the phone this year at the Apple store (iPhone 17) which supports multiple e-sims.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 11:50 PM
2

Thanks. But I confirmed with multiple attorneys that borrowing from my own retirement for legal fees is fine before the divorce gets served.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 07:52 PM
1

That is smart. Genius. You did a lot of research and homework, well done! I'm glad the stock price tanked on the spouse, but it dropped on you as well. I am at 5 consults and retained someone now. I will try to use the lawyer only for oral arguments and strategy, and use the free lawyers from my state and federal domestic violence resources for other things. I'll also try to do as much of the admin work on my own.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 07:25 PM
1

Thank you for sharing. I'm glad you had backup and happy that you are free now and rebuilding your life.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 07:20 PM
2

thank you bro. yes, I am highly considering the 401K loan, or asking my parents for help (if they have capacity).
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 07:18 PM
2

I am glad you are out now and starting over. i'll decide soon in the coming days how to pay the lawyer. I don't like the marital home, but the home just dropped 100K less than 1 year after buying it. the spouse will play dirty during the home sale, so I would like to sell it on my own terms if she will take a buy out (she payed only 20%)
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 07:18 PM
1

That's awesome bro that you had your own savings account. I think men fight an uphill battle in divorce, especially if the man earns more, or if the couple have kids (which I don't).
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 06:57 PM
2

I have a marital home and pre-marital home. But I have no savings. I may ask for parental help or take a loan from my 401K.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 06:54 PM
1

That is so good of you, but very low of them.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 03:08 PM
2

I'm so sorry to hear she will get 400k+ AND alimony. Were you earning a lot more than her, or was she not working? I am glad you get to keep the house (but that was yours to begin with). Can you regain your losses through work and investments? How is your physical and mental health? You can't put a price on freedom and happiness...
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 02:20 AM
1

Is your lawyer doing a good job? Have you considered getting a 2nd or 3rd opinion? What time frame did the lawyer initially estimate for your case? My spouse is a covert narcissist. I just retained a lawyer. Lawyer estimated 1 year.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 01:47 AM
5

I think you did pretty well. The most important thing is you have your peace and freedom now. Rebuild your life to be better than then ever. I don't have kids either. Bought my 1st home around 2017, married in 2023, and we bought a home jointly in 2025 (but I paid the vast majority of down-payment and bills). Fortunately I listened to a lawyer and added close family to the deed of the 1st home before the 2023 marriage. (spouse doesn't know this). No co-mingled accounts. Was it easy to get the RO…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 01:39 AM
2

Amen bro. This is the truth!
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 01:24 AM
3

I went to movies and restaurant alone before marriage, and it was honestly some of the best days of my life. I can't wait to get back to those times, in 1 - 1.5 years when this hell is over. But it would feel uncomfortable if I saw my ex or her family at the same restaurant or event. Just wear sunglasses and try to ignore them.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 01:23 AM
1

Thanks for sharing brother. I am preparing for WW3, but am hoping for a peaceful resolution. I am anticipating being attacked every night I go home and every morning I when go to work. It's so freaking exhausting. But in a year or 2, this will all pass. F*cking prepare like hell and trust that God and my inner circle have my back in case I fall. Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 02:41 AM
1

Borrow money from your 401K or get a line of credit or a loan. It will be worth the investment.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 02:31 AM
1

Don't speak to her privately. Your lawyer must be present when you speak. She is trying to bait you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 02:26 AM
2

You are doing the right thing for your kids and for yourself. I'm sorry. your spouse is not acting in your best interests, I'm afraid. I'm also afraid that your spouse is the evil one.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 02:24 AM
4

This is so beautiful and encouraging. Even if my spouse takes and an arm and a leg, they can be regrown
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 12:50 AM
1

Great work bro. You are living the dream (or the American dream if you are in the US). Keep living the best version of your life and thanks for your encouragement and positivity.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/26 10:10 PM
1

How about going on the trip, and then starting the process of a strategic exit afterwards? You and I are on the same timeline and we both get used.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/26 03:27 AM
1

I'm so sorry you went through all that. What did she end up getting?
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/26 03:22 AM
1

I think it's social media for sure (TikTok, IG, Facebook. She spends hours on those apps daily). But also my counselor said it matches a covert narcissist personality disorder. This woman on YouTube describes it perfectly. https://www.youtube.com/@jillwisecoaching
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/26 03:20 AM
4

F*ck, I think we all married the same woman. It's exactly what I am going through.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 08:50 PM
1

I just retained a lawyer today, and there may be a long way to go if it gets contested, and I've already planned out a response to every scenario. But what i'm trying to say is: I feel like I've already experienced all 9 stages.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 08:46 PM
1

that’s what i thought
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 03:43 PM
1

do the apps need to be properly calibrated for the evidence to count? or do i need an actual sound measurement device
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 02:03 PM
1

will a strongly worded letter from a lawyer stop this behavior?
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 02:00 PM
2

i am retaining my lawyer this week. i will ask about exclusive use and also about any kind of orders or a sternly worded letter
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 02:00 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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