What I was originally writing about was objectification, but then my mind moved onto learning lessons (specifically, hard lessons, and especially when it's contrary to your deeply held delusions) and I decided it's more worthwhile. I'll explain my train of thought and then move onto the crux of it. I guess just skip the next part if you don't care.

Train of thought: I was fighting a guy at the gym. Advanced MMA sparring. I really enjoy it. It's a great opportunity to get the shit kicked out of you by more advanced students or the masters. The pro-fighters train in this time as well and if you aren't good enough they tell you to fuck off because you are wasting mat space. But on this day I got the bad luck of being paired up with a guy that was smaller than me. Something I absolutely LOATH. I hate fighting women the most, but right after that is guys smaller than me.

[I love the gym and the fight culture, but it's still infected by the western culture at large just like everything here is. I have to claim religious reasons for not wanting to spar with girls because if I just say I don't want to fight girls I'm a sexist. (Doesn't want to hurt smaller weaker people = sexist.) Mini-rant over.]

I guess I don't hate fighting smaller guys. I enjoy helping people who are earlier on the path of learning just like that are ahead of me help me as well as helping people learn about a certain experience. I mean, obviously, if I like fighting bigger guys that makes me the smaller guy a lot. I realize I was speaking too broadly when I just said small guys and conflated them with the annoying women thing. What actually makes it annoying is the absurd refusal to accept physical realities (which is what conflated it with the woman thing in my mind) and to claim that everything in fighting is about skill. This guy I was fighting is an example of it. He's a brown belt of 8 years (I think) and I'm a no belt guy 3 years. He thinks he can beat me despite the fact that I am 80kgs, deadlift 140kgs (and I'm pushing it), and he's under 70kg and doesn't lift as far as I know. (It is ludicrous how many fighters think that lifting isn't important and pretty much just do cardio and martial arts training. I constantly overpower more skilled fighters than me.) He weighs in for fights at under 70kgs so he is probably walking around 72kg.

I'm not going to discuss the fight point by point. It was probably boring to watch anyway. But I won. The recap is that he was in fact skilled and did a lot of good moves. Then I overpowered him and punched him in the stomach for awhile. And what struck me was the incredibly omega thing he said towards the end. He said, "For Francine!" (a woman's name, presumably his girlfriend or his wife) and tried to rally himself into an underdog's victory. I could see him imagining it like it was in the movies and shit. And I started thinking in that moment about how fucking omega that was. As if this girl knows anything like the pain of a brutal beating or cares about him at that level. As if he is in her final thoughts before she fails or he is her last and greatest reserve of inspiration. For a split second I thought I should teach him a lesson, but then I thought he isn't worth it and wouldn't appreciate it in any case. He tapped a few moments later when I choked him out.

When I was walking home I found myself thinking about his dumbass words. It just astounds me how this, the basic western man, is supposed to be the the vile woman hating patriarch. He loves women sincerely and deeply. He loves them for their body and mind, everything that makes them human. And he doesn't care about anything else like her education or money. As oppose to her enacting Briffault's Law. I admit, I don't actually know a lot about his relationship with her, but I am making the presumption that they are both basic bitches until proven wrong.

But then I thought, waa waa call the fucking waaaaaaambulance. Yeah, we all know that already. What's more important is to learn something myself than to let my thoughts be polluted with brooding and my mental energy wasted on whinging about people's natures.

On learning lessons: So I started thinking about if -I- had been in his position. Not limited to that exact circumstance, but if I was expressing my own omeganess (which I still have in many ways, just because I don't have it in one way doesn't mean I'm suddenly alpha as fuck) and a stronger man is trying to knock some sense into me (literally or figuratively).

It wasn't hard to imagine. I've been in that situation before. I don't have a mentor, though I wish I did, but patriarchs, REAL patriarchs, seem to me to be fathers to us all and have a real desire to teach people all the time. I've run into lots of guys that happily give out life changing advice and assistance, but most of the time they are turned town and frequently even vilified because the advice is dressed in overalls and also it sounds "mean".

There were plenty of times that I was a FUCK UP. I had some awesome guy trying to teach me something and I was the little cunt who wouldn't listen. I practically sang lalala with my ears blocked. I interrupted them and I argued. Or I pretended to listen and immediately forgot.

I draw two lessons on learning lessons from that. Listen even when advice is foreign or aggressive. That's also just a general FUCKING LISTEN, but specifically to those two because that's usually where the best advice is lost. Listening to advice doesn't mean you have to undertake it, but you can't take it into consideration without actually listening to it and you'll never improve if you never change.

And shut the fuck up. If you shut down people who try to help you they won't waste their time on you anymore.

I think that some guys might read this and think "bitch im RP I already accept the truth", but surely we're not all the way to being a silverback patriarch (my life goal) and shifting of the human mind is a longer more complicated process than uttering "I hereby accept all real truths about the world and will no longer be delusional!" (Which is what RP means to me: reality.) I know I've still got some of the defensive knee jerk reaction in me when it's really not that useful when what I am trying to do is break a shit boy and make a strong man.

Edit: Can someone please tell me what flair I'm supposed to give a post like this?