I will admit that I am a lurker here and in the main forum. But I have read and learned quite a bit from many of you guys. With women its been difficult for me. I know the game pretty well. Keep things interesting and simple. Pull out as many emotional responses as you can, and take control to maintain the interest. That has worked while I'm under the influence. But without a substance I can't be interested in a person.. nor can I hone in their interest to me. I am essentially admitting I'm addicted to drugs and alcohol because they help me maintain a healthy intrigue in people without me slipping into apathy, or some horrible existential check listing. Questions like, "Is it worth it? Do I even care wether or not I get laid? What does this matter in the grand scheme of things?" Etc.. This is tilting me into asexuality. Or maybe I've removed myself psychologically from want or need. I look at men and women alike with this finite lens of futility. I know I can do whatever I want, and that my sudden change in perspective is alienating me from everything. Yet I do nothing to change it. It doesn't feel pertinent, or like a problem at all. Just a numbness to my own emotions, desires, and the desires of those around me. I'll have these fleeting moments of lust for a person that I know. Someone I know I could call, talk to, and fuck. But I'll create a mental image, jerk off, and be done with the entire notion. My mind is literally making itself a surrogate for real people. I was only recently disturbed by this. Anyway, this is probably better suited for a psychology sub reddit. Apologizing in advance. Advice, or even criticism would be nice at this point.