Separated from my wife of 15 years in October, divorce decree (not my idea, but it’s uncontested- why fight to keep someone who doesn’t love you) on judge’s desk, so nearly final.
Work is a mixed bag- I’ve been fighting a bunch of quality issues (fighting to improve, that is) and feel like I’m almost alone. We’re losing 10’s of mill per month as a result of my decision, but company pres has my back, and I’m being promoted very soon. This is likely because of my divorce (may be the cause, too)- I’ve been able to focus all my time, energy and emotion into my job, which distracts me nicely from the hollowness of being cast aside.
Finally joined some dating sites after much pressure from friends. All I got were bots, not good for the ole self esteem.
Tried a new site yesterday, and today got a hit from a woman I classified as a long shot- I’m a 40 y/o single father. Hard to sell. Good job, but I deliberately didn’t include much about that in the profile.
We hit it off immediately, and texted back and forth for two hours. This is the first banter with a female I’ve done in two fucking decades, and it restored so much of my vitality and confidence. It’s not that I see her as a conquest, or even someone I want to settle down with (I’m still too new at divorce to want a relationship), but just knowing that someone I find attractive is interested in me has done wonders for my outlook on life. I really don’t mean to brag- I have never been lower during this divorce, and honestly was contemplating suicide a few times. My hope in sharing this is to help other guys who felt like me (and trust me, I’m no specimen) that you need to give yourself a chance to get some wind in your sails before you decide you aren’t seaworthy anymore.