I am so goddamn sick of this question.
I have tried to entertain this question. I've tried to answer and talk to these men as though they didn't plan to use my body as a masturbatory aid.
But every fucking time it's the same, sneaky, manipulative bullshit.
It goes like this.
He asks what I'm looking for.
I quickly say, no hookups.
He gleefully agrees. Starts saying he doesn't want a hookup either, he doesn't like anonymous sex (hint one).
I would say yes, I am hoping to date. I want to get to know the person.
He agrees again, but starts getting vague. That he wants to have fun. That it's not "just sex" (hint two). He wants to be able to chill. His wants get vague-r here, but wanting sex is clear.
I say yes, I also want to meet someone I get along with. However, I am not looking for casual sex.
He isn't either, he'll say.
Before, this used to be enough for me. I'd get tricked into a date like this because I was too embarrased to admit I want a relationship eventually.
Now I say- no, I want to date because I eventually want a relationship. I do not want this immediately, but if it's off the table entirely then I do not want to date as it is a waste of my time.
Here's where they panic (they literally act like I demanded marriage instead of expressing I wanted to seriously date) and explain they never wanted a relationship, they wanted a FWB. Basically- they wanted a hookup the whole time, despite their vague answers.
So. Fucking. Sick. Of. This.
Now? I just unmatch the second they ask. Maybe I'm missing out on one or two men who want to seriously date, but in my track record the ones who want to date and not fuck make that clear immediately. The ones looking to trick us into hookups ask this stupid ass question.
