Uncovering subconscious self-defeating beliefs can allow one to overcome doubts and fears.

Readership: All;
Theme: Awareness and Introspection
Length: 1,800 words
Reading Time: 10 minutes

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

Carl Jung

Intro

The advent of The Red Pill unleashed a torrential typhoon of turbid truths about human nature that are altogether vital, useful, … and also harmful.  As a point in case of the latter, some younger men who didn’t grow up under the Blue Pill cloud have objections to and/or harbor reservations about The Red Pill because of the Black Pilled negativity and the sheer hopelessness that it conveys.

It’s true.  There is quite a lot of Red Pill ‘wisdom’ that works against developing the kind of mindset that would actually help a man attain his goal of obtaining what he desires in life.

For example,

  • “Women are the gatekeepers of sex” (and she’ll defraud me).
  • “She’s not yours, it’s just your turn.”
  • “The juice isn’t worth the squeeze.”
  • “Women love opportunistically.”
  • “Women seek to control men.”

These and many other maxims don’t offer any positive solutions to the current misfortunes of being born male in today’s gynopositive culture.

There is a void of understanding that the church should be supplying, but it is not; instead, this hunger for truth is being filled by secular seekers, by the mysterious grace of God.  Years ago, The Red Pill filled the vacuum of knowledge imposed by Feminism, but ever since The Red Pill has gone mainstream and Feminism is receding, the applicable knowledge is being suffused with an increased sense of awareness.

Thus, as we slowly migrate away from the Post Truth Era into an Era of Mysticism, we are seeing more and more articles, comments, discourses, posts, and viewpoints in philosophy, psychology, and religion that appeal to and make reference to the mystical.  Although much of this media is stripped (or robbed) of any mention of traditional religious doctrine or the spiritual significance thereof, a spiritually discerning person will see that a lot of the better content is essentially Christian mysticism dressed up in secular language.  Many Red Pill 2.0 voices are breaking the Fourth Wall to mention references to scripture and Christian authors.

It makes sense when you recognize that ¡Sc!eNcE!, as it currently stands, has not yet transcended the metaphysical and is therefore limited — and that only true faith has any meaningful impact or real lasting value.

Fate vs Awareness

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about.

I came across this post from Francesca Psychology that fits into the theme of Awareness.  I’ll go over this, make some connections to the Christian faith, and offer an exemplary exercise of how it can be used.

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“You don’t attract what you consciously desire. You get what you unconsciously want.  Let me explain…”

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“You may say you want “a relationship, more money”, but if you are subconsciously afraid that “being in a relationship will expose me to being abandoned”, or “having money will mean I’ll have no free time”, then you will self-sabotage.”

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“You need to understand all the reasons why you don’t want the thing you claim you want.

Make a list, e.g.:

“I don’t want to be in a relationship because…

  • They will find out I’m not good enough and leave me.
  • I won’t be able to recover if we break up.
  • I will lose myself and my freedom.
  • I won’t be able to travel as much as I want…”
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“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

Carl Jung
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“Now that you made your unconscious conscious, take each belief and change it with something you want to believe.

E.g.: If you believe, “I don’t want to be in a relationship because I won’t recover if we break up”, read that out loud and change it to, “I trust myself to handle any situation and I know I will be OK even if it’s painful.”

This is exactly the kind of introspection that Christian men should be doing on a regular basis, to flush out whatever false or self-defeating beliefs they may have, and to correct them according to Biblical truths.

Commenter pinoniks added,

“Just because you will make it conscious doesn’t resolve the problem. What I learned from my good experience — I had to go against my instincts and to trust what someone suggested me to do. Sometimes it’s not that fun to make a change.”

This is another way of saying that faith / trust and works must go hand in hand for blessings to result (James 2:14-26).

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Bringing Subconscious Beliefs into Conscious Awareness

OK. Let’s try this.

I’m going to apply this technique to a hypothetical young man who has real potential to compete in the SMP/MMP, but whose mindset is the limiting factor.

He might introspectively talk to himself like this.

Lately, I’m becoming aware of something I want but don’t have — a companion / friend / helpmate / lover / wife / mother / children / family / [fill in the blank].

