There’s not much material in the praxeology for social dynamics, though there should be. Ian Ironwoods RedPillRoom is the best we have, and I’m rewriting one of his points about co-ed dynamics here. I’ll update you on the status of Book 4, show you why the male feminist ally telling you what ‘we’ should do irritates you, how it applies to your real life, and reference some more material for further reading if you want to go down the rabbit hole.
For the paid members I show how frame is so important in these interactions, and easy ways to detect when someone is trying these manipulations on you and what you can do about it, again further reading if you’re interested.
Intro
There will not be a case study this week. The first draft of book 4 is close to finished and if I do more it will be to fill gaps in the storytelling. If your curious, I am aiming for a book, part Christopher Hitches Letters to a young contrarian and part Cliffnotes
Stay subscribed and I’ll be walking through the entire process. Even if you don’t like the Rule Zero of male sexual strategy/positive male identity, if you’re an aspiring author it can be worth it for the process alone. Onto this newest piece.
The Rational Male and I had another collab last Sunday. In it he offhandedly mentioned that he and I are the only wonks on the subject of men. I laughed, but he’s not wrong. And the newest blathering about the Olympic ass whopping given to Italy by the athletic woman™ gives one more example.
For those who are unaware, Angela Carini 🇮🇹 quit her fight against Imane Khelif 🇩🇿 after claiming she had never been hit so hard in her life. Imane is either trans or a hermaphrodite or something, and pundits bicker constantly about it. In all the mess the topic of women’s spaces comes up and thousands of writers (read: marketers appealing to a female audience to grow readership) and then I remembered.
The appeal to ‘we’
There is no we
Between the current faux-concern over the lack of men reading literature, women getting beat in the Olympics, and whatever nonsense people can froth over, you always see the same call to action:
‘we’ (read: you) need to do something about this!
A real man would do what I want him to do!
And we is a powerful word, especially to the lost boy. The man who didn’t grow up with any peer activities: no boy scouts, no church, no place for guys to be guys outside of the watchful eye of mom. Who doesn’t love friends, a peer group, solidarity, comradery, or allies? The idea that you’re not alone, that someone has your back, that if you fall someone can catch you? Men outside of a formal hierarchy, that’s who. If you’re unfamiliar, this was a concept that red pilled author Athol Kay talked about in Married Man Sex Life Primer.
Quickly: formal hierarchies are ones in which the rules, status and behaviors are codified. Military, business, court and being pulled over by a cop are good examples. Informal hierarchies are ones in which status is fluid, behaviors are subjective, and influence matters more than importance. Relationships and women’s social circles are the best example. It’s simplistic, but you can map it to male and female social matrices.
The manipulation comes when people use appeals to formality to gain support informally. A good example of this is this piece on Substack. If you’ve ever read anything from a feminist ally, you know exactly what it’s about. Impotent rage, a demand for men ‘we’ to do better, and pseudo bravado.
Capt Savaho son and you're god-damn right I am … That said, I'm not going to toss women under a bus on your behalf. You got me bent, I'm built to fight men and you're built like a man regardless of how you live your life
I'll fight transvestites, weak ass guys and even ladies who act against their own interests to maintain what's obviously correct. Men have forgotten that one of our roles is to be the necessary villain when times call for a thing to be done that absolutely no one wants to do.
This is the exact same style of rhetoric guys like Paul Elam (the self proclaimed head of the men’s rights advocates who no one in that space will ever work with) use. A caricature of bravado, yelling like the men on television do while punching holes in the drywall and shouting loud, long housed talking points and demands for allies with shame his only tool.
And I get it, this is just internet blather, it doesn’t really matter, but it happens in everyday life just as well. Every time you’ve ever gone to a nightclub and watched a woman acting like the hulk while the bouncers start jumping to her defense if guys so much as raise an eyebrow at her experience the same thing. Every time you’ve been at a social function and that moron you barely know from work tries to step in and moderate your tone when you’re talking with a girl, putting his hand on your shoulder and your first instinct is to jab your pork rib into his neck. hundreds of small interactions in co ed spaces, all play out this way.
Everything in a visceral level boils down to in group signalling. Their group is female approval and validation. They want female validation because ultimately, it’s their sexual strategy. Does this sound overly simplistic, sure. Did it also sound overly simplistic when these same people say that guys think with their dicks? Or was your first instinct to nod your head in approval? We aren’t transcendent creatures, we are monkeys who make iPhones, this is donut theory as Nick August would say.
There’s a few things to be aware of in these dynamics:
Their fake bravado serves a purpose. It’s to bait you into a reaction so they can have a justification to prove their loyalty. Soon as you start raising your voice and taking them seriously, it’s no longer some thirst and sexless dude trying to flex, it’s not the ally taking on the bad guy in the group. Violence scares women (socially) and being able to go,
“Hey, I just wanted him to calm down and did you see how angry he got? I told you he was trouble!” is a great informal hierarchy tool to climb that ladder.
