Hello all! How are you guys? I was wondering if we could add to the handbook or make a post about HV behaviors within a long term relationship.

I've been in a relationship with a HVM for a few years (I'm quite young and not ready for any further commitments yet, so not a forever GF). I've learned to be HV myself, but as always, sometimes it's easy to slip into my old pickmeisha ways. I've slipped up a bit a few times, found myself fighting to see him or losing emotional control such that he saw some emotional dependence on him. Like I said, he's a HVM so I'm not really fighting him to take me on dates, respect me, have fun, etc. It's more like I'm trying set rules for myself so I don't start acting LV or losing sight of myself.

A lot of FDS advice is rightfully directed at dating, but it's hard to apply in relationships. It would help to have a post of guiding principles, advices, or boundaries that one can never forget, even in a relationship. I know the guiding principles: put yourself first, strong boundaries, let him chase etc. but what does that specifically look like in a relationship? What questions should I ask myself when I'm at the precipice of a LV decision? I really want these boundaries to come from a place of self-love, rather than a negative view of my partner.

I can start us off, but I want to hear everyone's thoughts below :)

  • Dates still require a plan, a time, and a place. I don't go 50/50...lol.
  • Only see each other 1-3 times per week. At least once a week, turn him down in favor of your friends/self (be busy).
  • School comes first.
  • No sitting around fantasizing about the future.

Thoughts?

I'm pretty young so I'd love to hear from older, experienced FDSers <3 Thank you~~