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View 3 posts and 101 comments by Prestigious-Read5368 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
8

Living SituationsPrestigious-Read5368/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 05:37 PM
5

Dealing with the Ex / STBXPrestigious-Read5368/r/Divorce_Men03/08/26 05:09 AM
1

CustodyPrestigious-Read5368/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 02:26 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Yep. Hers has evolved to basically rage baiting me on every interaction we have. She sent me a box of my stuff, but nowhere are my actual things I requested from her. Oh, and I got some women's deodorant, unused mind you but ffs all it would take is two seconds to make sure I got what I needed and nothing else... ETA: she is also going for full custody, all while claiming that I agreed to that and over 60% of our significant debt, that she is primarily responsible for (I know because I was the o…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/26 07:24 PM
1

Dude, if you're unable to even trust yourself (I've been there) you need an unbiased professional to guide you through. If it was emotional/psychological abuse from your former partner and you're still wrapping your head around it, that's normal. Just take it one day at a time and try writing things down so you have a written record of what you're thinking this will help you sort through facts vs delusion/perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 05:01 PM
2

If you don't do therapy now, I'd let her know you're open to counseling to help you get on the same page for the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 02:36 AM
1

100% this take right here. I'm being accused of being a danger to my kids, despite no current or past evidence of doing so, unless completely fabricated, so I am forced to buy and wear a body cam to prove otherwise. I don't trust that I won't get falsely accused by her again and go down for it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 02:35 AM
3

I can attest to this. Our first marriage therapist basically took her side and basically attacked me about how I was seeing things because I wanted separation I was so disillusioned with our marriage and failed relationship. This was like a year and a half in I think, shortly after our first kid was born. It didn't get better but we stopped going to therapy for a while and I ended up, trigger warning, attempting suicide. (People need to destigmatize the divorce word, it's not that big of a deal …
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 02:33 AM
2

FWIW, she probably has had a very different experience being married to an alcoholic. Speaking from experience as an addict myself, our partners and others are impacted far more than we can really understand.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 02:21 AM
2

Oh God how I wish I'd known the real her before we married, my stbxw and I... Once the kids discussion came up, my entire relationship disappeared and my mental health tanked significantly. And it only got worse over time even though I subjectively believed it was ok or getting better. It was not.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 02:20 AM
1

Idk my brother divorced his transitioned wife this year and she ended up de transitioning. Which was very painful for both of them I'm sure.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 06:26 PM
1

Dude, I could have wrote this post other than the timing of how often I see my kids. I used to miss her at first, but she has shown her true colors and I realize I was only there for her use, until she couldn't get anything else out of me. Now she's trying to get everything she can out of me through divorce. If I could go back and punch myself in the balls for meeting her, I would.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 10:34 PM
1

I'd say the problem is there are all kinds of "grades" of therapists and too many are below B grade. Only a few get to A, and even fewer get to S tier (superior, higher than A)
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 09:55 PM
1

I like your take. I'm stealing!
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 09:54 PM
2

Gottman is so underrated and under the radar.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 09:53 PM
1

When our therapist said she should stop being so controlling we stopped seeing that therapist, as did she (she started with personally). At the time I remember her saying she learned all she could from that therapist. It wasn't until we were separated years later that I finally realized that "coincidence" from years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 09:52 PM
1

I'm done trying to reason with you. You clearly don't have an ounce of willingness to respect other people's struggles. I care very much about my Kids' situation but have only so much that I can realistically do right now. Also, I could give you the opportunity to "sack up" and butt out of my life when we're talking about someone else's post, but I think I'll do the "sack up" thing and make you an exception I usually reserve for misandrysts, and block you, asshole.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/26 05:57 AM
1

She's fine towards our kids. Towards me she is a completely different creature, ever since she gave birth to our first. I don't see how hard it is to comprehend, they are completely different relationships
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/26 05:52 AM
1