Ultimately, they know they are coming from a position of lower status on the hierarchy, otherwise they wouldn’t need to posture. The minute you take them seriously they are now a contender for your spot. Just by engaging you ceede ground; and
There are always appeals to a fake consensus. hence, we. It implies that there is a group that is good, they are part of it, and you are in serious risk of losing access to that group if you don’t comply.
I hate to add a don’t eat paint warning. They remind me of my military days of teaching to the lowest common denominator. But I will. When I talk about status in this way, don’t autism up the concept and start asking for numbered stats or defined listicles on ten ways to get a +2 to rizz. Status and position are real, but not quantifiable. In group consensus plays a part, as does competence, social norms, etc. It’s an analog dial that can be tuned, not a digital readout that can be maximized.
And that ‘we’ now doe the heavy lifting. If you are a validation seeking type of man, it works wonders. We need to do something about this always means you — you need to do something about this, for me. The reason you can’t explain that irritation you feel when some man talks about ‘we’ like this, the reason you can’t explain it, is because it codes for the feminine. Women don’t act, women influence.
The best weapon for a man is a gun, the best weapon for a woman is a man with a gun
The idea is that since, in all our evolved history, men have been able to affect the dangerous world while women generally were not. Women have evolved for manipulation where men have evolved for combat. I’m not going to nerd out on it, instinctively you know that’s how cavemen sorted things out.
So when you see men trying to act like defective women, or overtly manipulate like this, you only feel disgust. If you’re a woman and you notice a man trying to overtly manipulate you like this, you also feel the ick. Half of the work in Dread is showing guys that you cannot overtly manipulate your wives into rekindling your relationship. It’s also how I can tell when critics are ignorant to the topic because they always assume that’s the goal. Perception is projection at work.
whisper I think said it best in On unplugging all the way: You need to chew before swallowing.:
They are waiting for a messiah to save society.
And while these public figures certainly make us all smile when they take the radical left down a peg, that isn't what we built TRP for. That socket in your head, the one labeled "insert messiah here", or "insert plans here"... that's what made you vulnerable to the Disney Blue Pill, or the Chivalry Blue Pill, or the Feminist Blue Pill in the first place. Someone exploited your desire for a ready-made set of instructions for life. Your dream of a society where everything was mapped out, and you didn't have to wander in the wilderness on your own, looking for what suited you in life.
Unplugging is hard, because it means you are alone.
But when you have sockets in your head for people to plug you into something, whether it be Social Justice, or the Right Wing Save Society Movement, then you are forever at the mercy of any sufficiently persuasive person with an agenda that isn't yours.
It takes hundreds of little manipulative forms, and while this online bravado is a larger than life, over the top version of it, it’s always around you:
I have the answers
I am on the good side
You can be too, but you need to do what I say
Trust me I am persuasive and hold your validation
So what do?
It’s simple. Anytime someone proclaims that you need to do anything, take a beat and ask one simple question: Why, what’s in it for me?
If you can do that, you cannot be manipulated except as a conscious choice. The above substack article, from yet another Paul Elam-esque male ally is just one example of many. The feminist who wrote the article that your wife texted you with ‘we need to talk?’ or the effeminate married dude at the barbeque who puts his hand on you and tells you to be better, or the guy at your school board meeting who wants to signal more diversity for women, they are all the same thing.
Defective women who want you to do what they want you to do, without the burden of paying for your service.
whinemoreplease really did write the best piece on men with no frame.
So how can you quickly tell when a man has no frame? No sense of his personal reality? Because instead of being dismissive of anything that doesn't match his reality - he feels the need to try to peacock and dick measure.
And what can I say? I’m an asshole and needed the comments as an example:
I wouldn’t click it, no point in reading it, but it’s there if you want it. I blocked and moved on, because other than making this meta point about these sorts of conversations there is no value in this.
An ex con threatening everyone because he can’t stand watching a troon beat up a woman in a boxing match. The slighted provocation and he instantly started to peacock and dick measure. Keep that in your head, the moment you hear someone brag to you, know that he’s both insecure about it and has no sense of his personal reality. Mock it for group entertainment or do what Vox Day suggests, and keep these people at arms length.
Because I guarantee they will screw you over at the first chance at any validation at all. There’s a reason I ended off Fuccfiles strong, with the chapter Thirst is the Worst
Thirsty men do stupid and dangerous things. They are the first ones to throw down, they are the first ones to burn a company to the ground, they are the first ones to ruin everything, all for just the chance at validation. I would say it’s for sex, and that’s part of it, but ultimately it is a fear of rejection, a fear of abandonment, and sex is merely one of many validation signals that achieve that.
As much as people like to pretend things are getting more complicated, advancing, it’s all just as simple as it ever was. Men want to fuck and everything we do is in service of that base desire. Our monkey brain built a frontal lobe for rationalization, not to replace the monkey brain.
I think I’m going to stick to field reports. This critique and commentary forces me to interact with people who irritate the fuck outta me and the last thing I want to do is join Rollo on a debate against NotSoErudite again. Fuck that noise.
