Stay focused on your purpose, no matter what others may do or say.

Readership: Men
Theme: Overcoming Obstacles
Length: 600 words
Reading Time: 2 minutes

It’s not to be unexpected that joining a gym, an athletic team, or any other men’s group formed around a physical activity will involve some amount of hazing or some rite of passage. After all, it is the nature of men to seek to establish a hierarchical pecking order. Attention is therefore focused on newcomers.

However, once we have decided that we are “in”, we must not let the evo-psyche rituals of social admission intimidate us and prevent us from pressing on.

In the comments under Oscar’s post, How to double your strength in 3 months (2022-4-1), LastMod described why he doesn’t like going to the gym.

“[The gym is a] Very intimidating place. Especially if you look like me or if a guy / gal is overweight. Any motivation they may have is killed quickly in a place like that. Once I saw people giving side looks, snickering, and just being really crass to a large woman.

People say, “Go to the gym. Lose weight! Work out!” Finally, courage mustered up and they are not welcome.”

In response to Oscar’s attempt to sharpen him up, LastMod retorted…

“…and it makes you look smart, me look stupid, and in the end, it leads me to dislike you more.”

Ahhh… We need to review Detachment 101: Maintaining Frame is the same as setting Socio-Emotional Boundaries.

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One of the first psychological exercises that must be done even before one sets foot in a gym, or joins a sports team, etc., is to settle into an attitude of determination about achieving one’s goals, whether it be to win the championship as a valuable team player, to double one’s strength in 3 months, or simply just to pass gym class, or to maintain a regular schedule of going to the gym for the purpose of staying active.

  • Having trouble staying focused and motivated?  Wear earphones and listen to your favorite music.
  • Too many people want to consume your time and energy with rambling chit chat?  Wear a baseball cap and sunglasses. Keep looking at your watch. Earphones help too.
  • Mr. Meat Head gives you a dirty look?  F ’em!  Stop looking at him.
  • Rude prepper kicks your water bottle over?  F ’em!  Ignore him and keep pressing.
  • Bubble butt yoga pants girl snubs you with IOCs?  F ’em!  Remember what you learned about wimmin from Rollo et al.
  • Sweaty jock boy on the cycle looks at you out of the corner of his eye and shakes his head with disgust?  F ’em!  Snap your towel and pick up speed.
  • Boisterous gym bros monopolize the bench press and won’t give you a turn?  F ’em!  Work on something else and make a note of coming back at a time when they’re not there.
  • Too much bad sportsmanship, derision, disrespect, etc., for you to handle?  F ’em ALL!!!  Go find another gym, team, etc.

The point here is not to develop an antisocial attitude, but to stay focused on your goal/purpose. Whether the gym is full of people or if you are there all alone, you are there for you alone. You are there to achieve your own goals. You’re NOT there to garner attention and win a popularity contest.

If you make acceptance, good feelings, or popularity into a goal, then you’re making things much more difficult than they need to be. Rightly considered, popularity should be considered to be a proof and not a goal. Very few men can make social provenance into a realistically achievable goal in and of itself.

Let us not become slaves to the opinions of others.

Do your own thing, choose your endeavors wisely, follow the Flow, and let time and practice reveal your expertise.

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