Alpha Widowed

[deleted] · 2016-11-18T20:18:51+00:00

My first LTR did the exact same thing and I, like a dumbass, listened to her, stuck around and got cucked within a few months.

Many women will say and do anything to get what they want in that moment. The problem is what they want changes from week to week.

Always make relationship decisions based on what's best for you. Also, if she's attractive, she won't have problems finding another guy, so don't worry about her. She'll be fine.

quicklogaccount · 2016-11-18T18:06:07+00:00

Make a list about the reasons you are breaking up and keep that shit in mind. Think carefully whether you want it over or fixed, because in the heat of the moment it'll all point to "fixed". The rational certainty that you're making the best choice is your only friend there.

The break up talk is tricky. It's REALLY tempting to explain, but if you do, she'll say "I WILL FIX IT".
In the best case scenario, you'll have already told her what the problems were and she'll have either ignored you or not taken you seriously. In this case you don't owe shit to her, and she has the chance of being a better partner for the next guy.
In the worst one, you didn't tell her because of reasons, or you did but you know she didn't understand. The break up talk isn't the moment to tell her either, so in this case if you want to give her a chance you write her a letter or call her a few months later.
Again, if you EXPLAIN, she'll make the whole thing ten times harder.
Basically, you go to the giant blue pill book of break up lines, pick one, rehearse it a few times, and use it. Take into consideration her stage in life. Lurking the wall? Post wall? Pre wall? Marry and have kids sounds wall-ish.
I like the lines that convey that the couple had no future.

It sux to break up man, but you can't spend your whole life frustrated because of a chick. Sooner or later she'll notice that and she'll know she's the cause, which will suck for her.

To avoid caving in and getting back together you remember the reasons that first led you to breaking up. Don't forget them. The only thing you can say to her, no matter what she tells you, is "I am sure I made the best choice, we need some time now."

Man, the bad vibe doesn't come immediately after the break up. For the first month or two you'll be making sense of it and whatever reasons that led you to it will be fresh in your mind.
The idea REALLY stings, HARD, once you pick up some chicks. Abundance mentality kicks in, the inherent anguish of monogamy fades, and you start remembering only the good bits of the LTR and missing the connection. Rationality is your only friend.

RedSkeller · 2016-11-18T18:42:47+00:00

Let me give you advice I wish I had listened to before. Chapters end, life happens, and you might be on different paths. You need to think selfishly here because either you want that life with her or you don't want those things. There is no shame in not wasting someone else's time or you own. You might not WANT to let her go but you know you NEED to. Recognize the different and begin moving on.

Willow-girl · 2016-11-19T04:11:22+00:00

Break off all contact so she can get on with her life. Don't go back and hit it just because she'll probably let you in, at least for the first couple months. It will only build up her hope that you've changed your mind. Be kind and stay away, so she can heal her heart and move on.

Home

Alpha Widowed

Comments

Title	Alpha Widowed
Author	princeali97
Upvotes	3
Comments	6
Date	November 18, 2016 5:32 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5dnno0/alpha_widowed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/alpha-widowed.77789 https://theredarchive.com/post/77789