As anyone with a website can attest, its funny to see what Google searches lead people to your site. But I realized people sometimes search for questions I might not have answered yet, and I would hate for these people to continue to be knowledge deprived, so here is my first Google Search Mailbag, where I respond to searches people have found my site with.
Spelling and grammatical errors left in their original form for authenticity and hilarity.
“how to hook up with a cougar”
Don’t.
“how to make sure a girl doesnt acuse yiu of rpe”
I wrote on this, but for the sake of streamlined linkage, read Frost’s take. He links my posts and a bunch of others as an addendum. If you are truly interested in this topic, read them all.
“why men slut shame”
Because unrestrained female sexuality incentives the wrong behavior in men and erodes civilization.
Because sluts are low quality and having to hang out with them long enough to fuck them is depressing.
Because men have an instinct to be disgusted by girls who’ve been turned out so as not to get cucked into raising their bastards.
Because tons of reasons.
“laidnyc masturbating”
My hands aren’t big enough.
“www.old women sex wih youngby.com”
Get the fuck out.
“how to tell her you dont want a relationship pua”
“I don’t want a relationship right now”. Honesty here works fine and is the most underrated part of relationship management. Lead a girl on and all you’ll get is drama.
“how many women lie about their sexual past?”
All of them who aren’t virgins. What does that tell you?
“should i break up with my girlfriend she used to be a slut”
Yes.
“how to tell how many sexual partners he has had”
Rule of 3, Oz. Didn’t you learn anything in college?
“what happens to a womans body after age 25″
Bad things, man.
“should u have sex with a guy who wants ti fuck u not date u”
Probably not but I know you are going to anyway.
“cougar sex gives me anxiety”
and? That is the healthy response. I need a Xanax just thinking about it.
“should i jack off”
Maybe. But don’t be a wanker.
“why would a girl not give u closure”
So she can keep your balls in a Mason Jar under her sink indefinitely. Closure is bullshit. Rid yourself of needing it and attain freedom.
“i’ll love you forever until you turn 30″
Yes, a LaidNYC original quip. The long version “I’ll love you forever until you turn 30 unless you have 3 of my kids by then” was culled for the sake of brevity.
“how to come on to an older girl shes 28 im 20″
Step 1- Go hit on 18 year olds instead.
Step 2- Wait approximately 10-12 years before thinking about hitting on a 28 year old again.
You’re welcome in advance.
“this guy wont date me because i had alot of sexual partners”
Good for him.
“girl brings up ex boyfriend”
The bitch! I don’t converse about stuff like that with a girl I’m interested in. If its a girl you just met, politely sidestep it. If its a girlfriend, squash it and let her know that’s an unacceptable topic
“is it normal for a man to tell you how great your pussy is?”
I suppose if you have a great pussy this could be a normal occurence. Giving pussy compliments is not something I really do, though. Guess I can’t help you.
Seriously tho! ur pussy rocks!
“why guys prefer girl younger then them and girls prefer boys older then them”
younger girls= hotter, more residual fertility, less baggage
Older guys = more status
“is she a slut”
Probably.
“why are NYers assholes?”
Because you don’t know how to walk in a crowd and you’re in our way. Leave.
“how to know if your girlfriend has had many sexual partners”
Go through the list of slut tells, then keylog her passwords and go through her facebook and gmail chats. If you don’t find anything that makes you want to vomit, your relationship just might make it. Send me an invite to your wedding.
“what does it mean when your gf gives the biggest bull shit break up ever and says we can date later”
I hear ya, dawg. She wants other cock. Don’t take her back, ever.
“how to make a single mom my slut”
Don’t. She’s drama, and used up. Raise your standards.
and a personal favorite:
“how to fist grandmother”
Yup, these are my readers.
