Morning, ladies! ☀️

Okay so I've been blown AWAY tonight as I've been listening to various episodes of RC Blakes Jr's podcast. Blakes is a male pastor (I know, I know) who speaks about empowering women (I KNOW 😂🤷‍♀️). Lol just stay with me here!!

A friend recommended his podcast to me and after half an episode, I found myself so amazed by his unflinching brutal honesty about the ways men can manipulate women (and how women should carefully date & thoroughly vet - ring a bell? 🤗👑) that I found myself staying up way too late on a full-out binge of like 12 episodes & taking more notes than I did in college 😂 I started taking notes because I absorb info better from reading than listening, & his info is too good to let go in one ear and out the other lol.

-------Disclaimers (lol):

  1. These are not direct quotes; I've paraphrased a LOT.

  2. I tried to mostly edit out Bible stuff; I understand that strong Christian themes/vibes/references can cause people, for all kinds of reasons, to look askance at a message; and I honestly think his advice is good & applicable for all women of all religions (or lack thereof), so I edited out some of the Jesus to hopefully get this message out to a bigger audience 🙏.

  3. Several of these little tidbits are reiterating points already listed in the FDS Handbook. I'm simply including them because hearing a concept explained with different verbage/analogies helps me grasp it better; I figured some of y'all might learn like this, too.

....Okey-doke & with no further ado (🤦‍♀️😂)----Happy reading! 🤗❤️

  • As long as you allow yourself to be a man's "option" (an easily available woman to be used/toyed with at his convenience) he will continue to play with you.

  • Your sex drive will lie to you; it will turn a frog into a prince, because a lot of "frogs" are good at using sex to manipulate you. Sex in general distorts/clouds your mind and binds you to a man physically and emotionally. Men know this and bad men purposefully/maliciously act upon this knowledge.

  • When you don't thoroughly vet a man before having sex with him, YOU ARE HAVING SEX WITH A STRANGER (no matter how "in love" you feel).

  • Dating is for data. Not romance or sex. Dating is for obtaining information about each other to discern compatibility.

  • Falling in love is dangerous; falling can cause injury to you. If you're suddenly "falling" in love, then you should pause to evaluate that man & how well you've vetted him. You want to "walk" into love, not fall.

  • Are you the kind of woman who rejects respectable treatment? Are you the kind of woman who is not ATTRACTED to respectable treatment? Has society/your upbringing/past relationships trained you to be attracted to aloof, emotionally unavailable men?

  • If so, then your warped sense of what is/is not attractive (part of a broken consciousness) can lead you to place a good potential husband/partner in the friendzone. (And friendship is a very important component of a great relationship's foundation.)

  • If you don't know who you are and don't know your own value, then if a good man approaches you on your truest level, you may not know how to respond; and you may in fact respond in such a way that pushes him away.

  • IF YOU'RE DESPERATE FOR A RELATIONSHIP, THEN YOU DESPERATELY DON'T NEED ONE!

  • A perverted & misogynistic male culture manipulates a woman with CALCULATED CONVERSATION. The most dangerous weapon used against a woman in life is CALCULATED LANGUAGE.

  • A woman can be super intelligent; but a far less intelligent man can still manipulate her, because he's studied hard at, and become very proficient in, a very underestimated area of expertise (not even on many women's radar) - he purposefully, thoroughly observes a woman as he dates her, and gathers all kinds of information about her/from her, then he intentionally uses that information to choose words/phrases/ways of communicating which he TAILORS to that specific woman.... all for the purpose of getting whatever he wants from her (spoiler alert: there's a 99% chance it's sex lol).

  • So if you reveal to him that you love being in love, your love language is gifts, your favorite color is purple, & you don't want to have sex until you feel more secure in the relationship..... he will tenderly say "I'm falling in love with you" while slipping an amethyst (or faux-amethyst lol) bracelet on your wrist. Does he love you? Nope. He wants sex as fast as possible & you told him exactly how to make that happen.

  • When a man really loves a woman, he will bend over backwards not to hurt the feelings of a woman he loves. If a man reveals to you (through jokes, dialogue, etc) that he is comfortable insulting and breaking a woman down (and this can be very subtle, not obvious verbal abuse) that means he HATES women.

  • A man who hates women is a BROKEN man. When a man is broken, the first evidence of him being broken is his desire to tear down the women in his world. Okay one Biblical example 😇: The moment Adam was broken & out of sync with God, the first thing Adam did was accuse Eve, attempting to throw her under the bus. It's easier for a man to take out his anger/pain/dysfunction on women than to do the hard, humbling work of fixing his own brokenness himself.

  • In contrast to a broken man, when a woman is not healed, she becomes SELF-DESTRUCTIVE. The fallout of a woman not being healed is an overpowering need/craving for affirmation and approval. And when she's desperate for those things, she loses herself, her dignity, her self-perspective... her value is diminished in her own eyes, and she sells herself for nothing - because she's not healed.

  • It is important to TAKE TIME AFTER A BREAKUP TO HEAL YOURSELF. If you don't take time to heal before jumping back into the dating world, then you'll subconsciously attract and be attracted to the same bad qualities your ex had.

------That's all for this post 🤗 Kinda long, but he made so many excellent points that I had a tough time picking & choosing which ones to put in this first post...so I put in a bunch lol 😂🤷‍♀️ I plan on posting a sequel sometime soon.

I hope this can be as useful for y'all as it's been/continues to be for me! Love y'all and have a great weekend ❤️