Does Masturbation improve Preselection?

Is releasing sexual tension helpful or not?

Readership: All
Theme: Dating and the SMP
Note: Post updated to reflect some input from readers. Links to comments are contained in the initial words.
Length: 1,600 words
Reading Time: 5.5 minutes

Introduction

Preselection is a thing because the prime manner in which women evaluate themselves and each other, and the way they confer status on each other in the feminine social matrix, is through the value and caliber of man each woman is able to get and keep. A man who can get many women to sleep with him presents as high value.

• For men, women get turned on by a guy who’s having sex with other women, but not one who masturbates.
• For women, it is the opposite. Guys would get turned on by a woman who masturbates, but not one who’s having sex with other men.

Women masturbating is always sexy because it signals sexual availability. It signals a woman who wants sex. But a woman having sex with other men signals other men have already claimed her and thus she is not sexually available.

Men masturbating is never sexy because the only reason a man masturbates is because he either cannot or will not get a woman to do it for him. A man who has had sex with other women signals competence, interpersonal acumen, and sexual attractiveness. A man who has had sex feels good about himself, because he’s gotten this basic need satisfied. Now that sex is taken care of, he can go about doing all the other things he wants and needs to do.

Biblical Sexology argues that Masturbation Is NOT A Sin In The Bible (2022/2/11).* So the question then becomes whether it is helpful or not. Many people believe that masturbating before a date is beneficial to the outcome of the date. So this post examines the pros and cons of pre-date jerking.

* My take is that habitual wanking, especially with p0rn, is a symptom of The Blinding Obsession (i.e. the sin of lust). However, it also perpetuates that particular sin and kills discernment.

Is jilling off before a date a good idea for women?

Here’s an OnlyFans and Instagram model with 32,000+ followers who goes by the name Amber Sweetheart. This is the same Amber Sweetheart who authored the book, The Sexting Bible, and earns £71,000 every month teaching other people how to orgasm online. She says, “I have a legion of boyfriends online and I genuinely love every one of them”…

Yes, as a source of attention and income, I presume.

But of course, Amber is not content with having a legion of virtual textors. She needs some real time action with juice in her sluice. Her online work has most certainly led her to view all men (maybe women too) as sex objects, but this becomes a poignant problem when peter is present. The problem is that whenever she goes on a date, she hops on the stud too soon (in her opinion), and then regrets it, apparently.

But fortunately, Amber has discovered a convenient and enjoyable work-around to this problem. If she butters her muffin and jills off before going on a date, then this cools off her hot and bothered baby making engine and puts a damper on her bumper and a flower on her face.

She describes this technique in an article at the Daily Star (Sophie Roberts): ‘I masturbate before dates so I’m not too randy to get to know men properly’ (2021/8/3).

“Not only is it the perfect opportunity for relaxation and self care, it also prevents her from getting too hot under the collar later on in the evening.”

“She can then get to know men properly instead of wanting to jump into bed with them straight away.”

To Amber, “knowing men properly” is a hop, dip, and bump in the park away from the Biblical concept of “know”. Amber says,

“I have been in terrible relationships in the past because physically we were compatible.”

“Now I realise I was just horny at all times.”

“Now, by preventive masturbating I’m able to see what the guy is like and if we can bond well, without the physical aspect of it taking control as much.”

It’s hard to imagine how being “physically compatible” could lead to a terrible relationship, and why skinning the beaver doesn’t drill a hole in the dyke, but the author of the article explains how diddling the cello can sweeten the harmony.

“Masturbating before a date may not be a bad idea – especially as self love can have stress-busting benefits.

This is because your body releases the “love” chemical called oxytocin when you orgasm.

According to Healthline, masturbation can also “boost your mood” and “help you to relax”.

And that’s not all.

Dr Earim, Medical Director of wellness platform, Healthline, said: “Research and anecdotal reports suggest that sexual stimulation, like masturbation, can: relieve stress and tension, boost your mood, sleep better, improve your sex life by better understanding your wants and needs and so on.”

“Orgasm causes the release of endorphins, which are known to reduce stress and boost confidence.

