I’m sitting here and thinking how come I turned out be “The Nice Guy” in the past, A guy who was a doormat to people on whom everybody can step on. I didn’t had any spine, I tried to please everybody, done everything that everyone asked me to do - and all of that led to misery and unhappiness. I know now that that’s exactly the reason why I was unhappy, and ever since I’ve decided to stop being doormat and put myself first on the pedestal I realized that that’s the key to happiness.

But, still, I can’t wrap my head around this. Maybe because I experienced rejection early on in my life; maybe because I used to play alone when I was a kid; maybe because my father was domineering and controlling that I didn’t want to become like him; maybe because my mother was teaching me not to be like my father; maybe because all the girls I was trying to date rejected me; maybe because I was in love in illusion of this girl, I thought of her “she’s the one,” even though she dated only jerks and I knew it back then, she complained to me about them; maybe because I was having more girl-friends instead of guy-friends to hang out with in school; maybe because my only true male friend to whom I grew up was in the same mess as I; maybe because my “friends” used to call me only when they needed something from me, to pay me drinks, food, give them ride; maybe because I was one the smallest kids in my class and others felt “naturally” to bully me; maybe because every time I tried to act differently I was shoved back into my box.

Maybe, maybe, maybe..... There’s no maybe here, there are the exactly the reasons why I was The Nice Guy Doormat in the past. It took me so many years to realize what I was doing wrong and it takes time and effort to correct all those mistakes. But, are they worth correcting? Yes, yes and YESSS!!! No one wants to feel misery and depression, and not understanding what is it that you’re doing wrong exactly. I’m only looking to be happy and fulfilled in life; and the only way I’m going to achieve that is if I put myself first, I am my own pedestal and the rest can join me there.

Strangely enough, we can still be nice to people, no need to be complete jerk. But this time is different, this time I’m not sacrificing myself to get approval, I don’t seek approval from others now. People now treat me with respect, they seek my approval now. Those who doesn’t like you are not easy on their triggers now to do or say something against you, they feel fear this time and it feels good that you know that. And the girls, ohhhh the women; now they are mostly nervous, gentle, feminine, checking me out and trying their best for me to notice them when I’m around them. This never happened to me when I was The Nice Guy Doormat, and I was never been happier in my life. Took me many years of suffering to learn all of these, but it was all worth it. And my journey has only just begin!

Keep improving and keep searching yourself. Just do it because of you, not because of others. Do things that you like to do and seek only your own approval, it is the only way that can lead you toward happiness. You need to understand that it takes time, I’m the first one that I have to repeat myself to “I takes time, nothing will come overnight, be patient and keep going forward.” We are lucky that we found something that can help us and navigate us in the right direction.

Keep things positive, don’t give up, keep moving forward and be patient, puzzle will be sorted out piece by piece in the end!!!