I was reading all features of HVM and my ex had all of them. He broke up with me a month ago because of our codependency problem. I was willing to work on it, he wasn't. I tried to stop him, make him not end things with us but I failed. I'm not proud of it but I begged him to not do it. He blocked me everywhere and cut the contact off completely. I feel so bad for begging him and have no idea how to raise my self esteem back. I obviously seemed so clingy and needy and it makes me want to puke when I think of me begging him to not end things between us. Is there any chance for me to not seem like a total wreck in front of my eyes and probably his too? Unfortunately, after a break up I contacted him twice yet. One time it was me asking him if a break up is permanent or if it's only a break for him. He answered it's permanent and I again started begging him to not do it. And the second time was me sending him a long paragraph of how I signed up to a therapist to work on my codependency issues and that I will wait for him to love me again when he's ready. I feel terrible. I regret that I texted and begged him so badly. I seem so low in my own eyes. And in everyones eyes too probably. I'm seeking for advice how to fix it somehow. I discovered this subreddit and it was extremely helpful for me. I wish I discovered it sooner. But damage is done. What should I do now? Just ignore this whole situation and stop caring? I can't of can't stop thinking of how low I was. Tldr: I begged my ex to not end things with us. I feel so bad about it and i don't know if there is anything I can do about it now.