Helpful in choosing a girlfriend / wife.

Readership: Single Men
Theme: IOIs and Vetting
Length: 1,000 words
Reading Time: 5 minutes

The Relative Importance of Vetting Flags

Every woman has red flags, but men move forward anyway because they naively assume that these issues will be resolved somehow.

In one sense, believing that the issues will be resolved is an expression of faith, but because of Blue Pill saturation, it is a poorly informed faith.

In another sense, believing that the issues will be resolved somehow is utter foolishness!

The difference is that some issues can be resolved, but there are certain issues that are not able to be, and never can be resolved — not even by God! So the difficulty in vetting (in addition to overcoming the blinding obsession) is to know which red flags can be resolved, and which ones cannot. The value of the Red Pill is that it gives men a better understanding of which issues can never be resolved.

RedPillBoomer suggested there should be a categorization of red flags, because this is one subject men, especially young men, really need to go to school on. I’d assert that there are red flags that are significant and require discernment (“Is this manageable or a deal breaker?”), red flags that are definitely deal breakers (“See you later sweetheart!”), and red flags where the man better get the he!! out of dodge as fast as he can at the first whiff of it. Better yet, whenever you see the “get out of Dodge flags”, never even enter into any kind of relationship with them in the first place. In other words, spot it coming and run the other way, DOUBLE TIME IT out of there.

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Lists of Vetting Flags

Here I’ll give a list of flags, categorized by racing rules and organized by their DEFCON level.

Green Flag = Go!
Yellow Flag = Caution!
Red Flag = Stop until the cause is cleared!
Black Flag = Disqualified!

Green Flags = Go!

  • Age 18-22
  • N = 0
  • Attended a private high school or home schooled.
  • Gives consistent IOIs
  • Kind and empathetic.
  • Seeks your opinions on things.
  • Defers to your decisions.
  • Generally respectful towards men.
  • Has a good relationship with her father.
  • Has a number of good friends of high character.
  • Has no pets.
  • Submissive.
  • Teachable.

Yellow Flags = Caution!

  • Age 23-27.
  • Public high school education.
  • Doesn’t seek your opinions on things.
  • Has a poor relationship with her father.
  • Displays feminine drama, gives sh!t tests, etc.
  • Disrespectful towards some men.
  • Parrots Feminist lingo.
  • Has no friends.
  • Has a pet.

Red Flags = Stop until the cause is cleared!

  • Age = 28-32
  • N = 1-2
  • College education. (*See notes below.*)
  • Has friends of poor character.
  • Has a bad relationship with her father.
  • Disrespectful towards all men in general.
  • All her friends are guys.
  • Has a large number of beta orbiters.
  • Talks openly and/or frequently about exes.
  • Calls their exes “abusive”, “crazy”, “controlling”, “manipulative”, etc.
  • Displays aposematism (e.g. green or blue hair, gaudy cosmetics, etc.)
  • Poor at enforcing boundaries on attention, money, time, etc.
  • Lacks vulnerability and/or withholds emotional intimacy.
  • Exhibits persistent distrust.
  • Exhibits persistent jealousy.
  • Uses Feminist jargon and talking points with dexterity.
  • Has a history of substance abuse.
  • Behaves in a controlling manner.
  • Has tattoos, extra piercings.
  • Frequently on social media, e.g. F@cebook, Inst@gram,
  • Has a male pet dog.

Black Flags = Disqualified!

  • Age ≥ 32
  • N ≥ 3
  • Divorced.
  • Has a child.
  • History of infidelity.
  • Gives consistent IOCs
  • Post-graduate education.
  • Displays violent behaviors.
  • Mismatched relationship goals.
  • Has an OASIS account, e.g. OnlyFans,
  • Currently has a habit of substance abuse.
  • Participates in Feminist social movements.
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12 Golden Litmus Test Indicators

When vetting for a wife, there are a smaller number of flags that may appear on a sliding scale and are very revealing. These indicators are broken down into the following categories.

Personal Qualities

  1. Age — Lower is better.
  2. CC — Lower is better.
  3. Education — In general, less is more. (*See notes below.*)
  4. Modesty in appearance, dress, and speech — More modesty is better.

Social Qualities

  1. Peer group — Better is better.
  2. Relationship with father — Better is better.
  3. Level of respect towards men and authority — Higher is better.
  4. Social media presence — Less is better.

Relational Qualities

  1. Openness — More is better. If she is honest about things that would be considered a yellow or red flag, that is a +1.
  2. Companionship — She should play the role of a helper, not a ball buster. If things go easier and smoother with her, it’s a good sign. If you find that she often does things that effectively “undo” things you have done, it’s a bad sign. It doesn’t need to be anything big.
  3. Compliance — More is better. She should be agreeable, not contentious.
  4. IOIs vs. IOCs — More of the former, less of the latter.
  5. Influence — She should inspire you, heighten your confidence and faith, and improve your life. If your relationship makes you anxious or jealous, or your bible reading, prayer and worship habits begin to slide, and/or your faith, your love for God, and Christian fellowship is weakened, it’s not a good sign. If you’ve never drank, smoked, etc. and you suddenly and inexplicably find yourself craving these things, then there’s a good chance you’re not a good spiritual match.
  6. Respectful — She should have a good handle on this.
  7. Teachable — She should be open to your instruction and find joy in learning from you.
  8. Trusting — She shouldn’t hesitate to trust you. If she is suspicious or second guessing you, something is off.

Notes

  1. Men who are older, divorced, have children themselves, or who are relatively unsuccessful in life may have to adjust these qualifications according to their own socioeconomic standing and situation in life. See Deti’s Advice to Underqualified Men (2021/12/8).
  2. Readers are welcome to suggest additions to the lists and/or another placement in different categories.
  3. College education has both pros and cons and needs to be considered more carefully. More discussion, information, and analysis can be found in the following posts.

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