As many are aware, there may have been things brewing between SSM and Lena, LGR, and others for a while. Matt Forney’s post is a boiling over of that. Free Northerner addresses it peripherally, and again in the context of the manosphere.
This post is directed to all of the Christians embroiled within this affair both those directly involved and those who have brought themselves in on the sides.
Speaking up for the truth.
Who is right or wrong? I don’t know. Does it even matter?
As a Christian, when strife and dissesion breaks out it is very easy to just say “not my problem” and just watch from a distance afar.
I believe this to be incorrect. In fact, there are times when not speaking up for the truth is obviously the wrong thing to do:
Matthew 10 (NASB)
32 “Therefore everyone who [z]confesses Me before men, I will also confess [aa]him before My Father who is in heaven. 33 But whoever [ab]denies Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven.
34 “Do not think that I came to [ac]bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; 36 and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household. 37 “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. 38 And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. 39 He who has found his [ad]life will lose it, and he who has lost his [ae]life for My sake will find it.
In fact, I am beginning to think of the mindset of “if this makes life easier for me to just do nothing” is a completely wrong mindset to have. Christians should not be afraid of conflict, especially when speaking the truth.
This is one of the inherent problems with the Christian nice guy so learn it well. Speak up for the Truth.
One easy example of this is that it directly applies to husbands and wives. It’s easy for the husband to let his wife’s nagging go and not confront her about it. It’s easy for the wife to not speak up her opinion about a situation. While that is “easier” in the short term, it leads to long term building up of resentment and overall increase of strife and dissession in a relationship.
Being able to face and overcome conflict is a necessary step of being a Christian.
Unity
The Scriptures speak to unity in many, many, many different places:
1 Corinthians 1:10 I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.
1 Corinthians 12:12-13 The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body–whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free–and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.
1 John 4:12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
1 Peter 3:8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.
2 Chronicles 30:12 Also in Judah the hand of God was on the people to give them unity of mind to carry out what the king and his officials had ordered, following the word of the LORD.
Colossians 3:13-14 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Ephesians 2:14 For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility,
Ephesians 4:3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Ephesians 4:16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
Galatians 3:26-28 You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Let me be clear about this.
I am not in the business of promoting the manosphere. I am not in the business of promoting the red pill. I am not in the business of saying who is right or who is wrong in such situations. I am not in the business of trying to promote my own agenda. I am not in the business of fracturing the relationships of Christians.
Rather, I’m in the business of promoting God.
No Christian should be trying to promote their side. Instead, Christians should be promoting what God wants. God wants all Christians to dwell together in unity, love, and Spirit in order to be a witness in the world.
Right now we have a poor witness and lots of disunity. People are being caught up and taking sides. This is sinful.
Direct involvement
This is a clear example of where all of the Christians involved should be apologizing to one another (one), (two), (three) for any wrongs they may have committed.
Even if you were totally in the right, you should forgive the other person:
Matthew 6:14 “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
Colossians 3:13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.
I find it disconcerting that Christians have such a hard time with this. I understand it’s really hard to forgive someone who you believe has wronged you deeply. But God calls you to do that.
I know because I have struggled with this over the past couple of months and finally come to a place where I can lay aside my pride of being right in favor of doing what is righteous.
Galatians 5:19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: [i]immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, [j]factions, 21 envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Forgive the other person, apologize as necessary, and reconcile to bring unity in the body of Christ. This is what God commands.
Don’t let your pride strangle your heart and keep you in your sin or as the Scriptures state God won’t forgive you. Don’t pay lip service to God’s commands and make yourself a hypocritical Christian.
Matthew 5:23 Therefore if you are presenting your [s]offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your [t]offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your [u]offering.
Tomorrow is Easter. Don’t celebrate the resurrection of Jesus tomorrow without having attempted to reconcile. Don’t make a mockery of what Jesus has done for us.
I don’t believe public apologies are enough. The Scriptures state to go to the person directly and reconcile directly. Choose your words carefully that you don’t offend the other.
The supporters
There are supporters on both sides of this “schism.”
Quite frankly, almost every Christian taking a side is doing the exact opposite of what is righteous in this situation. When you take a side and show support you are showing yourself to be a promoter of dissesion and strife even inadvertently. You are providing judgment on who is “right” and who is “wrong” instead of promoting love and unity.
This is a sin. And those who engage in such sin will not inhereit the kingdom of God.
Galatians 5:19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: [i]immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, [j]factions, 21 envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
There should be no sides taken.
Instead, there should be promotion of repentance (if any) and reconciliation and forgiveness between the two parties as both sides claim to be Christians. Whatever the dispute it doesn’t matter. Even if someone is right or even is someone is wrong. Don’t promote anyone’s side except God’s.
Matthew 5:43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may [a]be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 Therefore [b]you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
This whole situation has only proven that most Christians are not on God’s side on this particular issue. They only care about themselves more than they do about God. They care more about helping their friends more than doing what God wants. They care more about supporting someone instead of calling them to unity, repentance, and reconciliation.
This is simply not what God has called Christians to be. I am deeply grieved by this.
Many of those involved are Christians who are doing a good work in persuading many to eschew feminism and instead seek God and His values. It pains me to see that the divisions here would so easily trip up these Christians.
Conclusions
This is actually an extremely good lesson for the Christian manosphere and related sites. God allows many things to happen. Even bad things among Christians.
Instead of taking sides and promoting sides we should instead be reaching out to one another in an attempt to forgive and reconcile. This includes Christians who are not directly involved with the situation(s) as well in order to provide support and encouragement for the Christians involved to forgive and reconcile.
Pouring more fuel on the fire in order to support your position or your friend’s position does the exact opposite by creating more tension and strife. It’s not about winning an argument. Lay aside the pride and put on humility instead. Understand that, whether you were right or wrong, by arguing you’re hurting other people. By siding you are hurting other people. Being a Christian is not about being right.
We are human, and we sin. The difference is that we are humble enough to accept God’s grace and forgiveness. This allows us to repent and transform our minds and thinking to be like God’s and to desire what God wants:
- Forgive as God has forgiven you.
- Reach out to the other side and reconcile as best as possible personally not just publically.
- Pray to God that He bless your enemies even be they other Christians.
- Apologize for creating and fostering dissension and strife, even if you think you are right
- Repent and turn from enmities, strife, […] outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, [and] [j]factions and live in unity.
- Don’t take a side but rather encourage apologies, repentance, and reconciliation.
Sadly, I am seeing more human concern that godly concern in this situation. When God allows such things to happen, what you choose to do with it is the fruit. Allow God to work in you to have your fruit be good fruit.
As a Christian “bystander” I won’t keep silent on the matter and instead encourage forgiveness, repentance, grace, unity, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, and self control to all of the Christians involved or commenting on this matter.
I pray that you will do the same.
P.S. Keep in mind that this is the same way you should be thinking as a single Christian looking for a spouse, and as a married Christian. This is one of the easiest ways that the enemy can insert himself into your life and distract you away from what God wants.
