A woman who knows how to fit in and support her husband’s Mission — without making waves — is a blessing to her entire household and to society at large.

Readership: All
Theme: Wives and Mothers
Length: 1,600 words
Reading Time: 8 minutes

Introduction

Before marriage, every man must be on his way to finding his passion; what makes him come alive; his calling – which ideally coincides with his career.  He must have some idea about where he is headed even if the details are not too clear.  And he must know what kind of a wife he needs to be a helper to that.

On the wife’s end, she needs to know what will be required of her if she marries a particular man, and what kind of life she can expect out of a marriage to him.

This post describes 5 lifestyles of men with a Mission and Purpose in life, and wives who know how to support their husband in their work.

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An Athlete and his Wife

A quarterback’s wife needs to be comfortable with a competitive marriage and a physically active home life.  He will have a crazy schedule, practicing and training long hours in and out of season.  He can never have a Happy Meal with the kids and will talk way more football than she has the stomach to digest.  She will also have to attend a lot of football matches and keep a happy smile throughout, even if she personally finds it too violent.  She must control her weight and stay fit, and never let him regret choosing to marry her instead of remaining a bachelor with many girlfriends in rotation.  She will have to accept the fact that many other women will find her husband utterly lip-biting f_ckable, and will lose control of themselves in his presence.  In spite of this competition, she must keep her wits collected and resist jealousy, keeping herself confident of her place as his wife, trusting in the Lord to protect her husband’s heart whenever she is not around him.

A Doctor and his Wife

A doctor’s wife has to learn that he will always have urgent responsibilities to attend, and important matters will always be on his mind, both which detract from his ability to be fully present in mind and body with the family.  He will never have regular timings.  He will probably not have a regular vacation.  He will run out in the middle of the night for emergency calls.  He will always be sleep deprived.  He will walk in at 2:00 in the morning after missing his son’s 10th birthday party the previous evening.  After a shower, a shave, and a short cat nap, he’ll have to run to work again at 7:00 in the morning — before his son wakes up.  She knows it would be improper and unwise to berate him for missing his son’s birthday but should instead give him a warm smile and a hug, never knowing whether her husband may have lost a patient that evening and needs an emotional boost to get through the day — maybe even a quickie if he is up for it and needs to de-stress.  She knows it is better not to know such things, and not to ask. Meanwhile, she must tell their son how proud they are that he has a Daddy who works so hard, cares about people, and saves lives on occasion.  Because it must have been one very sick patient which made him miss his son’s 10th birthday party. And how maybe they will celebrate — just father and son — another day.

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A Pastor and his Wife

A pastor’s wife has to accept the severe pressure of being the primary role model of a wife in the church.  She must observe all that the bible says wives should do and in relation to their husbands — dress attractively yet modestly, submit to him in all things, respect him at all times, refrain from speaking too much in church or as an authority over men — without ever failing!  She must be the perfect mother and housewife, a Proverbs 31 woman who cares and prepares for her household in every way.  She must keep the house looking like Better Homes and Gardens as it is also a place of fellowship and ministry for the church and for the Lord.  She must be on call throughout the week, in case her husband needs a quickie to relieve his stress and temptation, or if he asks her to sit in a counseling session with a younger woman, and then not undermine his council by overtly sympathizing with her complaints too much, even if she agrees with her.  She will have to negotiate handling the women in the church when they gossip, spread rumors, and say things that they would never say in the company of the men.  In addition to all this, she must guard herself against becoming arrogant, conceited, lazy, and vain.  She must resist the screamings of her flesh that tell her she is a human who has bouts of sin like every other woman, and carry on with her duties with honor and grace.

A Professor and his Wife

A professor’s wife should be respectful of her husband’s propensity to be abstract, logical, and reclusive, and observant of his drive to study and to do research.  He will spend long hours in his “cave”, churning out experimental results and writing publications.  Whenever he comes out of his “cave”, he is off to class, or to a conference, or to a meeting with other professors, industry businessmen, researchers, and/or students.  She knows that she must not pose any distraction to him while he is working as he needs to concentrate on his work.  She cannot be given to drinking, or gossiping, or nagging, or being a busybody, or noisy, etc. as these things would create unnecessary turmoil and reduce his productivity.  In spite of this droll inactivity and lack of attention (from her perspective), she needs to dutifully support his material needs consistently without failure — cooking meals, cleaning house, caring for the children, washing laundry — all to allow him to concentrate on his work with all his heart and mind.  She also needs to deal with the long inactive summers and winter breaks, in which he has no work other than to pick away at his research, which continues to be no less important than her desire for a vacation.  She should also be able to cope with female students who take an affectionate liking to her husband, and be able to defuse those situations without embarrassment nor scandal.  Meanwhile, she keeps his balls fully drained on a daily basis so that those young horny college chicks can never present a formidable temptation to him.

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A Writer and his Wife

An author’s or blogger’s or content producer’s wife needs to accept that he will be a homebody and he will always have his nose in the computer.  This has the benefit of him having lots of family time and time with the children, but she may grow tired of seeing him do little other than talking and writing, etc. The family may enjoy short vacations together, but even on vacation, he will be emotionally distant, brainstorming for ideas and jotting down notes at random times.  She must accept that there will be spans of time when he has no output, or output that doesn’t sell well, and so there will be periodic dry spells in the finances.  He may not have good health, which may be part of the reason he chose to be a writer, and he may have poor personal habits, such as smoking, drinking, and may languish in a state of poor fitness.  She may grow bored with the lifestyle after a few years, however, she is free to pursue her own hobbies and interests without too much public scrutiny, as long as it doesn’t interfere with his ability to concentrate and produce content.

Epilogue

In past comments, it is sometimes asked why women should have standards.  Of course, we are not making reference to an entitled princess’s standards here, but it would not be wise to hitch your wagon to a horse if you had no clue where the horse was headed or what that journey would require of you to be made successfully.

The answer to this question is not so much about standards but the direction in which a man is headed and whether a woman has the ability and interest to support that man on his journey in life, because if a woman marries that man, then they are both going there together.

In many past posts, the case has been made that the husband’s headship and the wife’s submission is what constitutes a Christian marriage.  It has also been argued that the second in command (the wife, in the case of marriage) either makes or breaks the enterprise.  So as you can see through any of the above examples, a man’s life and work can be greatly blessed by a wife who knows her place, and it can be hamstrung or severely jeopardized if the wife fails to get with the program.

Moreover, every woman needs to know where the man she is going to marry is headed in life.  Some men have very promising futures in the profession God has called them to.  She can support him in that, or if she does not, she becomes dead weight, or worse!  Some men, sorry to say, are headed to jail!!!  And if she marries such a man, then she can only expect to be supporting herself and their children alone. Moreover, they should not have any misgivings or false expectations about what their life will be like together.

Wives may chafe at these duties and responsibilities, but that is part of the cost of marriage.  If women want to have a husband and a home, then they must fit into his life and work and become an asset, not just a pretty @ss who runs her mouth all day.

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