Wrong. It is better for them to have a stable home environment where they can go to the same school for the entire school year regardless of what I do for my life I am working on some personal things right now with plans to move back to Utah in a separate home, separate from that crazy, emotionally abusive woman who made claims that I was a danger to her and the kids without evidence, because nothing ever happened not just because she didn't have evidence, to the point that I'm purchasing a body…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 06:09 AM
1

What are you talking about? I didn't give up my case, I have my first hearing tomorrow
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 10:52 PM
3

I feel like I've slept for 2 even though it's been 8. Even with a CPAP. Can confirm one doesn't sleep like they did pre divorce....
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 03:43 PM
1

Yeah, she started off saying she was going to fight for full custody and then I pushed on her for a better arrangement since she's just not going to be able to make that happen. Well, she has made accusations in the past to me at least indirectly through divorce papers and I asked the court to ignore that as she doesn't have evidence and then it evolved into the idea that she could falsely accuse me any time if I don't have a body cam I can't back up my story. That I do have control over and wil…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 03:42 PM
4

Still have occasional off days (as in Sunday night having a nightmare and waking up convinced I need a body cam so she can't take my kids away) I'm 1 year 2 months in...
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 02:30 PM
0

You're clearly a dumbass if you think that's a good idea.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 02:21 PM
1

In the unlikely event she isn't defrauding he will?
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 01:10 AM
1

I don't think my ex is that unhinged but agreed I'm not taking chances. She's already accused me of being a threat to her after admitting to her, and many others including professionals, that I had a passive homicidal thought toward her after days and weeks and months of fighting over my unemployment (the thought was "you could smother her with a pillow" and she took that to mean "I want to kill her") Edit: she's also trying to take away my parental rights with these accusations and fortunately/…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 04:45 PM
2

I'm still in the process but woke up yesterday convinced I need to buy a body cam or record my interactions with her at least because I'm not about to be falsely accused again of being a danger to our kids, just because I have mental illness. I've never harmed them, and I don't plan to. I don't want that asshole to even have the remote possibility of control in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 04:11 PM
1

It's not about defrauding him. Until he has proof she's defrauding, he would be avoiding alimony payments and would potentially get in trouble. Thus causing himself even more headache.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 03:52 PM
1

How is this relevant to divorce? This is about a relationship after something that sounds like it's already sorted out. Looking for judgment. I think that depends on the guy. Gotta say, sounds like you are not a man though and this subreddit is for men.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 04:21 AM
0

😂 here's your 🏆 since I can't add an award yet!
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 03:54 AM
0

Ah ok. I guess I thought that meant take the high road.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 03:52 AM
0

Because she's potentially doing something very wrong and he's innocent but getting shafted for it. It has nothing to do with bitterness. OP, pay the alimony payment but make sure she doesn't do this to anyone else and see about getting overpaid alimony charges if it shows up that she was defrauding you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 03:49 AM
1

But if she's defrauding him, you wouldn't at least call out the BS and stop her breaking the law?? He shouldn't be punished by her wrongdoing, regardless of whether he wants to make her pay or not. She'll do it again if he doesn't stop her.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 03:46 AM
1

The sheer number of people not reading through your post properly is astounding. NTA she's TA especially since it was her idea to give notice.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 01:47 AM
2

Absolutely and I honestly never thought I was going to divorce myself but now that I am in the middle of a divorce and getting away from my crazy ex and trying to have a relationship with my kids I have thought so many times just washing my hands at all and just going no contact but I just keep thinking about what I would want in that situation and I know I would want a dad because my dad was not present even though he was actually physically there
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 01:11 AM
1

You could do that, but really you're going to miss out on all the bonding on the way that would keep you close. You can't be sure your kid gets those letters and believe me, you don't want to be the dad that screwed up your kid's life for not being there. It costs a lot and it sucks, but your kid deserves more than the bare minimum. Would you have wanted to be raised that way?
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/26 09:08 PM
1

I should also add, depression is a range. You can have depressive moods and not have a disorder, which is meant to signify that your problems are so bad they're causing "disorder" to your life.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/26 06:49 AM
3

