Mandatory reading for new husbands.

Readership: All; Men;
Theme: Girl Game
Length: 1,250 words
Reading Time: 6 minutes

Intro

Regular readers are probably already familiar with The Main Event, described in these posts.

  1. Reddit/marriedredpill: [MRP Theory] The Main Event (2014/11/14)
  2. Christianity and Masculinity: The Main Event for Married Men (2023/2/15)

If you’re NOT familiar with The Main Event, you’ll definitely need to click on the first link and put yourself in the know before clicking on anything else today.  It is mandatory Red Pill reading.

A Brief Summary of Intersexual Relationship Structures

I’ve written tomes on marital / relationship structures. Here, I want to offer a comprehensive summary of these structures so that readers can put The Main Event into perspective.  (Recently, I saw some comments around the sphere that indicate some readers haven’t yet gotten this.)

In general, marriages come in 3 varieties, according to their overall structure. (See figure below.)

  1. Blue Pill / Chivalry — Wife dominates a henpecked husband.
  2. Red Pill / Christian Headship — Husband rules over an emotionally unstable wife.
  3. Christian Marriage / Covenant / Peaceful Unity — Husband loves his wife and views her as a companion, friend, and helper; Wife respects and submits to her husband and views him as her lord, master, and shepherd.
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For the most part, the behavior of the wife is the primary determinant of the structure (i.e. her level of agency, spiritual maturity, etc.).

In the majority of cases, the structure that is present when the relationship forms is the one that will continue, usually throughout life (unless it ends in divorce or separation).

In some cases, though, the marital structure will change from one structure to another, usually due to drastic life changes, but sometimes through faith.

In rare instances, the marital structure will evolve from Blue Pill, to Red Pill, to Covenant / Peaceful Unity.  Western Christian married men should be aiming for this procession. Of course, this takes time, perhaps a whole lifetime, and not without extreme difficulty.

Framing The Main Event

The Main Event then, properly understood, is the seismic, paradigmatic, psychological shift from a Blue Pill structure to a Red Pill structure.

I don’t have any data, but I’ll guess that the majority of couples who have a Main Event conflict cannot successfully make the transition from the Blue Pill structure to the Red Pill structure, and so The Main Event essentially spells the undoing of the marriage. Again, this is usually due to the refusal or resistance of the wife, because women have a strong aversion to being ruled over by a man they believe is beneath them, and they’re capable of gaslighting themselves with all sorts of lies to convince themselves that their husbands are beneath them and/or that they deserve someone better.  In general, if the wife has a history of sexual promiscuity, and/or if the husband’s SMV is NOT significantly greater than the wife’s, then it is less likely that she’ll be able to successfully make this transition.  Gynocentric laws and social norms (i.e., Duluth, No Fault divorce, mothers being granted default custody, etc.) guarantee it, by design.

In these debased times, a Main Event conflict resulting in a successful transition from the Blue Pill structure to the Red Pill structure is nothing short of a miracle.

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Catalysts for The Main Event

  • The Man takes The Red Pill.
  • The Man decides to begin asserting Headship.
  • The Man gets in shape or drastically increases his SMV.
  • The couple experiences a monumental change in income / wealth.
  • One or both partners becomes Christian, or gets serious about how their faith is lived out.
  • Either the husband or the wife takes on a new, higher-status, or socially ostentatious position which shifts their relationship dynamics.

Any combination of the above catalysts will cause a Main Event to happen sooner, rather than later.

The Main Event is Inevitable

95+% of all marriages to Western women have a Blue Pill structure by default.  This is because Western women grew up on ideas of chivalry and equality in marriage, which leads them to believe that a husband should be their de facto servant in many respects.

However, the Blue Pill structure is wholly untenable over a lifetime. It just won’t work — unless the man is totally willing to obey his wife and serve her interests and purposes, and the wife is uncommonly gifted in leadership ability and is exceedingly gracious to her husband, including sexually.  But most women will never tolerate such an arrangement because of hypergamy.  It violates their Existential Fear.  They would sooner dispose of a dependent man and either live independently or look for a more dominant man.

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So then we have the much too common situation in which women enter into marriage with all kinds of false and misguided expectations, and then when they actually get into marriage, they find that married life doesn’t actually work that way. So then they have to be reeducated through the school of hard knocks, which might take years, and then after they “get it” — that both husband and wife must each contribute 100% by playing their own respective gender roles — roles which more closely resemble Headship than Chivalry or Feminism, then they decide they don’t want to be married after all.  As it is said, “Women want to GET married, but they don’t want to BE married.”

Cue The Main Event, possibly followed by the wife’s exit from the marriage.  70-90% of divorcees (somewhere between 20-45% of all married women) choose this option, as we already know.

Case Study 1 — Holding Out

Σ Frame: Holding Out (2022/12/2)

This post received quite a lot of feedback in the comments. Readers offered a few theories about the contributing author’s late wife’s disposition, namely Hysteric Bonding, Incentives, The Main Event, and The Madonna / Whore Complex.  In a private email, the author said Hysteric Bonding describes his wife the best.

Overall, I’d say the author’s marriage devolved into a stalemate after The Main Event, leading to neither a resolution of Biblical marital roles nor a dissolution of the marriage, and resulting in a very miserable marriage.

I greatly admire and respect this man for enduring these sufferings, and I would even consider him a saint. I believe this is the Cross of Our Age for many men.

Case Study 2 — Jack’s Experience

I had a Main Event experience in both my marriages. I was clueless about what was going on, though, because I didn’t find the Red Pill until a couple of years into my second (present) marriage. My experience is like what the reddit/MarriedRedPill article describes in that The Big Event comes in successively diminishing waves. Also, I didn’t know the difference between a Fitness Test and a Comfort Test; I just thought it was all just them being selfish, evil, and crazy for no good reason other than the ego trip they got from entertaining themselves with the drama. (I still believe my first wife was truly evil and crazy. My present wife is bad-tempered and crazy, but not evil.) Knowing the difference can make it more tolerable.

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Conclusions

The Main Event is an inevitable wake up call to reality, one that cannot be avoided.

At present, The Main Event only exists as a common widespread social phenomenon precisely because too many women are hyped up on lies, and so few women are well prepared to BE Christian wives.  Worse, when The Main Event strikes, very few wives are able and willing to make the transition to a marital structure that more closely matches the Biblical ordinance.  In the current gynocentric climate, they are wholly unable.  As it is said, “(Today’s) Women have no Game.”

It would seem that the only way to avoid the damning consequences is to educate young men and especially young women about the real nature of intersexual dynamics within marriage BEFORE they get into marriage, or even think about dating.

Therefore, I wholeheartedly insist that a textbook description of The Main Event, as well as several other intersexual phenomena explained by The Red Pill (i.e. Attachment Styles, Genuine Authority, Headship, Sexual Blueprints, and many others), should be mandatory reading for new husbands, and a modified Christian Red Pill catechism required for prospective wives.

In addition to these concepts, there are several other types of conflict sequences that commonly play out in marriages, e.g., Bids, Demands, the Prisoner’s Dilemma, Tit for Tat, and Intimacy Avoidance, which Sharkly has written a lot about. (I’m wishing he would write a comprehensive post on this.)

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