Stay on target… Stay on target…
Targeted Readership: Men
Theme: Consolidating Masculinity
Length: 1,600 words
Reading Time: 9 minutes
In a previous post, The Path to Contentment (2023/1/18), I described two paradigms, described as the Worldly System and God’s Order, and how we are to find Contentment by jumping from one Life Loop to another, and then to another. This post will compare and contrast these two paradigms as they pertain to the SMP/MMP.
The Worldly System from the Woman’s Perspective
When a woman meets a man with Frame who is going SOMEWHERE in life she is ATTRACTED. That is the essence of why LAMPS etc. works. It shows a man with FRAME. It shows a man with something going on in his life. On a primal level, women want to mate and have children with such a man.
On a deeper level, she wants to be accepted, farts, warts, quirks, and all, and to become an integral and vital part of a man’s life, to bask in his love and attention, to drink from his fountain of love, and to feed off of him in various ways. We often refer to these various aspects as Nesting and Validation.
Ultimately, what a woman needs, and what her soul is looking for is PURPOSE. But women seldom arrive at this conclusion until after they find LAMPS and Validation. So they go off pursuing LAMPS and Validation, only to become disappointed upon finding that these things are unfulfilling and cannot give her a PURPOSE. Only deep bonding and a shared Purpose can stand the test of time. This is one reason why many LTRs fail.
The modern response to this emptiness is for women to try finding that missing piece by being Strong and Independent™, Empowering Herself™, Finding Herself™, or following her dreams of having a leisurely lifestyle. These pursuits also prove to be elusive in terms of Contentment, so they double down, try harder, and continue on. Those women who MUST have a man will seek attention / validation from multiple men, or branch swing to find the next LAMPS guy, which we refer to as Hypergamy and Serial Polyandry.
To some extent, in ye olden days this was mitigated in the flesh when she had multiple children. The family and the children were a woman’s Purpose. And women did not live very long after the children grew up.
But in today’s sexually liberated world, having children is merely one box to check off on her Bucket List of things to do — when she’s “ready”, “sometime later” in life — and it is in no way prioritized. Meanwhile, she is on her way to do something (or someone) better, whatever (or whomever) that might be.
The Worldly System from the Man’s Perspective
For most men, getting a WOMAN to perch on his bird is the mission. One in the bush is worth two in the hand (or more).
So we see a flock of peacocks trying to learn how to get her number, how to please her, how to game her… all in an effort to entice her to spread her wings over his nest.
He goes to the gym, works out, loses weight, gets muscle bulk and definition, and becomes the cock of the walk… all to impress a persnickety hypoagentic girl.
He works hard, goes to college, gets a corner office job with a high pay, all in the hope of being the suitor who is called onto the carpet by a whimsical girl to be her personal ATM.
After marriage, he comes home from work, cleans the house, cooks dinner, does the dishes, all in the hope of settling into bed with her fuzzy muzzle nestled snugly on his nozzle.
But no… “I’m not feeling it tonight, dear.” She “needs to get up early”, diarrhea, headache, leg cramps, menstruation, stomachache, stuffy nose, too cold, too tired, “the kids might hear us”, or whatever other excuse she can hamster up to defer her marital duty and get away with defrauding him — once again.
He goes to the bathroom to rub one out, laying a curse on her under his breath, while she escapes her conscience by sawing logs.
It’s all about the p_ssy.
Are you telling me this is a man’s Mission in life?
That’s not all.
Too many chads infecting the flock. Too many chickens down with the bird flu. Chicks are now laid up and out of service. Too many hens clucking the mantras. The egg market collapses. Competitors are squeezed out of the market. Consumers are charged exorbitant prices for rotten eggs.
Men give up and check out.
“Why work out if I can never impress a girl? Why work if no girl is going to marry me? Why do anything if I cannot get laid / get married?”
They think they’re smart in going AWOL, but it’s a Pyrrhic victory without fresh eggs to crack open each morning.
No Contentment here.
God’s Order from the Woman’s Perspective
A woman’s PURPOSE is MAKING CHRIST KNOWN by helping her husband in HIS mission. It is MAKING CHRIST KNOWN to the children they have.
