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On Consent

wazzup987

November 4, 2015

4 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	On Consent
Author	wazzup987
Upvotes	4
Comments	4
Date	November 4, 2015 9:00 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/3rh08k/on_consent/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/on-consent.967970 https://theredarchive.com/post/967970

Comments

[–]bertreapot 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]wazzup987[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]bertreapot 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Negotiated consent is great as an ideal but obviously nobody does this. Nearly everybody starts with making out and then goes from there, relying on the other party to say no or resist if they're not comfortable with going to the next level.

Of course the traditional method of sex can be troublesome if, like in the Cornell definition of consent in the article, a lack of a no or resistance shouldn't be counted as consent. Really? I think almost all sex happens this way (as an example, you are kissing someone then you attempt to unbuckle their jeans. They don't say no and don't resist).

IMO these current attempts to narrow the definition of sexual consent are meant to address situations where one party later says "I wanted to say no but didn't feel I could" or "I was too frozen with fear to say no." These scenarios put normal instances of going back to someone's house to fool around on the same level as being abducted and forced into sex, which clearly are not the same situation.

I feel we'd be better off teaching young men and women to say no clearly and consistently. Unless the other party has trapped you in their house and threatened you with violence unless you comply, you are always free to say no or to leave. People have normal, healthy, consensual sex every day without relying on affirmative consent or negotiated consent to get them through it.

[–]wazzup987[S] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link