Being a doormat doesn’t keep a man

I am thirty and he is thirty three, and I am a female.

I think I’ve realized already that I’ve become someone that just exists for him. I live just be to his wife and the mother of his kids. I spends hours cooking everyday and I clean ritually. I stay in shape and I always do my hair and makeup. “No” is not in my vocabulary when it comes to sex. I wait on him hand and foot when he’s home. I’m always nice to him. I don’t complain or vent about my issues to him. His peace and happiness is my priority over everything. I’m honestly low key a miserable person but being like his servant scratches a itch deep inside of me. Pleasing him and our kids is the only thing that fills my emotional cup. I just didn’t think I was so far gone as an individual that I am ready to just forget about him literally sleeping with and spending money on other women. I’ve suspected him of cheating before of course it’s not like it popped up out of nowhere, but I never cared to go looking. Curiosity eventually got the best of me and I went searching today while he was at work and I found solid proof. I thought it would hurt to see it right before my eyes but nope I feel fine and I don’t get it.

I believed ignorance was bliss and knowing he was cheating would be a big problem for me but I don’t feel that way. This is making me rethink my sanity. I imagine him sleeping with other women and it doesn’t make me flinch at all. I feel absolutely no different than I did before I found out. Is this normal at all? Am I insane? How do I handle this situation when I don’t even know how to feel? I have good friends and I’m close to my family but I’ve never been satisfied in life before I found him. Why could I almost “want” to be treated like this? I kinda just want to pretend to be mad and confront him so I can fake it till I make it, I just don’t know it that would be a good choice or not. I need advice really bad.

Edit: Insulting me won’t make me listen to your advice. It’s just going to make me shut down and give up wanting to change.