Spiritual obedience has a longitudinal impact that goes beyond our conscious awareness.
Readership: Married Men; Marriage Minded Men;
Theme: Boundaries
Length: 1,100 words
Reading Time: 6 minutes
Introduction
Off and on, Σ Frame, Deep Strength (Christianity and Masculinity), and a couple other writers have addressed the question of whether men should be emotionally honest with a woman, trust women, and/or open their hearts to them, the value and risks of doing so, and why women usually respond with spiteful malevolence when men do this.
Here is a list of posts that have touched on this topic before.
- Christianity and Masculinity: The fallacy of teaching men to be emotionally honest (2016/4/12)
- Σ Frame: Ladies Should Respect the Man and Love the Boy (2018/6/28)
- Christianity and Masculinity: “Maturity” is a blind spot for pride (2018/6/30)
- Σ Frame: Creating and Maintaining Heart Trust (2019/4/28)
- Σ Frame: Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. (2020/1/27)
- Σ Frame: Reevaluating the Centrality of the Male Ego (2020/4/15)
- Σ Frame: Redefining Manhood as Boyish Immaturity (2021/6/14)
- Σ Frame: Do men need talk therapy? (2021/6/16)
- Σ Frame: Men’s Fantasy of Emotional Intimacy (2021/6/23)
- Christianity and Masculinity: The fallacy of teaching men to be emotionally honest part 2 (2021/6/24)
- Christianity and Masculinity: “That all changed after we married…” (2021/6/28)
- Σ Frame: When walking on eggshells, step boldly! (2021/6/30)
- Σ Frame: Answers to the Exit Questions for the Series on Masculinity (2021/7/2)
- Adam Piggott: Husbands must not unburden themselves (2021/7/6)
- Σ Frame: Why challenge the character of your wife? (2021/7/7)
- Σ Frame: Not Trusting women is Deep Inner Game (2021/12/15)
- Σ Frame: Wives reap what they sow (2022/1/12)
- Σ Frame: Who will Take Care of Men? (2023/8/2)
- Christianity and Masculinity: Around web: teen who aborted gets potential jail time, the fallacy of teaching men to be emotionally honest (2023/8/15)
- Σ Frame: Dealing with Feminine Insecurity (2023/11/22)
- Σ Frame: Women Think Being Emotionally Mature and Respectful is Witchcraft? (2023/12/5)
Synopsis of Previous Posts and Discussions
Many writers and commenters clung to the idea that men shouldn’t trust women at all because it would show their weaknesses. It just gives women ammunition to use against them, and fuels accusations of men being “insecure in their masculinity”. Again, we see this common trope being proffered by women in which it is assumed that the man is rather immature.
While this perspective is indeed true and much too common, I think we’re not recognizing the ideal situation in which both the man and woman are mature enough to withstand more openness. I know there are couples that enjoy this type of relationship, but they are not likely to visit blogs like ours so their perspectives are underrepresented in our discussions.
In Not Trusting women is Deep Inner Game (2021/12/15), I wrote what I believe is the crux of the issue.
“In reality, the reason why a man should not open up to his wife is not because he is weak, and he needs to hide his weakness. The reason is because the wife is weak, and she can’t face reality without losing faith.”
I have toyed with the idea of whether the type of trust offered to a woman makes a difference, that is, head trust vs. heart trust. Right now, I don’t think it does. I think what matters most is how mature and trustworthy the woman is, indicated by her level of moral agency. The maturity of the man also matters, because if he is not sufficiently mature, then when he opens his heart in trust, then he’ll be spewing a lot of emotional rubbish (which will not be warmly received by her).
La Découverte
I’m sure readers are guessing that I’ll connect this topic to the theme of Boundaries somehow, and there are two guesses that are diametrically opposed in theory.
- Pointing out that men should Press the Boundaries to increase Trust with their GFs or wives.
- Describing how men need to draw boundaries with their GFs or wives by stepping up their Christian Detachment game, not only emotionally, but also tactically.
However, my conclusion concerning the issue of men’s emotional honesty with women is neither of these approaches.
You see, more recently, new reader CGrigorij left a comment under Men’s Fantasy of Emotional Intimacy (2021/6/23). He wrote,
“The fact that today, almost all women do not show any empathy whatsoever for a man’s feelings, and instead mock, sh!t test, and manipulate them for their own self-centered purposes when he shows any signs of his emotions or troubles, is unfortunately true, but it’s not supposed to be like this.
“A wife is supposed to be her husband’s helpmeet, best friend and companion, someone whom her husband can wholeheartedly trust. She is supposed to be caring and empathetic towards him, to comfort him in times of distress. These are not my words, but the words of the Bible (Proverbs 31:11 and Sirach 25:23 just to name a few passages).”
“However, modern women have been led by the system (aka the Beast) to see men as nothing more than emotionless robots who are allegedly supposed to just be their beta providers of material goods. A godly woman is supposed to care about her husband’s emotions, but literally no women today are compelled or led to care about it, because they have no reason to. On the contrary, they are taught to act according to their unrestrained lawless nature, that is, to use men as their tools for achieving material prosperity and their own sexual / emotional satisfaction. Any woman who acts like this has denied the reason of her creation and is headed straight for the lake of fire, lest she repents.”
CGrigorij’s comment reveals that something has changed about the metaphysical reality of the universe since this article was written on 2021/6/23, namely, that it now seems more obvious to us that…
- A woman’s rightful role in the natural order should be as a support to her husband and family.
- If a woman fails to fulfill this role then it is a great burden on her husband and her family, and it is also a shame to herself.
- If a woman refuses to embrace this role at all, then it is despicable and repugnant.
St. Dalrock’s charge that “feminism and feminists are ugly” is now more true than ever. It now seems intuitive to think, “Well of course. How could it be any other way?”
Could it be true that, because men have started to lay down boundaries en masse over the past year or so, that the spiritual mood of the planet has actually changed such to enable us to see this truth for what it is?
Women! Heh… Σ Frame Maxim 29, AKA The Law of Personal Spheres: Each man’s reality is a manifestation of his individual constitution, beliefs, choices, and experiences.
Corollary D to Maxim 29: The collective reality of a group or culture is a manifestation of the constituent individual’s constitutions, beliefs, choices, and experiences.
Suddenly, the answer to the question of whether a man should be emotionally honest with a particular woman is now crystal clear.
Related
- Σ Frame: Pursuing Flow to develop Confidence and Trust (2022/4/22)
- Σ Frame: Case Study: The Problem of Female Pastors in the Church (2023/12/14)
- Σ Frame: Christian Detachment is a Boundary (2024/1/16)
- Σ Frame: How to resist becoming emotionally attached (2024/1/17)
- Σ Frame: Pressing Boundaries to form Trust in Social Interactions (2024/1/23)
- Σ Frame: Case Study: The Problem of Female Pastors in the Church – Part 2 (2024/1/25)
