Hi bros

I plated a girl during lockdown, I couldn’t spin more plates due to vulnerable family members. The arrangement I had with this women arguably put me in an LTR. During the lockdown she met my family as she came over twice a week.

She didn’t want a relationship and neither did I but we had fun. There was convenience in this for me and she was a high quality plate.

If you read my last post on my page I’ve not had the best of times and I’ve been focusing on my own mental and physical health. I only texted this girl for logistics but probably called her too much it being honest.

I held a great frame at the start and gained a lot of experience, overcoming performance anxiety, anxiety around women and my family etc.

In January 2018 I sustained a knee injury whilst weighing 185lbs. In October 2019 I had developed health anxiety. Poor medical advice etc etc not important. I couldn’t sleep, had muscle imbalances and was internally depressed; my adrenals were fucked from the overwhelming stress and uncertainty. I was told no caffeine, no inflammatory foods, no exercise more than a 20 minute walk a day, no excessive dieting no stress - including no side businesses, studying after work etc. I was at this point already 2 stone over weight due to my 2 year exercise absence. I had been in the emergency room twice with heart palpitations trying to exercise.

I began therapy in feb 2021 for my all of this and everything started to resolve itself. I started to speak of my issues as this women was a yoga fanatic and a meditative guru in her own way.

This weakened my frame but in my head I needed help. My therapist had to delay my treatment and try find out the real reason for my knee injury and in March 2021 I drove 4 hours to a foot specialist and they fixed it with orthotics. It was fixed next day other than mild inflammation due to discomfort for the last 2 years.

The girl left me and said she didn’t want a relationship, I handled it without feelings and wished her good luck and went no contact.

I was kicking myself for allowing my SMV to get worse, my frame to break and mention such things, why I validated her enough to think I wanted a relationship.

I’ve had my week of upset (kept it to myself) and I spoke with a buddy, he thinks I shouldn’t blame myself regarding smv breaking frame etc. He just doesn’t get it but I’m sure you boys will. I’m not upset I’m actually thankful for the help she gave me. She didn’t know about my issues other than me being conscious of my health.

You are the captain of your ship, what happens on your ship no matter what is your responsibility. If you let people on your ship whilst your not a healthy captain then this is where you went wrong. Everything else is coulda shoulda woulda.

I’ve removed myself from the dating game unless I meet a women in person and I will be concentrating on my mental, physical and financial health.

This plate may never come back but I let her in and I can’t just scream hypergamy, if your having problems get professional health and if your in monk mode with your smv at its lowest do not get offended at hypergamy.

I hope this helps someone, I’m sleeping well, exercising and growing financially. I’ve also learnt to stop explaining myself to everybody with help from my therapist. DARE not DEER boys. Hope this helps any new boys starting out.