“Also released is serotonin, which is a known antidepressant.”

Yes, but does fanning the fur make a Meet Cute possible? Not sure she’s innocent enough to qualify!

In conclusion of this section, I want to point out that Amber’s primary motivation for pre-date muff spanking is to maintain control, not only self control, but date control.

Is jacking off before a date a good idea for men?

I’ve heard some men give out advice to the same effect — that jacking off before a date calms a man’s nerves* and increases his confidence around a girl.

However, a lot of people on /r/NoFap report the opposite. That women were more attracted to them as a result of not spanking the monkey.

Other men report that masturbating doesn’t produce relaxation* or mental clarity in men. All it does is temporarily relieve the extreme sexual tension and pressure he’s under every minute of every day of his life. All masturbation does for men is give him some release and take the edge off the crushing pressure.

* I think part of the variance in men’s responses are based on what men mean by “calm and relaxed”. Does it mean a lack of sexual tension, or does it mean he is at peace with himself? Women are attracted to the latter, but not the former.

So it’s hard to take a firm position one way or the other on spanking the monkey prior to a date. It’s a choice each man has to make for himself. However, after considering all the information available in the Manosphere, it can be concluded that men should not apologize for their sexual nature because it is part of who we are. Nervous sexual tension is part of the masculine frame and the dance in navigating an interaction with a woman. If she notices your pants turning into a tent, tell her to take your stiffie as a compliment. Men would be better off to lead with that approach (in a controlled and respectable manner, of course), rather than knocking the edge off, and hopefully that confidence will come across.

Σ Frame Axiom 12: A rock hard stiffie is the greatest compliment a man could ever give to a woman.

Interestingly (and this is a mysterious aspect I don’t completely understand), women seem to be able to detect the reason why a man has a cool cucumber, whether it’s because he’s been sluffing the surplus or inseminating poon, as I described in The Sweet Aroma of Love (2022/2/14). What is the difference that women are picking up on, assuming they don’t know anything about a man’s sex life? Pheromones? Sexual tension? ZFG? If it were just orgasm and release that caused hormonal changes in mood, etc., like RPA suggested, then masturbation should attract women too, but it doesn’t. Compared to fapping, there’s something different about coital sex that induces preselection, and it’s not just body chemistry.

So the generalized answer to the titular question is no, masturbation (for men) does not improve preselection, it only reduces sexual tension and puts the man at ease with himself.

Conclusions

In conclusion, pre-jerking is bad advice for Christian men because it reduces his heart-felt passion and sexual tension. Slorish women want a passionless man because it gives her an edge in the power structure, not necessarily because they are more viscerally attracted to him, and this is not the kind of woman a Christian man should be aiming for. Women express preselection in favor of men who are wanted by other women enough to get laid regularly, not men who squeeze the joystick in a frantic effort to control the game — and women can tell the difference!

If your date is someone like Amber Sweetheart, then slogging the log before the fog sets in might help reduce the visceral temptation and view the interaction more objectively.

OTOH, if a nice nubile girl really likes you, an innocent Christian girl, then your nervous sexual tension combined with the lump in your pants will assure her that your desire is alive and kicking, AND that you’re a “promise keeper”. Wedding bells will chime in 6 weeks (if not sooner)!

Chocolates and flowers are sooo 1940s. Don’t just say you love her — Show her! If a man is so horn dog hot that he loses his grip on his self-control and starts humping up her leg, that’s probably the most poignant way that he can show her how much he loves her. It’s also the best way for him to find out how much she really loves him. She’ll either call 911 or else she’ll go down on both knees to promise her undying love with the caress of her lips around the scepter of his power over her loins. This man magic can’t happen if he’s already slogged the log into flaccid obliviousness.

The difference is recreation vs. procreation. Thou must choose, and choose wisely.

Related

• The Rational Male: The Pheromonal Beta (2011/11/17)
• Σ Frame: Pseudo-Sex and Technical-Virginity (2020/5/11)
• Σ Frame: Zizek – Everyday Sexuality (2020/12/14)