Thus, a woman’s Mission is NOT attracting ATTENTION, hooking a MAN’s DESIRE, or even being LOVED. It is NOT pursuing a CAREER, making MONEY, or chasing after TINGLES. It is NOT getting married and having children either. These are merely choices and powers that women may have at their disposal in accomplishing their Mission.
If a woman’s PURPOSE is NOT aligned with God’s Order, then exercising these powers will cause great DESTRUCTION to herself and to others. If a woman IS pursuing her God Ordained PURPOSE in her life, then these powers can become a great BLESSING to herself and others.
That POWER is in a woman’s hands. If she uses it wisely, her husband and children will rise up and call her blessed. If she uses it carelessly or selfishly, she will be cursed and shamed as a hoe b!tch.
The purpose of sex and marriage is for marital bonding and sanctification, and to be fruitful and multiply. It is not for fun and games.
Once a man and woman are married, they enjoy the sexual relationship (physical intimacy) and romance (emotional intimacy) within the boundaries of the marriage. They seek to fulfill their duties and responsibilities in marriage and seek to always improve in these areas.
The Husband is the Wife’s one and only sexual partner, her Head, provider, protector, and father to her children. The Wife is the Husband’s affectionate and ready sexual partner, showing submissive respect to her protector and Head, a helper to his Mission, the keeper of the home in accordance to his provision, and being a wise and empathic mother to her children.
Together in marriage, a Husband and Wife display the Covenant relationship of CHRIST and the CHURCH to each other, to their children, to their church, to their community, and to the world at large.
Together, they are a living example of God’s love on Earth, and together they make Christ known.
God’s Order from the Man’s Perspective
Man’s Mission in life is NOT “Happy Wife, Happy Life!”
It is Happy King, Happy Kingdom!
And that King is Christ!
Thus, a man’s Mission in life is to Know the King and establish His Kingdom on earth. As Jesus prayed,
Thy Kingdom come. Thy Will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.
Matthew 6:10 (KJ21)
Ultimately, for a Christian man, the Purpose of his life is to Know Christ himself, and to MAKE CHRIST KNOWN to others.
Sex is a carnal need, and Marriage an earthly institution — which begs the question — Why is there no marriage in heaven? It is because the purpose of sex and marriage is to fulfill the Mission. In heaven, we’ll have a different sort of mission in which marriage (as we know it) is not needed. My pastor believes there is no marriage in heaven because we’ll all be married to Christ.
If a man’s mission / purpose / vision isn’t in place, then the husband and wife are focused on what each one wants out of life and the marriage. They are fighting against each other trying to secure their own needs and prerogatives, e.g., attention, ego fulfillment, love, material needs, respect, social relevance, $$$, sex, status, etc. When their energies are consumed in this way, they don’t have the capability of navigating a ship, much less arriving at any particular destination.
But… if the mission / purpose / vision is right, then the husband and wife both know his / her place. When they know where the ship is going, then it is easier to be the Captain / First Mate / Crew — because then the journey becomes about the destination and what will get the job done and get them there, e.g. respect for hierarchy, boosting of morale (a good sexual relationship boosts morale), supporting and encouraging each other, watching each other’s backs etc.)
The bottom line is that a Man needs to stay focused on his MISSION — to make Christ known in his sphere of influence. He does NOT NEED a woman to do that. In the Garden of Eden, Adam was alone for a while. Eve was NEVER alone. Men are much better able to handle being alone than women are, PROVIDED that they have a MISSION. But… a companion and helper makes the job easier.
The problem is that most men do not understand what it means to make Christ known, and much less, HOW they will do it — so this idea fails to resonate with men, even Christian men. As a result, they have a total lack of Frame. I’ll continue this point in the next post.
Related
- Σ Frame: The Pygmalion Project vs. Shared Enterprises (2018/2/2)
- Σ Frame: Why Do Men Need Visions and Dreams? (2018/5/15)
- Σ Frame: Man as the Manager, Woman as the Helper (2018/5/19)
- Σ Frame: Man as the Middle Manager (2018/5/21)
- Σ Frame: Man as the Hiring Manager (2018/5/24)