What are all the reasons why I don’t want the thing I desire?  What am I afraid of?

“I don’t want to pair bond with a woman and/or have a girlfriend / wife because…

  1. I do not know how to find / identify / select a woman who can offer this kind of relationship with me.  (Excuses; Ignorance)
  2. When I have met women like this in the past, there was always something about the girl that I could not accept, e.g. buck teeth / different background / different faith tradition / different race / [fill in the blank].  (Pride)
  3. I’m afraid that even if I do find this kind of relationship, she will change and/or it won’t last ‘forever’.  (Lack of Discernment and/or Faith)
  4. Not sure I’d be willing to commit to whatever quality woman I can actually attract.  (Low Self-Esteem)
  5. It will probably require me to spend more time and effort to develop a career, earn more money, get in shape, hone my Frame, step up my Game, and all that jazz.  (Lack of Motivation; Laziness)
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I meditated on these reasons (which are rather common beliefs for most men), and came up with the following reframes for each one.

  1. I have been reading the Bible / Christian Manosphere / Red Pill for months (or years).  I already know everything there is to know about finding, identifying, and selecting a woman who can be the kind of wife that I want.  I just need more experience, because greenhorns can’t be choosers.  Plus, I have a deeper faith in God about discerning these things that I didn’t have before.  I did not have this knowledge or this discernment before, but now I do, and I will continue to grow, learn, and improve.
  2. Focusing on something about a girl that is hard to accept is precisely what allows me to retain a stance of detachment and maintain Frame.  Also, no one is perfect.  The fact that I am aware of her problems is a good thing.  “The devil you know is better than the one you don’t.”  Knowing her problem also allows me to truly love her more authentically.  I just need to sort out what kinds of problems I can handle and stay away from the kinds of problems that would interfere with my Life Mission.
  3. First of all, am I just waving this abstraction as an excuse NOT to take action to do what it would take to investigate the possibilities and find out?  Besides, this is a part of life that cannot be very well controlled or predicted.  I need to get some clinical data on a particular girl before I can ever know how she might change in certain ways, for better or worse, but not in other ways.  I can look for positive signs or negative flags that would indicate what kind of influence we have on each other and get a pretty good idea of how that will play out.
  4. If I find a relationship that is truly worth having / keeping, then it is up to me to decide that it has already been established ‘forever’.  I must claim this by faith, not because any woman is worthy of the task, but because I decide this is what I want for myself, and I’ll find a woman who shares my vision.  If one woman rejects me, then there will be another; and besides, one worth keeping will not give up easily.  TBH, I am the one who is more likely to get tired of her and start looking at other women.  I just need to stop making excuses for rejecting women who are valuable to my life.  More, a covenant is an eternal bond that is stronger than bad choices.  For example, I know a guy whose wife stuck with him while he was an alcoholic banging other women all throughout the first few years of their marriage.  (Not saying that is right, but it is a testament to the power of pair bonding.)
  5. (This one doesn’t change, I just need to decide and accept it.)  What I am asking of myself here is to become a certain kind of man and to adopt a certain kind of lifestyle.  It carries more responsibilities, rewards, and risks, and it will also require much more of me.  So in spite of any difficulties or hassles involved, I need to decide if this is who I truly am, and what I really want to do with my life?  If so, then I need to get to it and deal with whatever is involved and stop sitting around griping and worrying about it.  I know men who’ve done this before and they came out fine, and I know other men who have had their lives ruined.  I can learn from their examples.
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Closing Statements

Here, I don’t mean to say that men should “Man Up and marry dem hoez.”  Far from it.

This is just one technique that can help men suss out incongruent beliefs and other self-limiting mental cognitions that foster the doubts and fears that keep a man locked in a state of confusion, frustration, and inaction.

The real challenge here is NOT how to attract a girl, but how to overcome your self-limiting fears of actually getting what you want, solidify your Internal Locus of Control, and bolster your confidence.  This has many benefits in life, NOT just in dating.

Of course, getting your Inner Game together is necessary but insufficient.  Making these adjustments in one’s attitude may NOT automatically attract a hovering cyclone of unicorns — but for a small subset of men, it might.  I’ll leave it to the reader to know whether this is you, or not.

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