(31F) here.... My fiancee (33M) won't stand up to the "friends" who are trying to wreck our relationship and it's not paranoia on my part they are actively trying to stop our wedding. HELP!!!

442 points•304 comments•submitted by wildfidgets to r/relationship_advice

Throwaway, of course.....

My fiancee has three friends that are, I'm convinced, the worst human beings on the planet. They're rude and crude, also they act like they're better than everyone and deserve ass-kissing just for existing.

But they've been my fiancee's friends since childhood so I get it, nasty as they are, they're here to stay. We all went to school together, and they were little assholes since Jr. High, nothing's changed.

I've just been putting up with them during the two years of our relationship and doing my best to avoid interacting with them personally.

My fiancee goes out with them, comes home smashed drunk usually ( biiiiiig trigger for me my mother was an alcoholic ) and then I get interrogated. "How many men did I really sleep with before him?" "Why do I want him now when I didn't even talk to him in high school?" Just really rude questions all the time.

I know all this questioning is 100% prompted by his asshole "friends". The closer it gets to our wedding, the more he goes to see his friends ( they constantly push for him to come hangout and he just gives in and goes ) .....and every time, he comes home and throws another bomb at our relationship. We've had so many fights and discussions in the last two months, and I lay the blame 100% at the door of the asshole "friends" and my fiancee's unwillingness and/or inability to tell those jerks to shut up and fuck OFF with their nonsense. I don't want to be THAT kind of wife who keeps their husband away from their friends but...damn this is a wretched situation.

We have a pre-nup as of three weeks ago because he came home totally lit from a hangout with the assholes with the ultimatum "We get a pre-nup or the wedding is cancelled. I don't want you stealing my house in a divorce"

After some sober discussing of it, I let the ultimatum stand, since the lawyer I went to says it's a modern necessity for there to be a pre-nup.... but I still feel like we're on shaky ground with trust issues.

Idiot me, I assumed since we loved each other we'd stay married if we DIDN'T stay married then we'd work out how to split in a kind way towards each other.

He can't have my goddamn house in a divorce either!!

We live in his and rent mine out, he wanted us to live at his place so...fine, I pay the water/electric/internet/yard service/garbage etc small bills and buy most of the food I thought we had a fair arrangement. But no, yesterday he comes home from another hangout with the assholes and tells me I need to start paying him rent too. As usual we'll discuss it at dinner after he's gotten sobered up and over the hangover, but it will be the same resolution as always.... We'll talk, work out some solutions, and then the next time he goes to see his friends all our solutions go out the window and he'll bring home some OTHER thing to bitch at me about or pick a fight over.

But right now I'm just pissed off and stressed out. The wedding is September 14th and I'm scrambling around trying to get everything done on time for it and the last thing I need is more shit brought on by the assholes.

So here I am venting on the internet because I feel like I'm out of ideas on how to fix this.

Thanks for listening.

*Edit : Counselling appointment Wednesday, he agreed via text and we had to sort it out through messages since I'm not home today. But there it is... Professional help imminent.

*Edit 2 : I told him the wedding is off, we tell everyone tomorrow, we cancel what we can and take the non-refundable deposit hit. I guess I'm making demands and throwing down ultimatums now too.

😿