I’m feeling so much rage right now I want to punch through a wall. I’m feeling terrible. My ex used me as an emotional tampon. I suspect she was a narcissist. I genuinely loved her and was 100% real with her. She knew about my mental illness and weakness (depression, anxiety, low self esteem) and she used that to always turn shit around on me, gaslighting me. She knew I didn’t have much money so she married the guy her family got for her (arranged marriage) who is obviously more successful than me at present. And within 2 weeks, she falls in love apparently. She was with me for more than 2.5 years. After the breakup, I have fallen into an even darker hole and dropped out of my course. Today I found out from a friend of mine that she actually went on and cleared the course we were studying. Today she is so much more successful than me, has a loving partner and attention, completed her education, has more money than me.

Meanwhile here I am with nothing, wasting my life away from the last 1.5 years. I feel so horrible like I was nothing to her. Like dude, all I ever did was genuinely love a person. If she wasn’t interested in me, she could have said No and went on anyway. Whenever I look at her social media, she looks so happy with her husband. So I was nothing to her? All the sweet and loving things she said to me. She said she loved me after she gets engaged to the new guy. WTF is this!!

People who betray and use others are successful and happy in life, people who genuinely cared and believed in love and friendship are fucking depressed. Is this what I get? I hate myself. I know she doesn’t even think about me and does not have the least bit amount of sadness and regret on losing me. But here I am feeling sad about shit. I’m so pissed off. Please help me get through this. Can’t talk to anyone else as they will only tell me it was all my fault and call me a loser. No one cares.

All the family and friends took her side, supported and loved her even though she is a horrible cunt but I am left to wither alone even if I’m depressed. No one gives two fucks about me. Not even my own family. I don’t know what to feel.