My current boyfriend proudly claimed himself to be a HVM after lurking FDS this afternoon.

Said current boyfriend,

  • who guilt-trips me when I refuse physical contact due to PTSD (pouts and complains "You don't find me sexy, otherwise you'd suck face with me 24/7!" after I reject his offer to make out, or asking "Do you even love me?! You don't touch me anymore, we don't even have sex!!" knowing very well how much sex triggers me due to a traumatic event that I regretfully shared with him - one time he CRIED because he was so "angry" and frustrated that I wouldn't have sex while he was so horny, while showing me all the dating apps he reinstalled to look for "purely physical release"..);

  • who gaslights me into doubting my own words (the usual "You never said that! You're making this up, I remember everything and I don't remember you ever saying this." whenever he forgets what I asked him to do), then turns around playing victim and accusing me of gaslighting him when I try to defend myself;

  • who reacts defensively to almost every single thing I say, assuming I meant it negatively, then denying ever feeling personally offended (eg. I comment on his outfit let's say "Oh you're wearing a blue shirt today.", he raises his voice "But I like it, I'll keep it on

  • who screams at me forcing me to talk when I start having panic attacks and dissociate during fights to the point that I can't even speak, even if I begged him to let me be in silence for a while (he follows me, gets close to my face and yells "TALK TO ME! SAY SOMETHING! SPEAK!", when I'm literally in tears in a corner, unable to get any words out of my mouth because I can barely even breathe);

  • who kept picking my senior 18-year-old, arthritic, cancer-ridden cat up and played around with him (= making him "dance") after I begged him not to because I can sense he was in pain (his argument was "Cats will tell you when they don't like something. He's not even hissing, he likes it!"). Unfortunately he passed away shortly after getting to know my bf.;

  • who does so many more things..

I tried so hard not to laugh when he said "I'm a HVM!" in his tattered boxershorts, wiping the remains of his paprika chips on his faded Metallica tshirt on the couch today. That's why you vet before, AND during a relationship ladies.

Put me in a FDS cone of shame for now - I didn't vet enough and what I thought was a shiny leather purse now turns out to be a stinky, leaking, fly-ridden trash bag. I'm going to break up with him the second I'm back on my feet again. I swear on my mother's ruby necklace.

P.S: I'm sleeping on my couch with my cat tonight. The couch that I carried home ON FOOT for 1 hour with my friend while he sat at home watching TV. Also blocking him from Reddit.