(I'll be honest, I tried posting on the original r/redpill but apparently I don't have enough karma.)

So, I had a discussion about arranged marriages in a post on the r/asktrp sub reddit, and just felt like asking your opinions on this.

(Link if anyone is interested, you might have to look around a bit for my comment replies: https://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/hoxvvi/35_wants_kids_someday_wtf/)

Arranged marriages might seem as something that is a "taboo" of sorts in western culture, maybe because its misrepresented in western media. The modern arranged marriages are where a family of a bride and a groom meet with each other, talk to each other, and while they do that the bride and the groom go on a 'private date' of sorts to get to know the other person. If and only if everyone, both the families and both the groom and the bride agree, is a marriage decided. Otherwise, its on to the next appointment with another family.

Now, this at first glance might not seem to be very good, but understand that the point of these marriages is to start a new family. You don't have to magically 'fall in love' with your spouse for that, you can just be best friends with them, and build a deep relationship. Only difference being that your spouse also has the responsibility of procreation.

This might seem downright unacceptable or something, but as I said, the point is to start a family; and, especially the culture that I come from, family comes first. No exceptions. Always.

So lets imagine this hypothetical situation.

You are a 40 year old man, you struggle to get by, and you do not have job security. You're a highschool dropout, but you're mentally pretty stable, and loving, and would soon feel like starting a family; however you have no chance of getting a wife because of your life situation. What do you do, are you screwed?

But then, one day you meet this 35 year old working woman who somehow, against all odds managed to get a six-figure job, after working in her career for 15 years. She isn't the most good looking woman out there, and she wants to settle down and raise a family too; but she probably is not going to get a husband anytime soon.

You both meet, but felt absolutely no chemistry. Until you learnt about her situation, and you think about your own desperate situation. You both decide to come to an agreement in which you would read and learn about the basics of parenting form all the sources you could find, and then propose to be a stay at home dad, while she had the freedom to follow her career without the tension of having kids but the happiness of having them.

Is this ideal?

No. There are biological obstructions and a whole other myriad of problems.

But, do you have a choice?

No. You're desperate, so you decide to follow through with this.

Now would come the argument that the woman would feel terrible still and file for divorce. I disagree on the last part. Maybe if she was a western women she would(no offense to any, if here, but westerners tend to bring up divorce for every single fucking thing) but if she was brought up with the mindset that family comes first, no exceptions, she would still deal with it. You want proof? Literally travel to any Asian country and see it for yourselves with your own eyes. There are a lot of stay at home dads there. That is literally the best part about arranged marriages, you do not need to love your spouse for them to be your spouse.

Would this marriage be a happy one? Not if you go into it expecting love it won't. If you go into it with the sole mindset of forming a strong platonic bond with a person, and raise a family, then you will be satisfied.

So, what do you think about this? Sure it is not ideal by any means...but desperate times call for desperate measures. Both the husband and wife are happy with what they achieved.

(One problem with this could be extramarital affairs by both, but hey that was the reason why I mentioned that you don't need to love someone for them to be your spouse. The marriage is just an arrangement for mutual benefit, and for getting a life-long best friend. Nothing more, nothing less.)