Yesterday I went to a reunion with the people I used to work with and there was a guy I used to be friendly with. We started talking and he would laugh really hard at my jokes and that doesn’t sound so bad right? Well... considering the fact that while yes, you can say I’m pretty funny I wouldn’t say all the topics we discussed were knee slappers, such as responsible recreational drug use for example. We went into it because he was saying that he’s been doing quite a bit of drugs and partying since he broke it with his wife. When I mentioned that while I do enjoy sometimes a nice trip, I take care of myself and take vitamins and make a nice setting for myself and others that join me. He almost rolled on the floor “laughing” and saying that’s the funniest thing he’s heard, “vitamins? Hahaha what does that do anyway? Doing psychedelics at home? Not in a club? You’re missing out”. That has taken me aback a little and I explained to him that I’m not planning on having a bad trip and ruin my experience, and clubs aren’t my scene anyway since I like having conversations and I hate loud shitty music. He thought it’s so funny (mind you he’s around 40 and I thought at that age you have some common sense).
Lurking in this subreddit for quite a while now I started spotting odd behavior in men trying to “seem cool and impress me”. I looked back to a couple of years ago, he was doing the exact same thing when we were having a conversation he’d laugh.. way too hard for what has been said, and it seemed fake because he wasn’t doing it in conversations with other people. And I realized that tonight, so I started to observe him talking to others, he was acting relatively normal. When we would talk he would interrupt me to tell me how hilarious I am and how I crack him up but it seemed way too exaggerated, it made me feel.. repulsed especially because he would sometimes lightly slap MY knee and poke me with a “you’re too funny hahahaha” and only briefly stopped with the touching when I mentioned I have a boyfriend. Now I wouldn’t have a problem with this banter touching when it comes from the male friends I’m close with because they won’t make it inappropriate but when it’s an acquaintance I haven’t seen in years I’m gonna be mad and repulsed.
I did eventually leave the reunion party but what bummed me is the fact that I’ve been so blind and genuinely thought he’s an ok guy not that I would ever date him or anything but still.
Please share similar experiences if you have any, I would love to hear how you realized it’s happening and/or how dealt with the situation.
PS. I would like to thank this subreddit for helping me spot shitty male behavior and overall do what’s best for myself. Much love! ❤️
