Last time this year, I met this guy through tinder. We'd been talking for quite sometime and I caught feelings for him bc he was super nice towards me. I'd stay up late because that would be the only time when he'd reply and we'd go out on long drives together. As time passed, I found myself begging for his time and couldn't understand why wouldn't he want to hangout with me anymore. He liked me right? Except he likes numerous other women.

We were once having an intimate moment in his car when he saw a woman walk past us. It slipped his mouth, "She's seen me with someone before here." How could have she seen him? I hadn't seen her. Why would he go to a place that held a special meaning for me with someone else. - This is how I'd think at that time.

I felt so gross for giving him a bj just minutes before. I had something in my mouth that potentially could've been in someone's vagina hours ago.

I felt so sad. I thought I was being a cool partner for letting him do whatever he wanted.

I don't even know how to word it all together. Couple of hours ago we were kissing eachother by the lake and then that moment when it slipped his mouth, the world cleared up a little. It had been so foggy before.

But one thing, I haven't been talking to that person. I much clearly can see how he treated me. How he abused my trust and how much he broke me.

I hate for having investing my time in that person, but I don't regret it. I realised that I shouldn't be hard on myself for doing what I felt right at the moment. I can learn from the bad experiences.

I'm still getting to the part where I completely seperate myself from him mentally and emotionally. And I'm glad a good friend recommended me this subreddit.