So I have been feeling like shit since a time ago, I am feeling sad.

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Although I've felt like shit, I have continued lifting 4 times a week and when the gym is closed 2 days of bodyworkout, I have been caring about my skin in general and started to dress better and fix my posture and in my career I have been studying and getting around A grades and I am currently learning a new language

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During this time, I've been meditating about my problems and I've found out that they come because I feel like I have lost the entirety of the game I had back in summer, in summer, I was confident because I knew what to do/ not to do. I got to the conclussion that these negative feelings wouldn't go away without action, so I took action,

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The problem is that, when I take action, I am not as mindful as I was in terms of structure, for example: opening + say this + say this (like a script we could say)

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Whenever I try to implement new knowledge or remember these things, like for example, re-reading the sidebar or reading new books, I feel like my mind is cloudy and can't really grasp what I read, that's why I need another perspective, I am feeling like I have no game, like I have returned to my beta behaviours; when I try to read and apply it, I can't really remember nothing.

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I would appreciate a lot if you guys could help me, because these past months have been a hell for me and I am feeling like It's impossible to return to the level I was.

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I am 17 y/o, sometimes I try to have a positive mindset where I tell myself that I am really young and that I am very fortunate for having found out this subreddit, but on the other part, I feel miserable for not being capable of retaining and applying the information I read here

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English is not my primary language.