So I’ve always considered myself high value since FDS. I tried to follow the rules in the handbook and focus on myself rather than what men thought of me. But all this time I realized I was engaging in very low value behavior.

I was putting low value men on a pedestal. Specifically, low value celebrity men.

As someone who likes sports, I have certain players that I like more than others. I found myself getting very attached to certain players. I liked them for their game, or sometimes their personality. But my sad realization was that many, many male athletes in the big leagues are, sadly, very low value. They are misogynistic, homophobic, cheaters, sometimes abusers and sexual assaulters, and go to the strip club despite having a gf/wife and children. But my old pickme self ignored that. I thought they were either funny in terms of personality or their skill and talent was too good to think about all that. I didn’t think of how much I was ignoring their other flaws.

The truth is, I believe it’s okay to like an athlete’s game, like a singer’s voice and songs, and like an actor’s acting. But it went further than that. I found myself getting upset when people criticized my favorite players. Whenever people were attacking and mocking them, whatever valid or invalid, I got mad and wanted to defend them. This made me very upset most of the time, and I couldn’t help but feel bad for the players.

Then I told myself, why do I care?

I’ve never met them. They don’t know I exist. They aren’t exemplary human beings. They don’t affect my life and I am wasting my time caring about their low value shenanigans. It’s not my problem that people are criticizing them, because I’m not their mom and they’re grown ass men who can take care of themselves.

The point I’m making is this: all this time I believed I was a good character judge of men. In real life, I was great at detecting red flags. I was good at avoiding low value people. But when it came to celebrities I liked, I tended to excuse their low value behavior just because I thought they were funny or handsome or whatever.

I’m glad I finally realized I need to apply the same rules to people I’m a fan of. If I wouldn’t excuse my boyfriend for speaking ill of women, cheating, or going to the strip club, then I shouldn’t excuse my favorite celebrities from doing the same. Just because they’re rich and famous, doesn’t mean I should forgive their disgusting behavior. I’m tired of being overprotective over LVM who wouldn’t return the favor if I were in trouble.

So yeah. I’m done praising and defending LVM just because they’re celebrities. Sorry this wasn’t really related to dating, but in a way it is related, because you don’t want to put your boyfriend/husband on a pedestal the same way I did to these celebrities, ignore their flaws, and defend them excessively when they get criticized. I guess this is a good reminder for me to not get overly attached to any man, because he can deceive me, despite looks and personality. I tend to get very attached to people because of my BPD, so being able to step back and realize how unhealthy that is was helpful.