Before you do antidepressants, make sure you look into other possible causes for mood dysregulation. ADHD, Autism, and many other diagnoses have many of the symptoms of depression including mood dysregulation. For me that was key. Taking that ADHD med fixed a lot of the mood issues. After years of taking antidepressants which are a different kind of med (mine is Vyvanse, a stimulant, which shouldn't necessarily be taken for certain kinds of diagnoses like bipolar as it can cause mania). My first…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/26 06:47 AM
2

That can be helpful to a point, believe me, I've been in a place where I didn't want to talk about it and I didn't want to deal with it anymore. I guess it depends on how bad your depression symptoms are. I know for me finding out I have ADHD (I have a whole gamut of diagnoses, it's complicated) and then years later getting on a med specifically designed for that, my moods are loads better. If you don't seek out professional help in the sense of meds and therapy, learn everything you can about h…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/26 06:34 AM
5

It depends. Are you actively, proactively seeking care? For me, I have been on and off different meds for the past 8 years and seeing therapists and psychiatrists for all that time, sometimes multiple times a week. I am just finally, now that I'm away from my stbxw, getting better on a good regimen of meds. But I also am unemployed at the moment due to my conditions. If you don't work with somebody there is probably some chance that you can beat this, but it's gonna be a shit storm until you do …
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/26 06:19 AM
1

You should: Stop letting yourself feel like utter trash. You're not. You are a survivor of a lot of bullshit and you'll survive a lot more. Tell your mom so she can know and support you better. I know she doesn't want you feeling like crap. Tell the other guy what she said, all of it, so he can decide whether he should head for the hills or not. Sorry you're going through all this. It's never easy for anyone but I think you got the lion's share.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/26 06:16 AM
1

Also for what it's worth, your post is very far from long winded.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/26 05:14 AM
1

"Once one person wants a divorce, there is nothing you can really do to avoid divorce." Stated in my mandatory divorce orientation education videos. My ex was the same. Never would acknowledge that divorce was what she wanted until one day after I'd already filed if that's what she really wanted, and I made her say it. She wants a divorce but doesn't want to put in the work to make it happen. It will go better for you if you file yourself and get it over with.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/26 05:13 AM
1

Yikes. Hopefully you survive this my friend. Sounds brutal.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/26 05:48 PM
1

Except when she is getting a lawyer and I am significantly disadvantaged by it. I was cut off from all marital assets, disabled, and unemployed because of it, and she forced me to take on several credit cards and medical debts by herself... Meanwhile I am doing what I can donating plasma to make money to support the kids with what I can... Yeah pretty sure I have good grounds for them to force her to pay. She backed off getting a lawyer thankfully, I won't get it to more nitty grittiest of the s…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/26 05:46 PM
1

Personally, I've only had consults. Even now I need a lawyer but can't afford to get one, but if my ex wife gets one, I'm having the court mandate that she pay one for me. What I meant is that this person's situation is fucked up and he needs to find a professional to protect himself and also give back some of the karma she deserves.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/26 05:30 PM
2

I heard a good one today that you might appreciate: your ex is also a really good video gamer. Regardless of how she actually games, she knows all the right buttons to push to get you going...
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/26 05:28 PM
9

Just remember, this too shall pass. But... It will pass like a kidney stone
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/26 04:01 AM
2

Separate legally then see if you still want a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/26 01:53 PM
1

Just because you're filing for divorce doesn't mean you need to neg on your promise to let them go to whatever event. It might make things awkward or hostile, but honestly, I'm already 6 months in and hearing tons of horror stories about how things typically get dragged out for years. So much so that I filed to bifurcate, deciding on all other issues at another time. Also, welcome to the club. This is how i felt all the time in our marriage but esp near the end.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/26 01:41 AM
1

This doesn't make any sense. Are you trying to say, "I want to divorce my wife, but she doesn't want divorce?" Or, "I want to take the option to divorce from my wife but she doesn't want me to take that option away" Or something else? Sorry I saw this post earlier and it made literally zero sense.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/26 01:00 AM
2

Should have posted it in here, tbh. Oh well live and learn.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/26 12:56 AM
4

