I just got a new puppy and since joining FDS have made a lot of funny but true parallels about dog training and dating that apply to both. This is meant to be more of a joke if anyone wants to debate anything, I just found it fun to think about. Obviously, you should not need to train a man but even good men need to understand your expectations and boundaries.

Disclaimer: Obviously should not be applied to LVM as you should simply dump them, unlike dogs they are untrainable.

Since dogs (and men) respond based to a lot of nonverbal cues:

  1. Reward good behavior, ignore 'bad' behavior: attention is still attention good or bad. If your puppy nips at your ankles or hands, the best thing to do is not to shout a monologue at the puppy (who won't understand why you're even yelling) but to walk away. Bad behavior = you leaving the room/situation. Good behavior = play time continues. Same applies with men. Sometimes he will say something not so nice or hurt your feelings, you can go on and on about how bad you feel (giving him an ego boost because you care so much about what he thinks) or you can go cold until he chooses to act kindly then you can be warm again. Note: ignoring bad behavior isn't about huge red flags like cheating or abuse. Guys will push your buttons to see you react sometimes.
  2. Positive reinforcement: show outward appreciation and praise for wanted behavior. When my puppy potties outside, I am full of praises and treats. I convey to her that she is doing something that makes me happy ie she should continue that behavior. If you man gets you flowers, thank him for how thoughtful he is. If he dresses up for a date, tell him you find him very attractive.
  3. Set them up for success: this one may be more controversial. I am not saying lower your expectations, but by allowing men to have small "wins" this will translate to successful lifelong behavior. For example, when training your puppy you shouldn't expect them to get the trick right away, but when they make small motions close to what you are looking for then you can reward them even though they haven't quite hit the mark yet. This keeps the puppy from getting frustrated because you make it easier for them to succeed then by no time they're doing the full trick without batting an eye. Keeping training sessions short also prevent a snappy, frustrated puppy. For men, if you want a guy to do X behavior like call you more, don't suddenly expect him to call 5x a week or every night. Instead, if he calls once, be warm, inviting, interesting, and then end the call after 10-15 minutes to go do something you have planned (working out, reading a book, watching a movie, anything really). By doing this you keep him from getting fatigued or bored, while teaching him the positive feelings/rewards of calling you.
  4. The game ends on your terms: part of dog training is teaching your dog they are not the boss of you. A game my puppy and I play is tug of war, similar to the push and pull of dating, but the game always ends when she is getting aggressive or when I feel like it is appropriate by me removing the toy. Women often make the mistake of pushing ahead when they should be pulling away. It is the man's role to make the dates, get your number, text you first, and propose. You, in turn, respond to his advances if he is a HVM you find attractive. However, the moment he pulls away (ie doesnt play by the rules, is busy/unresponsive, not pursuing you), then you do NOT take on the pushing role. Instead you drop the "toy" ie your time, affection, energy/emotional investments, and YOU end the game on your terms. Why? Because he does not control you or the game. You decide when you don't accept a behavior or relationship. You do not become the pursuer.

This was just a fun way for me to use my new dog training knowledge and dating knowledge!