As much as we all have to work to keep LVM out of our lives, it's especially true when we have kids. You have to be doubly careful. Just because a man seems like daddy material or tells you he wants to be a family with you is not enough to introduce him to your kid. You should have already not just done due diligence, but be doubly strict about it, before that man so much as joins your family at a restaurant. It may seem extreme, but I would even advocate for getting a background check. Men who are predators are good at getting women to trust them. This is not me blaming those victims for trusting, just saying that we have to do everything within reason to protect ourselves and out children from harm. If it's a blended family situation, which is already a personal choice, I know, if your kids have issues, even if that man is your damn soulmate, you walk. You are mirroring behaviour for them and you have to show them that you will ALWAYS choose them, and that you will not take shit or anything other than what you deserve.