No, there's never too many questions to ask. You just ask them one at a time. Redditors typically don't like to use dms. I only get weirdos and solicitors on mine. Just follow what other people are doing and you'll do just fine.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/26 12:53 AM
3

Eyyyy can confirm he did that for me today. What's up buddy?
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/26 12:52 AM
1

I literally do not understand what you are trying to say, or what you are actually saying...
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/26 11:23 PM
1

I would say that 95% of the time I was trying to have the hard conversations and initiating them, or even to have connection time (not sex, she did prioritize that better), and she wouldn't allow it to happen. She would always give me excuses: "the house isn't clean" or "I need to take care of this or that" or "I don't want to talk about that" or "you're driving" or "I'm driving" to name just a few. In just one area it led to us both spending ourselves to oblivion (mostly her but I won't say I d…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/26 06:36 PM
1

Uhhhh no? I would rather kill myself. Edited to add: I should say that they should stay with her for stability. I live with my parents. And while not fully happy it's loads better than living with her. Not like she'd let me in anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/26 04:17 AM
1

Utah is where it's gonna be. I'm not there though.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 11:43 PM
1

What?
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 11:43 PM
1

People are weird what can I say? 🤦🏻
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 06:43 PM
1

Legal aid, after 7 days they were supposed to get back to me and 7 days after that I called and said what gives. They said they can't help me. These expensive guys were my next resort. I may still find someone yet, but for now if she's willing to negotiate I will at least see where she is at.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 06:17 PM
3

Connections are built. Deep connections are deepened. Also, you have no idea what your ex would have been like if you'd married her. The grass is greener on the other side on account of all the shit that's over there. Also, she's your ex. So clearly something didn't work out and you would have split eventually.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 06:15 PM
1

Thanks. I have posted on the legal advice subs but so far nothing yet. I am currently unemployed and disabled, so believe me, if I had a way to make the divorce lawyer happen, I would be. I'm not going to let her walk all over me though.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 04:34 PM
1

Note to self: don't get into a romantic relationship with a therapist. I want to roll you back on something: "...it just didn't matter." No, it definitely did, that is learned helplessness talking. It could be worth pursuing again if you're up for it, but I would flat out make sure you get anything she says or does in writing. Even if you have to say, on X date she stated/did this, and either send it to a concerned third party or who knows maybe even her, so she knows you have her number.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 04:32 PM
1

I did actually. With one of the best supposedly. They wanted 5 grand up front for retainer, and I just don't have that kind of money. I was hoping to have her pay for all divorce costs but there's no chance of her paying up front for a lawyer. She had one but I had already worked with him some so I called conflict of interest and he withdrew. She is willing to be amicable supposedly. We'll see how this goes.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 04:21 PM
9

Courts typically have default timelines, I would recommend using the maximum allotted time since she's being an a-hole about it. I wouldn't say there's no chance and no yellow flags telling you it's coming, but really in my experience, they reach a critical point and then don't give you a chance to work on yourself or the marriage because they're just done. Because *it's. All. About. Them. I won't say all cases but many women don't share what they're feeling and expect men to just know. That is …
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 03:50 PM
2

I hope you documented that or made a shirt that you can wear if you're ever in her presence. What a bitch. I'm not married to someone nearly that bad, but I think courts are finally starting to see logic and treat men more equally.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 02:46 PM
2

You should find a lawyer and sue her to hell and back. Like this lady sounds like a real piece of work.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 02:40 PM
1

Nope. Not wrong after what she did. Also, if it's not in writing, it's not enforceable. And this is coming from someone who agreed to pay off hospital debt in my name despite still being married because she tried to assign me specific stuff outside of the courtroom.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 02:37 PM
7

Not something I did, we filed separately, and are up and down on amicable, probably due to the sheer cost of divorce lawyers... I wouldn't. She's an X for a reason...
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 02:35 PM
1

