I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about whether or not I want to be celibate. My last “relationship” was just so emotionally abusive, but there was a lot of sex talk and any time we met up it was about what we were doing physically. Don’t get me wrong, I love sex. I have a high sex drive. I think men are awful but they’re what I’m into physically. However, it wasn’t until after our “relationship” that I kind of felt used. I was disrespected multiple times and there was one instance where he did something for me sexually and he said many times that he wasn’t the type of guy to expect anything in return, but then he begged for a BJ. I said I’m really not feeling it since I had a headache earlier he kept begging and begging and begging and I tried then was over it. Fast forward a couple of weeks his true asshole colors came out and I ended it.
So last week he texts me out of nowhere asking me how I was and he’s in town so he wanted to “check in”. Mind you, it ended with him insulting me once I broke things off. I ended up deleting his number so when he texted me I literally had no idea who it was so I asked who. He told me and I instantly regretted asking. I didn’t respond to him “checking in on me” but then asked if we could have sex and keep it strictly physical. I was instantly appalled that he had the nerve to ask me that after he insulted me and made me feel so used and stupid. When I told him no he said he didn’t want my dry pussy anyways (I have health issues). Which made me further appalled. Do guys really have this little respect for women??
As much as I want sex I feel like I don’t want to give in to men because ultimately they’re selfish and self centered and could care less about our emotional well being. Also most of them are so sexually inept and we spend most of our time pleasing them and neglecting our own orgasms. I don’t want to give them what they want.
Context: he seemed great initially, lasted less than two months I’ve known him superficially for years. No red flags. That just goes to show you never fucking know. Protect your peace and energy.
Am I crazy to try celibacy? Anyone else try it and like it? Or try it an think it’s not what it’s cracked up to be? Sorry for the long post it’s bothering me
