I know FDS is generally against OLD (and rightly so!) It is definitely better to meet someone in person who you know and trust, but why not use all the tools in your toolbox? Any business would use all available revenue streams/marketing - they'd just simply put varying amounts of time/money into each according to their ROI (return on investment). OLD should not replace meeting guys in real life, but it can be useful if you keep it ticking along on the side.

Why use OLD as an 'additional revenue stream'?

  • Circumstances - you might simply not meet many people in person if you have moved to a new city so have a limited social network, are shy, can't do hobbies (due to a pandemic!!) and everyone at work is old etc. 
  • Abundance mindset (avoid 'oneitis') - many people criticise OLD for creating the 'grass is greener' syndrome but I think it is one of its advantages. It's so much easier to leave the abusive guy when a non-abusive guy could be just a swipe away!!
  • Hook up culture - this also sounds like a funny 'advantage' but I think one benefit of 'hook up culture' is that it better weeds out those who aren't genuine. Rather than situationships, I think in the past, guys would more often fake whole relationships 'just to get sex' and then make up some reason to break up later on. Now, there is no real need to do that as guys can actually get (or think they can get) casual sex at a swipe.
  • No 'meet cute' mindset - so many people tell (read: shame) you if you actually try and actively date as 'it's best to meet in person' and 'they come when you're not looking!' In my experience, this is a total sham. I meet and date guys in person all the time and see no different in the fuckery - I am just less ruthless with them because I am holding onto our Nicholas Sparks 'meet cute' BUT WHAT ARE WE GOING TO TELL THE GRANDKIDS?? If I am chatting/dating a few guys at the same time, I don't attach to the 'in person' guy and hold him to the same standards.
  • Experience - you have more options to learn what you like and don't like and about how to date in general. You're never going to get it right first time.
  • Google - the good thing about the internet is that you can find quite a bit of information out about someone before even meeting them. You can find their job history on LinkedIn, interests from Instagram and even their relationship history from Facebook!
  • Women are the queens - men are much more desperate on OLD so you have the bargaining power. There are far more men than women on OLD and the 'casual sex' women can also just go for the most attractive guys. You just have to see how desperately guys swipe and message everyone (as my guy friends have shown me) with very few matches. Compare this to dating in church, where there are way more women so men can be more passive/choosy/entitled/harem-y.
  • Effort from men - as above, due to how OLD is more difficult for guys, they have to be quite invested in dating (or sex) to actually use it.
  • Confidence - OLD can be terrible for self esteem (especially if used badly) but it can also prove to you just how many men are interested in you too, which can be good for confidence.
  • Pandemic - I think this might be the best time for finding relationships on OLD. Guys can't go to nightclubs and with a possible second lockdown looming, are keen to 'lock down' a girl before another year of celibacy strikes!

How to OLD

Disclaimer: these are from my own experiences so may be age/culture specific. So for reference, I am a 23-year-old in a fairly large British city.

Keep expectations low
Know that 90% (at a push!) of guys on OLD are LVM. Just keep this in mind to avoid feeling hopeless about not being able to find any HVM or anyone wanting a relationship. It's not you, it's OLD. It's like job hunting - all a number's game. You're casting your net in a sea of trash so don't expect much more!

Show your standards through your profile
I have always been surprised at all the comments on the internet about being sent dick pics. I have never received one and 99% of the messages I receive are respectful. From what guys have said to me, this is because I look kind and approachable in my pics (smiling and happy) and I look 'multi-faceted' and 'gf material' (so I talk about my interests but also show this through a range of pictures with friends/family/sport/travelling). While one or two show my figure (as I think hiding it makes people suspect you're fat), NONE of my pictures are sexual at all. This is key really as I have seen girls' profiles and they are mostly pouting, in a bikini, posing etc. which sends the wrong message.

Vet profiles *before* swiping
Don't do the male 'swipe on everyone trying to get a match'. As guys are doing that, you can rest assured that almost every guy you *do* swipe on *will* match with you. So to know what you're looking for, good quality profiles = university, hobbies, range of interesting pictures, good job. LVM profiles = 'ab pics', drugs, partying, nihilism, little/no bio, 'looking to have fun', excessive jokes, memes. From above, only swiping on good quality guys could also be why I have managed to avoid the guys who send gross messages.