Start the process when you are the most rational. It will be an emotional process. So you won't be purely rational, likely, but I started in a rough spot and looking back it worked out ok, but had my ex actually accepted service back then I woulda been wrecked. I filed an amended petition in May, after attempting to serve her in February, and she accepted the papers on time, the wrong ones mind you, but what I was asking for was wayyyyy too low (like I was giving up my kids, my rights, my life b…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 02:34 PM
3

Divorce itself is painless. It's a decree made by a judge. The processes around that decree, including buildup and aftermath, however, is a bitch. That said, it depends on you. You are choosing what you focus on. You are choosing to attach meaning to your circumstances the way you are. What if one day you woke up and said, this ain't so bad? It's all a matter of perspective and what you're willing to go through. Ask yourself some great questions, then ask a few better questions, including what y…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 02:30 PM
2

Remind yourself over and over that it is indeed over and why it is over for you (like your dealbreakers for her, why you wouldn't consider getting back with her). Processing in a journal and/or with a therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 02:27 PM
1

Here's another source discrediting your argument. https://www.gotquestions.org/marriage-constitutes.html
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 01:56 PM
2

Well good for him. And good for you!
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 01:20 PM
1

You're right. But I didn't this time around (if there ever is another "time around") and therefore I don't have to fight for my rights as I would have to prove that I'm the father, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 12:31 PM
0

Also, as to your premise that marriage was not something God approved of in the sense we know it today, maybe read the context aka Hebrew: https://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/6238-fornication
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 12:30 PM
1

Yes it does. I'm not talking about the Bible. I'm not talking about God's word. Christianity does have a culture besides just worship, as does my LDS upbringing. As did the Jews in Jesus' time. As do so many other religions and organizations. Adding rules and extra customs on top of what is already there is something we humans tend to do. People who are Christian believe God approves of marriage. Also, cherry picking much? Jesus told the Pharisees and scribes that divorce was bad, but also didn'…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 12:26 PM
1

Working on one as we speak. She's trying to take the kids away with no proof that I'm a danger because I'm not. She agreed that she doesn't want to pay her lawyer and mine since I'm unemployed, disabled, etc. So I have the upper hand. So yeah, it does help to have those protections in place. I will probably end up with about 75k in a retirement fund. 60k in debt, but she tried to saddle me with 70k. As for alimony I guess that depends. She was also trying to take legal custody.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 12:19 PM
1

I just wanted to be clear that a prenup requires marriage. https://www.karykeylaw.com/blog/can-a-prenup-still-protect-you-if-you-never-got-married And sure, I'll admit that at this point we're splitting hairs. But I would argue that most people DON'T think ahead and make a similar legal agreement outside of marriage. Thus, getting married has protections by default that are at least something better than not trying to set up an agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 12:14 PM
4

Right, which is totally fair. My point was that everyone is claiming the holy Grail of statistics, when even statisticians would explain in the very basic first level class that they are not the be-all, end-all.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 12:11 PM
0

Ummm you do realize a prenup is for a marriage, right? Most people don't get married because of the government, it's because of a societal conditioning related to God and the law needing to validate it. Because we were once founded on Christian principles.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 12:08 PM
2

That sucks. And man what an asshole that dad was, excusing her behavior. No wonder, she must have got her terrible [insert whatever fitting word like personality] from him.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 12:05 PM
1

In a way I didn't initiate, though I'd been thinking it pretty regularly from the big M day, like on that day too. She and I agreed I should go to inpatient program to work on myself. Three days later, I was told she wanted permanent separation. In front of our kids. On Father's Day. I asked multiple times to give us a chance, for the kids. And the constant stonewalling/grey rocking, truth bombs without letting me process, not listening to me like she'd done our entire marriage, and more, I real…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 12:03 PM
1

Dayum that was rough. I'm sorry. Great art project though that sounds super cool for you and your daughter (and possibly friends and even love interests) to bond over.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 11:56 AM
0

And at the end of the day, statistics 101 tells us that this does not accurately represent the picture, just gives us insight into possibilies. Edit: why the downvotes? Statistics are an extrapolation of available data based on a smaller population and thus cannot truly represent accurately all marriages, let alone your chances for divorce. But also it depends on who you ask. For example the institute of family studies says that this was an outdated idea from the 60s and 70s and that 40% is more…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 04:04 AM
2