Use Hinge (or Bumble)
Tinder is fairly obviously a hook up app so the wrong context is set from the start. I have just started using Hinge and have noticed a big difference in quality, where guys actually write a lot about themselves, have much more interesting conversations and actually have educations and jobs (!!). It is also known as a 'relationship app' (where you can actually report guys who aren't looking for a relationship!) and seems to be getting enough traction to be a 'popular app' now. Paid online sites like eHarmony and Match could be good but I feel it could be too pressured/contrived and have more desperate weirdos who can't use other means so resort to paying.

Age range
I have found a big difference between dating guys 25-29 compared to my age (22-24). It very much seems like guys go through stages and that their brain really does take until about 25 to fully develop. Avoid guys who are too old (and predatory) though!

Take breaks
You have to be high in confidence/esteem/enthusiasm for OLD as it can be tiring (and demoralising). If you start feeling bored and negative about it, just take a break from it as you won't be in a good mindset to date anyway. There will always be those mile long match queues for when you return x

Only respond to thoughtful messages
Ignore 'how r u' or 'ur pretty' single liners. That's far too little effort. Only respond to guys who have thoughtfully discussed something in your profile as it shows some thought and interest in you. (You could message first if a profile particularly sparks your interest as this will make you stand out a lot considering how guys NEVER get a message first. But still don't ask him out.)

Make sure a guy asks you out within the week
Fade away from those pen pal conversations as these guys either just want the validation or are already in relationships. Also avoid guys who ask you out straight away as they are trying to bypass communication/effort/trust.

Keep talking to/dating guys
I would say try 2 dates per week and keep messaging guys until you get into a relationship. The benefit of OLD is there are always more options!

Coffee/drink first date
Again, FDS rules are against this but I think dinner dates are appropriate if the guy already knows you, but not on OLD where you don’t know each other. It's just a casual meet (although a guy should still pay) to see if there is any connection/chemistry. I also can't be bothered with too much time/effort for someone I don't know, so I prefer this and also dress accordingly (nice shirt but just jeans, trainers, little make up). After he knows you, you can see if he steps it up. Not asking for too much before a first date also means you blend in and stay on the DL, as you shouldn't show him your standards too early, as below:

Mystery
Now I have said to show that you are a 'girlfriend type' in your profile but do not TELL them this. OLD is anonymous so if you tell guys too much about what you want, they can easily mould themselves into that to get in your pants. Keep your cards close to your chest and let them reveal themselves (and their intentions) to you over time.

Have (sexual) boundaries
This is even more crucial on OLD and I think this one has been the saver for me. I've never had casual sex or jumped into bed straight away with anyone, but I never used to have set boundaries either which sometimes led to the dreaded 'situationship'. (Poor little me was confused why guys would be taking me on romantic dates and talking with me all the time but 'not want a relationship'? Go figure!)

I don't tell guys upfront what I'm looking for as I want to see how they treat me of their own accord. It better shows me their character and intentions. You don't have to waste too much time with this though as guys will try and get sexual by the third date and when they get pushy you can tell them 'your rule' then. By this point, they will have likely built up a reasonable about of emotional connection and investment in you (as guys rarely rarely ever get a first date, especially not a third!) so maybe see you as an actual human and will often carry on (sunk cost fallacy) according to your wishes, or leave - win/win! (3+ dates is not too much time/investment that they feel it is worth faking a relationship to get laid so will usually just leave if they had bad intentions.) Either way, having the 'no sex without exclusivity' boundary means I have found they always put me in the 'nice girl' (Madonna) category rather than the 'whore' category. This doesn't mean they always want a relationship with me (nor should they!) but it means they at least respect me. The scary word 'exclusivity' also makes them stop to actually think with their logical head (rather than the other head!)

I can't think of anything else for now, just good luck out there sisters! Remember this is just how to get decent options, but the real vetting for whether or not he is HVM starts when you are dating IRL!