If you have kids or assets, it also serves as a helpful protection. Also, I know I'm not going to change your mind, but there are many other benefits I'll leave out because again, I'm not convincing anyone today.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 04:01 AM
1

Oh you're good. I only realized because I saw "kid" not "kids" Texting is great but also sucks sometimes, you know? 😉
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 02:00 PM
1

Iffff you're talking about your own situation, I'm sorry. That sucks. I get it. Iffff you're talking about my situation which I don't think so now that I've reread your response, but just in case... To me, it sounded snarky. I get where you're coming from but my therapist is specifically saying based on actual text messages between us that she is manipulating my emotions intentionally so she can take away my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 01:50 PM
1

Fair point. He was clearly not making that kind of crutch for himself, but I get that you don't have that context and also, it's a good friendly reminder not to get complacent. I definitely have grown a lot due to this divorce so I will say that just being a complete human who will advocate for himself has been huge. Thanks, you likewise!
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 01:47 PM
1

A wise friend told me that the best way to a relationship (if I even want one) is to make sure I'm solid and planted and grounded first. And only then trying to bring someone into my life. The idea being that if you're not whole, or at least stable and filling the whole, then how can you not expect to be swallowed up into someone else? I like this take about needing to fill the provider role with listening to myself, following my passions, etc. I never thought about it that way but definitely be…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 01:23 PM
1

Definitely agree that shifting the energy is a good idea. Just like two days ago, I was struggling sleeping but refused to let myself think about her or the divorce and for the first time, it worked! I've never been able to do that before.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 03:56 AM
1

Is that possible? Like until you barf I mean. I have had my sides ache and stuff, never to barfing though 😂 I'll take this to heart. I've been meaning to get to the gym.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 03:54 AM
1

Yeah we do have 2 young kids (not teens) and totally agree about the voice being triggering. I think she is using that as a way to control how long and when I speak to my boys actually but I don't have proof, just a feeling. It has definitely faded faster than I expected on the good days, but on the longer days, so slow!
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 03:53 AM
3

Thanks so much. I needed this today.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 03:51 AM
3

Thanks for your support. I honestly have lived so far beneath my potential, and definitely settled with her. I wish I had been smarter back then but I didn't believe in myself and was desperate for love, but you know, you can't change it and you can't be too hard on your previous self because you were doing the best you thought you could. This is my fear: trying to find someone again and not being able to find someone who is tolerant, kind, has the same values, etc. esp with how awful it seems l…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 03:50 AM
2

I'm definitely getting there (the last paragraph), it's just taking a lot more of a process than I expected. She was the first girl I kissed, my first and only girlfriend, so this is also my first breakup. And yeah, I do need to just let go of her. Thanks for the candid, direct feedback. I have a lot to work on myself for myself and my boys. She is NOTHING to me anymore (my decision like you said).
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 03:46 AM
1

Thanks, really appreciate you!
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 03:41 AM
1

I appreciate the thought behind this. I saw your DM and while I'm not interested in your coaching I do wish you all the best.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/26 07:54 PM
1

What do you mean by that? And how does one go about this?
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/26 04:46 PM
1

I think this is the hardest part for me: Intellectually, I know that emotions come and go, and that I'm making mountains out of molehills. Emotionally, I can't help but react. And that's a muscle that needs retraining. So yeah it's gonna take time, it just sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/26 04:45 PM
1

Believe me I got rid of as many of her photos as I had. Unfortunately we have kids together so there are some that I need to keep. I bought myself an "ugly" (her standards) tumbler that felt so good.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/26 04:44 PM
1

I am. I'm in therapy multiple times a week and reading self help stuff. I am working on myself actively and trying to be my own self. It doesn't help that we have two gremlins she gets full time while we battle out custody issues and for the next 15 ish years.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/26 04:40 PM
1

Thanks I looked into breakups and it definitely seems like my place ;) I just wish time would go a bit faster sometimes, you know?
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/26 05:30 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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